DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I will be celebrating a big anniversary this year. I want to do something fun, and he couldn't care less. Usually, I go along with whatever he wants, but I don’t want to do that this year. On the few occasions when I did throw a party or do something a little extra for our anniversary, he liked it. I guess he just doesn’t want to participate in the work of it. As much as I wish he would help, I want to host a party anyway. How can I go about it so that I don’t wear myself out? -- Time to Celebrate, Denver

DEAR TIME TO CELEBRATE: What do you think would make you and your husband happy? Scale down this year, even as you plan to celebrate. Consider a small dinner with your closest friends and family. This can be manageable and fun for everyone.

What about a mini-vacation for the two of you, maybe in town, where you spend the night at a luxury hotel with spa, and you have a great dinner and some kind of pampering that you both enjoy?

Keep thinking. What would you both enjoy that isn’t too much work for anyone? Keeping the celebration small but special should help you to feel happy and comfortable in your plans.

Be sure to keep your husband informed so that you get buy-in from him. You don’t want to plan a special activity in which your husband does not to want to participate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into my old boyfriend when I was home for Thanksgiving. It was so nice to see him after all these years. I have been married and divorced since I saw him last. He never married. We seemed to hit it off in a sweet way.

I must admit that I never stopped caring about him, but our lives just took different turns. Now we live far away from each other, but it seemed like something could have sparked between us. He called me the other day, and we had a great conversation. Am I foolish for thinking we might still have a chance? I don’t want to be a stupid high school girl again. What should I do? -- Renewed Attraction, Washington, D.C.

DEAR RENEWED ATTRACTION: Don’t jump overboard too fast. Take it slow. But be honest at the same time. If you feel like you are interested in your old boyfriend, tell him how much you are enjoying reconnecting with him. Admit that you are a little surprised at how comfortable it feels. Add that you would like to see if there’s anything real between you beyond friendship. Tell him that you are open for simply rekindling a friendly bond or taking the risk to see if there is a relationship waiting for the two of you to explore. Ask him what he’s thinking. Make sure you are on the same page before you proceed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends are beer drinkers. Whenever we hang out, they order rounds and rounds of beers, and I find myself ordering wine on my own. I don’t like beer and don’t want to drink it. They make fun of me a little bit, but not too much. I know it might be easier for everybody if I decided I would drink beer, but I don’t want to. Am I a spoilsport for wanting to stick with my wine? -- Drink of Choice, Boston

DEAR DRINK OF CHOICE: You should not feel intimidated into drinking something that you aren’t interested in drinking. If your beverage of choice is wine, so be it! You just have to be willing to take a little heat for it. So what! Well, that is if you are OK with having what is equivalent to “house wine” when you hang out with them. To have a finer wine experience, you will likely need to go to a wine bar or a restaurant that serves an assortment of good wines. As far as hanging out with your friends, beer and wine go fine together. Make sure they know you know that!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I have not been a very good friend this year. I have been so busy at work and trying to help my kids with homework that I haven’t had time to call my friends, let alone hang out with them. I got a call from one friend the other day, and she reminded me that we haven’t seen each other since last December. I love her and wish I had been more attentive, but here we are. And she isn’t the only one. I used to have a friend group before I had my kids.

The holiday season is busy, but I have a week or so off. It would be nice to see everybody, but I worry that they will be mad at me. Now I feel super isolated. How can I fix this? -- Wanting My Friends for Christmas, St. Louis

DEAR WANTING MY FRIENDS FOR CHRISTMAS: The holiday season is a great excuse for organizing a gathering with friends. Rather than belaboring what you weren’t able to do this year, plan a get-together with the friend group that you share. Be mindful of whom you choose to invite. The group shouldn’t be too large because the goal is to have meaningful interaction with each person. The group should be diverse enough that you don’t have to be the center of attention. Plan out your gathering. Invite everyone to join you for a long-overdue reconnection.

If you can host the event at your home, all the better. You can invite everyone who has children to bring them along, and you can feel comfortable in your space. Otherwise, you can choose a convenient location so that you feel at ease. Trust that it will be great to see your friends. Reality check: You do not have to commit to anything other than enjoying the moment!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I travel a lot for work. My co-worker who travels with me is has always driven for all the years I have worked at my company. On the last trip, he asked me if I would drive this time. I was shocked. I begged off, saying that I had forgotten my driver’s license. The truth is that I got a DUI a while back and do not have a valid driver’s license right now. I don’t want to tell anybody about this as it could cost me my job, or at least make me look bad. My boss has never asked me to drive. How can I get out of this without causing a stir? -- No Driving Privileges, Atlanta

DEAR NO DRIVING PRIVILEGES: If you have not ever been responsible for driving at work, consider that a blessing. The expectation is not there. If asked by your co-worker again, you can tell him that you are not driving right now. Apologize, but make it clear that you do not have your driver’s license with you. If your boss ever asks you to drive or pick up a rental car, apologize, but say that you cannot as you do not have an active driver’s license. Only if pressed for information from your boss would you have to reveal more information.

Be mindful of drinking at all during your work trips. Should your boss or anyone else learn of your DUI, you will want your behavior after that revelation to be beyond reproach. You are not obliged to tell your boss about your DUI, though. Instead, follow any protocols given to you. If you are able to reinstate your driver’s license down the road, do so. Do not announce that either. Just be prepared to drive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the first time ever, I have not been able to host a big birthday celebration for my daughter. My husband and I are strapped for cash, and we simply do not have the money to pull out all the stops. She is a teenager, so she is old enough to understand, but she is also at the age where she cares about her party more than she has in the past. We told her she could pick a few friends to have an outing with, and that’s what we are doing, but I know she is disappointed. I feel awful. Is there anything else I can do to make a nice celebration for my daughter? -- Time to Celebrate, Seattle

DEAR TIME TO CELEBRATE: Focus on the positive. Plan the smaller birthday party with the same amount of zeal as ever. Get creative with your limited budget. Figure out what you can do to design a fun gathering. The reality is that what people appreciate the most is being together. This includes teenagers. Figure out an activity that is affordable and fun. Make sure your daughter feels good about the plan. Her enthusiasm will be infectious, and her friends will naturally have a good time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)