DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband usually is clean-cut, and I like that. Recently he has let his beard grow in for a week or more at a time. He works in a job where having a beard is fine, but for me it’s an issue. He likes to cuddle up close to me at night, and his beard is rough and scratchy. I often wake up with irritated skin. I love my husband and want to cuddle with him. How can I get him to understand that for me it would be great if he would shave before coming to bed? -- Please Shave, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR PLEASE SHAVE: Show your husband your skin when you wake up in the morning and tell him that the irritation comes directly from his stubble rubbing against you. Tell him how much you enjoy cuddling with him at night, but that his beard is making it hard for that to happen. Ask him if he will shave it off.

The other option is for him to grow it out more. A longer beard often is less bristly. You could suggest he try to grow out his beard and together you can decide if it works for you. This will show that you are offering a compromise. Keep him informed about how your skin reacts to his beard. Being open about it is way better than you inching away from him in bed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has a tendency of speaking his mind straight out, no matter who is around. This includes cursing up a storm. Our family got together recently, including a couple of our older relatives, and his constant profanity rubbed a few of them the wrong way. One of my aunties was visibly disturbed. Another sent a cousin over to me to ask if I could get him to tone it down. Unfortunately, that never works. When I have asked my husband in the past to make his commentary G-rated when we expect guests, he laughs and tells me he will do what he wants in his own house. The reality is he does it even if he is at a restaurant. What can I do? -- Washing His Mouth Out With Soap, Seattle

DEAR WASHING HIS MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP: You know your husband, and chances are your relatives do, too. This does not excuse his insensitivity to his surroundings. However, if he refuses to budge at all on his colorful language, you cannot force him to make a change. You can choose to visit with your elders independent of your husband. Go to your aunties and spend time with them. Call them on the phone so that you stay in touch.

When you plan family gatherings, remind them that your husband probably will add color to the gathering. As elders, they have lived long enough to encounter others who don’t follow all the rules. Remind them there’s always one in the bunch who is an outlier. Your husband happens to be the one in your family.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I participated in a wonderful family celebration, and we took a ton of photos. I took some on my phone, and as per usual, I posted some of them. My husband hit the roof. He was so angry that I had “violated” our family’s privacy. I never thought I was doing that. I am proud of my family and happy to share. I use social media all the time. I don’t think other family members had the same opinion, but my husband is livid. How do I handle this in the future? -- To Post or Not to Post, Chicago

DEAR TO POST OR NOT TO POST: Some people want their private moments to remain private, which is difficult in these days of social media. Your husband is not wrong to have wanted the times you spent with family to remain within the family. That you typically post photos, though, means he knows this is your practice. His alarm could be out of proportion to your common practice.

It is smart for you to ask before posting pictures, even images of your family and friends. Before the advent of social media, it was common practice for people to be required to sign photo releases stating that they had given permission for their image to be broadcast or published. This is still a regular practice professionally, but it is hard to enforce when nearly everyone has a smartphone and a social media account.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a guy for about six months. He is nice and thoughtful, but he wears way too much cologne. I’m not sure why he thinks he needs to spray it on so heavy, but sometimes it gives me a headache. I am very sensitive to smell, which he doesn’t know. I figure he sprays it on a lot because he wants to impress me. How can I let him know I would prefer he didn’t wear it, without hurting his feelings? -- Creative Courting, Dallas

DEAR CREATIVE COURTING: You have endured too much cologne for six months, which means your guy probably has no clue you don’t like it. Speak up, using your sensitivity to smell as the lead. Tell him how you react to fragrance, whether you get a headache or sick to your stomach, whatever happens. Explain you didn’t want to hurt his feelings because you know he likes to wear cologne. Admit that while you think it’s nice, it really is hard for you.

If you like this guy, you must give your relationship a chance by asking him to take away this barrier to intimacy. You cannot expect him to know how you feel about fragrance -- or anything else -- if you don’t tell him. The key to a successful relationship is communication. It’s the little things that make the difference in effective communication, too. Be kind and clear when you talk to him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that so many stories are coming out about sexual misconduct at work, I have remembered several incidents that I faced in my job when I was a young woman. I shrugged them off as part of life because my other female colleagues had mentioned that our boss was a serious flirt. As I recall it, though, I ended up leaving this particular job because my boss wouldn’t stop trying to get me to go to bed with him. He was married, and I was barely 20 years old. I have gone on to build a fine career for myself. I’m wondering, though, if I should add my voice to this discussion. My former boss is still running his company (even though he doesn’t own it) and still could be harassing women. I’m still working and don’t want to cause a problem for myself. What should I do? -- Speaking Up, Denver

DEAR SPEAKING UP: What is powerful about the groundswell of voices in what has come to be known as the #METOO movement is that there is power in numbers. As women (and men) in many fields have spoken up and told stories of how they were harassed on the job, the message is ringing loudly that it is not OK to violate another’s rights.

In your case, to protect yourself you may want to go to your current boss first and explain what you remember. Tell your boss you want to expose your former boss for the violations that occurred with you because you are concerned about his current employees. Keeping your boss in the know should protect you during this process.

Go to your former company’s owners -- whoever is above your former boss. Let them know what happened to you and that you think it’s important for them to know. Ask them if they intend to address it or if it will be necessary for you to go to the press or social media to out this man.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just went through some old photos from my childhood, and I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, I saw many old friends at events when we had a wonderful time together. I also saw friends who have already died. And most of us don’t look anything like we did when we were young. I have been struggling with my weight and health for a few years now. Seeing myself as a young person makes me realize I didn’t take good care of myself. I feel ashamed. Part of me feels it’s too late to turn things around. My doctor says that if I work hard, I can regain good health. Seeing the photos makes me long for the past when things weren’t so hard. -- Giving Up, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR GIVING UP: Let those old photos inspire you -- not to become your teenage self, but to claim good health and work toward it. You may also want to reach out to old friends to reconnect with them. Don’t let your transformation over the years hold you back. Everybody has changed, not just you. Enjoy your friends and move your body.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)