DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been dating a man who is the quintessential nice guy. He calls me a lot. He asks me out on dates every weekend. He has great manners.

On paper, he is everything a girl could want. The problem is, I am bored out of my mind. He is so predictable. I understand this should be great, but I want to have my guy make things exciting, at least a little.

I tried to light the spark by suggesting different kinds of dates, but he is clear about what he wants to do, when the date begins and when it ends. I am spontaneous, at least a bit, and he doesn’t seem to have room for that.

I know we aren’t a perfectly matched couple, but I do like him. How can I get him to think more collaboratively? It is nice to have company, so I don’t want to push him away. -- Rev Him Up, White Plains, New York

DEAR REV HIM UP: Ask yourself if nice is enough. It doesn’t sound like it to me. If you want more, be willing to ask for more. Be honest. Tell him you want to mix things up a bit. Ask him to consider being more collaborative. Think about trying to get closer to him rather than pushing him away. Say as much to him.

Now is the time to get to know him better. He may be cautious about what you do on dates because he is watching his budget. Suggest free or affordable activities that are fun, like apple picking or hiking around a lake and bringing a bag lunch.

If he doesn’t budge for any new idea, rethink whether he’s your guy. You deserve a date who is willing to consider your ideas too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like the luckiest man in the world when I look back and I see how good my wife has been to me. When I was younger, I played the field, and she never left me. We got married young, and I sowed my oats even after we got married.

I’m not proud of my indiscretions, but I do want to do something for my wife to celebrate her and our marriage. I had surgery recently, and she has been way better than a nurse to me. How can I show her my appreciation now? -- Filled With Gratitude, Los Angeles

DEAR FILLED WITH GRATITUDE: Start by telling your wife on a regular basis how much you love and appreciate her. Notice the little things she does and comment on them. Think about what she loves to do, and plan a special occasion to give that to her. It could be taking a trip or going to the museum or a play. It could be watching a chick flick or taking a walk. Tap into what makes your wife smile, and offer that to her every day. Paying attention to her needs and desires will show her your appreciation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has a small group of friends she has been close to since she was a child. She is now in her late 80s.

They used to get together frequently and talk on the phone a lot. They are still alive and going about their days, but mostly they don’t talk to each other anymore. I think this is because they are all dealing with ailments, as well as the reality that they aren’t driving and can’t get around to see each other.

I want to change that and arrange for them to get together a few times a year. I don’t have a lot of money to pull that off, though, so I’m not sure how to do it. Any ideas? -- Keep the Flame Alive, Milwaukee

DEAR KEEP THE FLAME ALIVE: If any other children of your mother’s friend group are living, reach out to them to see if they will support you in this great effort. Perhaps the adult children can help to arrange calls between the friends periodically.

You also can host small dinners at your homes where you arrange to transport the various friends to whoever’s home is host for that day. A little coordination can go a long way. Even if the meal occurs at your mother’s home or another friend’s, you and the other adult children, or even grandchildren, can do the cooking and cleaning to make it easy on them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so lucky we were able to get my son into a private school that offers all the courses that interest him. This is a blessing, considering my husband and I cannot afford to pay the hefty tuition. We received a scholarship that allows my son to attend.

What has become difficult is many of the kids have a lot more money and things than my son. That is to be expected, but practically speaking, it is hard to manage. I don’t want my son to feel “less than,” but am unsure what to do to support my son and manage his expectations. -- Looking In, Washington

DEAR LOOKING IN: Your son is getting to see how wealthy people live. Consider that a good thing. The more he learns about the dynamics of the world, the better off he will be. Will he lust for things he doesn’t have? Probably. But that’s part of our commercial culture, isn’t it?

What you must do is remind him of your family values and teach him it’s OK he doesn’t have all the things that some of his friends do. What he is getting is a top-notch education. This includes access to see what money can and cannot bring you.

Suggest that he observe everything happening in his world. He will discover what types of jobs afford certain luxuries, the value of connections and relationships, the priceless value of honesty and respect, and the downside of excess. Encourage him to choose friends who share his beliefs, regardless of how much money or how many things they have.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was asked to give gently used clothing to a clothing drive for victims of the hurricanes that have occurred in recent weeks. I am so happy to help, and I gathered everything my family and I could give away.

I was a little concerned because I saw a news report that said that sending “stuff” was not good because it was hard for people to receive it. The woman in charge of the drive promised she could make it happen. She also showed me the website of the organization she is working with that has a high charity rating. I just want to make sure this is legit. What should I do? -- For Those in Need, Chicago

DEAR FOR THOSE IN NEED: It is true that sending clothing and food items can be tricky for certain parts of the world that are surviving disasters. I also have seen reports that show food rotting at drop-off points and clothing seemingly dumped and discarded. It is also true that some organizations have figured out distribution systems to make it possible to get these items directly to the people.

You should go to the charity's website to learn who they are and how they care for people -- for this crisis and in the past. Also, you can look at Charity Navigator (charitynavigator.org), an organization that closely checks to ensure the financial health and transparency of charities and ranks them accordingly. This will help you assess whether your donations will get to their destination.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter and her best friend often spend time together after school. I got word from a friend that he saw them walking in a busy commercial neighborhood, and he was worried about them.

He said they looked innocent, but he was sure young men would be interested in them because they looked provocative, even though he said they weren’t necessarily dressed in a sexy way. He said, as a guy, he knows how guys can look at innocent girls like that. He told me he didn’t speak to them and might not have told me, but since I ran into him he thought I should know.

How can I handle this situation? I know my daughter has to grow up, and I am figuring out how to protect her and to let her have some independence. -- In the Balance, Manhattan, New York

DEAR IN THE BALANCE: Your job is to constantly teach your daughter how to protect herself as she is growing up. She should always be mindful of her surroundings, and -- as she is doing -- it is best to travel at least in pairs.

For your friend, ask him to speak to her whenever he sees her so she knows someone who cares about her is looking out for her. Ask him to tell you whenever he sees her. Then when you tell her she will realize, as the old folks used to say, you do have eyes in the back of your head. We need a village to help protect and raise our children to keep them safe.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)