DEAR READERS: It is that time of year again when we pause to give thanks for all of the blessings in our lives. For me, Thanksgiving is always a highlight because it was at this time of year that my daughter was born. In fact, that first year we had Thanksgiving dinner in the hospital. For me as well as so many people across our country, Thanksgiving is a time for family. Many people travel for thousands of miles to be face to face with the ones they love. We break bread, reminisce and otherwise invoke blessings for the gifts we have received and the challenges we have overcome since we were last together.

I appreciate the spirit of Thanksgiving that we collectively choose to engage. A friend recently told me about a Tony Robbins talk he had seen where Robbins challenged everyone to stay positive for seven consecutive days. I love this idea. It requires consciously choosing to see goodness in each moment and not allowing negativity to seep into your mind, words or actions. This is definitely not an easy exercise, but imagine how the quality of your life could change if you stopped yourself whenever a destructive, critical thought entered your mind.

Instead of talking about other people or otherwise deflecting from what’s going on in your life by criticizing others, stay focused on what you need to do. Make the choice to see whatever good is before you. This includes when you are facing something that is frustrating or unfair, difficult or annoying. Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation before you. When you look for wisdom in even the most challenging situation, you can extract goodness from it. You can find the lesson and offer your gratitude for what you learn. This is how you can turn a negative into a positive.

Choosing the positive does not mean you ignore the negative people, places or things that may be impacting your life. Instead, look at them with open eyes, without preconceived ideas about what they mean. You examine them wholeheartedly so you can learn and grow.

With people, particularly at this holiday time of respite, practice seeing the good in your family and in the moment. Build parameters around your interactions with people so you give yourself enough alone time that you can be refreshed when you need to offer compassion, attention and caring for others. Striking a balance between caring for yourself and being thoughtful around others is important. If you do not give yourself enough personal nurturing time, your intention of living in the positive will backfire.

The good news is that you have an opportunity to approach your life in a revolutionary way. Be pleasant. If family members try to test you, don’t get caught in their trap. Instead, look past their complaints to something good about them. You can change the subject when they start critical talk. Ask them about something that they are positively passionate about, like their children, work or a hobby. Sometimes you may have to ask them to stop talking about people. When that occurs, sweeten your request by saying you would much rather hear about something great that’s happening in their lives. Keep changing the subject until you both are happily on the same page. It works!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been binge-watching TV series for a few seasons now. I feel so embarrassed, but it really is addictive. Because of the way programming is offered now, binge-watching has become a trend. I hate to say it, but I sometimes choose to watch these shows rather than going to work on time or doing my chores. My family thinks I’ve gone loco. Even so, it’s hard to turn it off. What advice do you have for me? -- On a Loop, Santa Fe, New Mexico

DEAR ON A LOOP: Just because something is a trend doesn’t make it good for you, which is something you have learned with the experience of binge-watching TV. This trend has blossomed so quickly and broadly that media outlets write about it all the time as if it’s a great thing. As you are experiencing, anything that takes on the behavior of an addiction is not great. Instead, it represents being out of control.

What you must grasp is that you can regain control. Start by evaluating the quality of your life right now, including listing what you value the most. By writing down each person, relationship, goal and responsibility, you will see right before your eyes which items measure higher than your current favorite TV program.

Separately, list the things that stand in your way. This could be anything from the binge-watching to what you eat, drink and pay attention to that is distracting. Compare the two lists. Just reviewing these two topics should help you reconsider how you spend your time. Give yourself parameters for when you are allowed to turn on any device that will show your favorite programs. Don’t turn any of them on outside that time frame. Give yourself a specific window after work hours when you can indulge in your favorite pastime. Turn it off when the time is up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have almost a dozen black-tie events to attend this holiday season. I have a new job, and it requires me to go out a lot. What it doesn’t offer is a wardrobe budget. I can’t afford to buy fancy dresses every other week. It’s crazy. How can I go to these functions and show that I know how to do my job without going completely broke? -- Cinderella, Bethesda, Maryland

DEAR CINDERELLA: You are in luck! Today there are a number of retail establishments that offer rental options for all styles of clothing, including eveningwear. Many will mail dresses to you in several sizes for a week’s fee, which is much lower than the cost of the dress. In this way you can rent a dress and return it, giving you more budget to rent for the whole season. Some reputable sites include renttherunway.com, gwynniebee.com (for plus-size fashions) and couturecollective.com. Look online yourself. There are lots of choices, both local and national, that can help you look great without spending too much money.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Diabetes runs in my family. Nearly every adult who has reached 45 years old has gotten it, and many of my father’s relatives died of complications from it. I am so worried that it will happen to me. For years, I worked out a lot and kept myself fit.

For the past 10 years, though, I haven’t paid much attention to my health, and I have gained a ton of weight. I am worried that I could be headed toward diabetes. I’m so ashamed. I have avoided going to the doctor because I don’t want to be told I have the family curse. I feel like such a loser. I don’t know what to do. I feel as though I will be letting my family down if I have it because I could have taken preventative measures. Is it too late to do anything now? What’s my next step? -- Hopeless and Ashamed, Syracuse, New York

DEAR HOPELESS AND ASHAMED: This wake-up call about yourself can seem daunting, but don’t try to hide from whatever your truth is. Go to the doctor and get a complete physical examination. Be sure to tell your internist about your family history. You should request the test for diabetes. It is wise to know what health issues you are facing so you can deal with them directly.

If you do have diabetes, follow the protocol your doctor has given you, and be sure to exercise and pay close attention to your diet. Eliminate everything that your doctor tells you to stop eating. If you follow directions, which will include losing weight, you may be able to reduce the impact of diabetes and any other ailments the doctor may discover. Instead of being paralyzed by shame, take action. You can oversee your health. You can choose wellness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a nice young man I think my parents would like a lot. He is thoughtful and attentive. He also has a good job and career aspirations even though he’s still young -- 22 years old. The one big thing that could stand in the way is that he doesn’t share our religious beliefs. We are Catholic, and he is Jewish. I’m worried both of our families will be upset about this.

It’s too soon to say whether we want to go the distance yet, but I’m worried that if we actually fall in love and decide we want to get married, our parents will stand in our way. We haven’t talked about this directly, but I know it’s on his mind too. We are both close to our families. It would be awful if they turned away from us. How should we proceed? -- On a Twisty Path, Dallas

DEAR ON A TWISTY PATH: Start with each other. Talk about the elephant in the room. Play the “what if” game. Ask yourselves what if you decided to get married. What are the pros? The cons? How would each of your families react? Do you feel that you could weather the emotional storms that might come from your religious differences? Talk about how you might choose each other when conflicts arise. Play it out to see if you think you could handle it in real time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)