DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old son wants to dye his hair red and get a mohawk. I am strongly opposed to it, and I won’t let him do it. He is mad at me and will not speak to me. I don’t know what to do. Should I let him do it? -- Red Mohawk, Las Vegas

DEAR RED MOHAWK: I have what may seem like a surprise question for you: What is your trepidation around this request? I ask because possibly the safest time for someone to explore hair options and personal identification is during these young years, well before work comes into play and the child has to choose a more modest presentation. Changing hair color is one of the more temporary, noninvasive forms of self-expression for people to use today.

I would ask your son why he wants to do change his hair, and then let him go for it. You can also talk about choices and what they say about a person. Ask him what he thinks a red mohawk will say about him, his personality and his choices in life. Chances are, this is one of many choices your son will want to make as he discovers himself. Be ready to talk to him about each. Whenever you can encourage him to choose to do something that is not long-lasting, head in that direction. Just saying no can be dangerous, though, as it can prompt teens to retaliate by doing that very thing -- or something more detrimental -- out of spite.

DEAR HARRIETTE: All of my friends are going to a concert in a few months. My parents won’t let me go because they don’t feel comfortable with my attending. Everyone is going, and it seems like it is going to be so much fun. I want to go, but every time I ask my parents, they shut me down immediately. Do you have any suggestions as to how I should talk to them? Should I just let it go? -- Friend 4 Friend, Portland, Oregon

DEAR FRIEND 4 FRIEND: It sounds like your parents are not going to budge. You should accept their decision. From the position of acceptance, you may be able to go back to them to learn why they are so adamantly opposed to your attending this concert. In a calm moment, tell them that you understand and respect their decision. Then ask them if they would share with you what their reasoning is. Probe to find out if something happened to them at a concert when they were young. Ask if they are worried about the terrorism that occurred recently at the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England. Is this why they want you to avoid concerts? Do they object to the group you would be going to watch?

Try to find out what’s on their minds. This is the only way you will get a sense of whether they may ever allow you to go to a concert and where they draw the line. As angry as you may be, do not defy them. Do not sneak out and go to the concert if they have clearly forbidden you. The risk is not worth it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a shy 13-year-old. I recently went to the eye doctor, and I found out I need glasses. I don’t want glasses, and my mom won’t let me use contacts. Glasses make me look like a bug. I am very anxious. How do I cope with it? -- Four Eyes, Denver

DEAR FOUR EYES: I feel your pain! I have been wearing glasses since I was in the fifth grade, and trust me, when I was growing up, the selection available for glasses was limited, and I was teased on a daily basis -- in the beginning.

The great news today is that you have plenty of choices of frames that will NOT make you look like a bug! I promise. You need to try on a wide variety of frames, including clear plastic frames, rimless frames and others.

The next thing is to have the optometrist look at your prescription. If it is strong, chances are, your lenses may need to be thick in order to correct your vision. Once again, there is a workaround for that. Today, you can get compressed lenses that will shrink the thickness of your glasses while still giving you the sharpness of sight needed. Shop around to find a store that will fill your prescription affordably. Once you find frames that you like, you may also consider buying your glasses online.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 8-year-old sister keeps telling me that she wants a fish for her birthday. I want to get her something different, but she is being very persistent about this fish. My parents don’t want the fish either, because they are going to be the ones taking care of it. My sister says she will clean the tank and feed it, but she won’t. I need to gear her in another direction and toward a different gift. How do you suggest I do that? -- Beyond the Fish, New York City

DEAR BEYOND THE FISH: It is your parents’ responsibility to deal with your sister and the fish. They may even want to decide to get her a fish, show her how to care for it and then leave it to her to follow through. If she does not, the fish will die, and sadly, she will see cause and effect in action.

For you, ask your sister what else she wants for her birthday. Think about her interests and throw out some ideas to get her creativity flowing. Also, point out to her that even though it’s her birthday, she won’t always get exactly what she wants, so it is smart to have a few ideas. Encourage her to think about fun, affordable ideas that do not require so much responsibility. If you are able to get her to consider another option, you will be helping her and your parents immeasurably.

But still, do know that it is your parents’ role to manage the pet issue. My daughter has always wanted a dog. I am allergic (even to hypoallergenic ones), so we aren’t getting one, and she is clear about that -- even though she continues to ask from time to time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I found a recent segment on "60 Minutes" -- regarding modern technology and the overuse of smartphones by teenagers -- concerning. The report noted that the goal of these phones and available applications on these devices is to compel overuse by stimulating pleasure hormones in the brain to the point of addiction for many users, particularly teenager users.

My concern is just that -- my 17-year-old is obsessed with his iPhone and Snapchat. I have the hardest time getting him to focus on anything without checking his phone every two minutes. As a rising senior in high school, I am concerned that this has impacted his studies, motivation and focus on what he needs to get ahead of his college admissions, and it seems to have deterred his willingness to complete his responsibilities at home. Since I cannot monitor exactly what he is saying or who is in engaged with during all this constant tweeting and texting, I am concerned about the safety and content of these conversations as well. Any advice? -- Enlightened No. 11, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR ENLIGHTENED NO. 11: It seems that mobile phones have replaced the video games of the previous generation, and because they are portable, their use is less controllable. Anything that has the propensity to inspire addiction can be dangerous. You have every reason to be concerned.

As tough as it will be for you to control your son’s behavior at this stage in his development, you should try. For starters, require that he limit the use of his smartphone and any other electronic devices until specific chores and homework are completed. Make an at-home policy of confiscating his phone until you're satisfied with his chores. When he does not have his phone in hand, explain to him how important it is for him to do well on all tests so that he can get into the college of his choice. Be clear that you are not punishing your son; you are protecting him from distractions that could derail his progress. Stay vigilant.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my teenage daughter’s friends gave her a very pretty ring for her birthday. She doesn’t like it, but she feels obligated to wear it and keep it. I told her she could exchange it if she is never going to wear it. She thinks it is disrespectful if she returns it. I don’t know what do to. What do you think? -- Ring Girl, Chicago

DEAR RING GIRL: Talk to your daughter about her relationship with this friend. How close are they? How often do they spend time together? If your daughter thinks she will see this friend a lot, she may want to wear the ring a couple of times and make sure that her friend sees her wearing it. After that, she can put it in her jewelry box and forget about it. If she and the girl are not close, she can return it or exchange it for something she prefers. If asked, she can thank the girl again for the ring and tell her that she replaced it with a ring that was better suited for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)