DEAR HARRIETTE: Before the actual prom, there is a “pre-prom.” This is where we take pictures all together and then we head over to prom. Typically, the girls plan pre-prom, and the guys do after-prom. This year, it is a little different because the guys are planning pre-prom.

Most of my friends are going to prom together, but my date is in a different friend group. This means that I will be at a different house for pre-prom. All my friends are saying that I should tell my date that I want to be with my friends so I can be in the pictures, but I feel bad. I was thinking I would split the time, but I don’t know if that is a good idea. What should I do? -- Splits, Buffalo, New York

DEAR SPLITS: It looks like your friend intersections aren’t working very well. Ideally, your plan could work if you coordinate with everyone. If the houses are not too far away from each other, plan to split your time between the houses so that you and your date get to be in each other’s company for the pre-prom photos. This may require asking for the festivities to begin earlier than normal to accommodate travel time. If you discover that you are too far away for this to be practical, plan to meet up before prom and take photos together outside before you go into the event.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a somewhat shy 20-year-old woman. I was invited to a party for a friend who I am not close with. By all accounts, this party sounds like it’s going to be big and fancy. My friend knows a lot of people, and her family has a big, fabulous house near the beach. It sounds like a big deal. My family says the right thing to do is to go. I do not feel comfortable going alone because I don’t know anyone. Would it be rude if I asked this person if I could bring a friend with me? Is that impolite? -- Party 567, Miami

DEAR PARTY 567: I like that your family is encouraging you to break out of your shell and go to the party. It can feel daunting to go for it, but it is important for you to push past your shyness and get out there. It is also smart to ask if you can bring a friend. By all means, call the host and simply ask. If this is a big party and not a sit-down dinner, chances are your friend will be happy to welcome your guest.

If you feel you need to explain why you want to bring along a guest, you can tell the truth and say you’re a bit shy and generally don’t go to parties alone. No need to offer up that information unless you get asked, though.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently focused on building my savings account and becoming financially secure. I work a 9-to-5 job, and I bartend on the weekends, so this doesn’t leave much time for myself. Recently, my friend "Alec" told me that he sees me as something more than a friend. I could see us in a relationship, but I am honestly too focused on creating stability right now. Do I let this opportunity pass me by? I barely have time for myself, let alone a relationship. -- Riding Solo, Dallas

DEAR RIDING SOLO: I believe in creating a well-balanced life. From my perspective, that includes a partner with whom you can share your victories and challenges. Sure, it’s important to become financially secure. This should be a goal for every person. But to what end? I don’t think you need to consider financial independence as mutually exclusive of having a loving relationship.

Instead of shooing Alec away, talk to him about your goals and dreams. Ask him to share his as well. Express your focus on building financial security. Find out his perspective on finances and the future. As you talk to him about the things that are important to you, you will discover whether you two have compatible interests and goals. If you do, consider sharing some of your time with Alec as you continue with your life’s plan.

I met a couple recently who met when they were young and each dreaming about designing a better life for themselves. They started out as friends, and ended up getting married and being business partners. From nothing more than talking about the future, they built a life for themselves and a business that was worth millions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: "Sean" and I have been friends for a few years. For most of the time we’ve known each other, he’s been in a serious relationship. That recently ended with his now-ex breaking his heart. At first, I became his confidant because I wanted to help him get through this tough time, but now I am hearing that he is staying close to me to try to use me as a rebound.

I am very put off by Sean right now, and I want to know if he ever saw me as a friend. Should I confront Sean about what I’ve been hearing or just let his messages go unanswered? -- Friends?, Boston

DEAR FRIENDS?: Talk to Sean directly. Tell him what you have heard about his intentions and how upsetting these rumors are. Speak about your feelings. If you like him as more than a friend, tell him. But know that people typically need time to heal right after breakups. Often, the person who is there immediately after does become the rebound person, even if it isn’t intentional.

If you want a real chance with Sean, you may need to step back or at least draw the line as to what boundaries you are willing to cross with him until he is on solid ground. By all means, be honest with him about where you stand and what you want from your friendship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend has been fighting with her parents more than usual. This friend likes to keep her life very private, but we can tell she has a lot of thoughts bottled up. She doesn’t like to talk to us -- her friends -- about it because she wants us to think that she has the perfect family. She doesn’t understand that every family has their fights and every child fights with her parents. We can relate. She needs someone to talk to who can keep it confidential -- maybe even a therapist. My friends want to tell her, but we know she will get upset and offended. What should we do? -- Stargirl, Providence, Rhode Island

Dear STARGIRL: Sometimes the greatest gift in friendship is risking the longevity of the relationship for the greater good -- in this case, your friend’s mental health. If you firmly believe that your friend needs psychological support in order to be healthy, make the recommendation. Frame it as you did here by pointing out that everyone has family challenges. Give an example of yourself or a mutual friend to make it real for her. Preface your next statement by saying that even though you know she will be upset by what you need to say to her, you have something that must be said. Tell your friend that you are worried about her and that you feel strongly that she should see a therapist. Explain that a neutral professional may be able to help her sort through her feelings and issues and support her in figuring out how to handle what’s on her plate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Prom is in a few weeks, and I am finalizing my dress, hair and makeup. My dress is dark blue, and my date keeps asking me what color tuxedo he should wear. He also wants to wear dark blue, but I want him to wear black. Will the blue on blue clash or look bad? What should I tell him? -- Blue Couple, Omaha, Nebraska

DEAR BLUE COUPLE: It’s sweet that your date wants to match his tuxedo to your dress. The range of choices for male formal attire is so limited that he should get credit for wanting to be a bit creative. What you should know about dark blue is that it will likely read as black in many pictures if it is really dark. In terms of deciding whether it will clash with your dress, go to the rental store and take a look at the color. If you can bring your dress, that’s great. If not, take a good look at it -- and a photo. Then you can compare to your dress.

Chances are, the tuxedo will look great with your dress if both are dark blue, even if the colors aren’t identical. Plus, your date will feel great because you trusted him to do his best to complement you with his attire. It can be a win-win all around!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)