DEAR HARRIETTE: I dated a guy for two years, and we even lived together for a year. I thought it was going well, but we broke up about six months ago. I didn’t tell my family because I felt embarrassed that it didn’t work out.

Now I have a new boyfriend, and I like him a lot. I want to bring him to meet the family at Christmas, but I know they will be surprised to meet somebody new. How do I break it to them that I have a new boyfriend without causing an interrogation? I just want to enjoy my life without reliving what didn’t work out. -- Welcome Him, Sarasota, Florida

DEAR WELCOME HIM: By all means, tell your family about your new boyfriend before you bring him home. Otherwise, everyone will be uncomfortable, especially him. Start with your parents. You will have to say something about the breakup and why you are no longer with the first guy. They deserve that context. Before they begin to commiserate with you or chastise you, tell them that you have met someone new whom you really like. Tell your family that you want to bring your new friend home to meet them. Ask them to be kind to him and get to know him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family goes to church every year on Christmas Eve. It is a longstanding tradition that I love. I told my boyfriend about it, and I invited him to join us. He doesn’t want to come. He did not grow up in the church and doesn’t see the value of it. He said he would just as gladly meet up with me afterwards. He said he doesn’t want to fake it by going with me since he isn’t into church.

I get his point, but I also see that we have a problem. My church life is very important to me. Any man who is going to be a serious partner for me has to at least try to be a part of my religious life. Should I cut him loose now that I know he is unwilling to make the effort? -- Shared Values, New Orleans

DEAR SHARED VALUES: What you learn about a potential partner early on is often what is true throughout, so it is worth it to pay close attention to your boyfriend’s actions and words. You have to be direct with him. Tell him how important religious rituals and engagement are for you. While it is not a requirement for him to be involved in all of your church activities, let him know that it is essential for you that he be supportive and participatory sometimes. Be open and honest with him about what you what you need from him as it relates to religion. Don’t force him to go to church with you now, but do require conversations where you talk about values and hopes and dreams. You need to find common ground in order for this bond to flourish.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked for a couple of years for a company that had a fantastic mission but horrible management. I couldn’t stay there because it was ridiculous how badly the management treated the staff.

A good friend of mine just applied to work at the company and asked me if I would recommend it. I feel terrible wanting to tell her to run for the hills, but I can’t recommend working there. I also don’t want to badmouth them. I discovered that they are listed on Glassdoor.com with plenty of past employees telling horror stories of what I already know. Would it be wrong of me to refer my friend to the reviews? -- Walk Away, Chicago

DEAR WALK AWAY: Your friend has asked you for an endorsement. I recommend that you share your opinion about working at the company. Keep your comments clear and factual rather than emotional. State what you liked about the experience -- and what you did not like. Be careful not to badmouth anyone. Your comments are important because your friend trusts you. Your mindful criticism is also key, given that your friend may end up working there.

You can go a step further and point her to Glassdoor.com. Let her know that she will see anonymous reviews from people who also worked there, so that she can consider more than your opinion. In the end, many people take jobs even after they have been warned about issues that could be stumbling blocks. Often, they make this choice for economic reasons. Whatever your friend decides, do not judge her. But do tell her the truth as you understand it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It would be an understatement to say that we have had a tough year this year. But somehow we have managed to get by and be happy, too. My husband has taken up playing the guitar. He loves it, though he hasn’t had any formal training. He sounds OK, given that it’s still pretty new. I was thinking that a nice gift for him would be guitar lessons. We have been pinching pennies a lot this year, but the cost for lessons is within our budget. Do you think I should ask him first or just give him the gift? I think he would love it. -- Make Him Smile, Dallas

DEAR MAKE HIM SMILE: If you feel confident that you can afford the lessons and that there is flexibility to schedule them at times that work for your husband, go for it. Since he has grown such an affinity for the instrument, he will likely be thrilled that you got him such a thoughtful gift.

Given that you are watching your money, you may need to tell him not to worry about the cost of the lessons, because they fit comfortably into your budget. Add that happiness and joy are key to your ability to move through this difficult time and pave the way for your future together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is full-figured, and she has great style. I decided to get her an item of clothing for Christmas, but I wasn’t sure of the size, so I sent her a text asking her what size she wears. Why did I do that?! She wrote back to me that it was none of my business and asking why was I wanted to know. She accused me of making fun of her size, and she cursed me out. All I wanted to do was get her something nice for Christmas. Now I don’t want to get her anything. She was so rude. Should I let her know why I was asking? -- Not Her Size, Baltimore

DEAR NOT HER SIZE: Take a deep breath and calm down. It is worth it for you to clarify this situation. Call your sister and tell her you want to talk. With her blessing, explain to her that you love her style and thought it would be fun to buy her a fashion item for Christmas. Because you don’t know her size, you thought it best to ask. You were absolutely not trying to insult her. Instead, your intention was to do something special by buying her something cool that would fit. Apologize for hurting her feelings.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went out for drinks with a colleague after work, and, at the last minute, he invited one of his friends to tag along. I was hungry, so I ordered myself some dinner, too. When it came time to pay the bill, I asked the waiter if he would separate our checks. I thought that was the simplest thing to do since we all had different things, but also I wasn’t expecting this other guy to join us. My friend gave me a funny look but ended up being fine with it. In fact, he paid for his friend’s and his bill himself. Did I do something wrong by paying for my food separately? I’m sure my share was more than theirs anyway because I had food and they didn’t. -- Splitting the Bill, Cincinnati

DEAR SPLITTING THE BILL: Figuring out how to divide a restaurant (or bar) tab when there are multiple parties is almost always hard and tends to be lopsided. Your decision to request your bill be separated was fine. That way, you didn’t have to go through the awkward exercise of calculating each person’s contribution, or worse, agreeing to split the bill when it was not an even split.

If your friend ever says anything, you can point out that had you split the bill they would have paid more because of your higher food bill. Honestly, it is unlikely that you will have to say a word. You handled it simply and directly. That is the most that anyone could ask.

It could have been that your friend had intended to foot the whole bill, but you could not have known that. In such a case, it is up to the person offering to pay it all to speak up. You should never make that assumption.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)