DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend has been fighting with her parents more than usual. This friend likes to keep her life very private, but we can tell she has a lot of thoughts bottled up. She doesn’t like to talk to us -- her friends -- about it because she wants us to think that she has the perfect family. She doesn’t understand that every family has their fights and every child fights with her parents. We can relate. She needs someone to talk to who can keep it confidential -- maybe even a therapist. My friends want to tell her, but we know she will get upset and offended. What should we do? -- Stargirl, Providence, Rhode Island

Dear STARGIRL: Sometimes the greatest gift in friendship is risking the longevity of the relationship for the greater good -- in this case, your friend’s mental health. If you firmly believe that your friend needs psychological support in order to be healthy, make the recommendation. Frame it as you did here by pointing out that everyone has family challenges. Give an example of yourself or a mutual friend to make it real for her. Preface your next statement by saying that even though you know she will be upset by what you need to say to her, you have something that must be said. Tell your friend that you are worried about her and that you feel strongly that she should see a therapist. Explain that a neutral professional may be able to help her sort through her feelings and issues and support her in figuring out how to handle what’s on her plate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Prom is in a few weeks, and I am finalizing my dress, hair and makeup. My dress is dark blue, and my date keeps asking me what color tuxedo he should wear. He also wants to wear dark blue, but I want him to wear black. Will the blue on blue clash or look bad? What should I tell him? -- Blue Couple, Omaha, Nebraska

DEAR BLUE COUPLE: It’s sweet that your date wants to match his tuxedo to your dress. The range of choices for male formal attire is so limited that he should get credit for wanting to be a bit creative. What you should know about dark blue is that it will likely read as black in many pictures if it is really dark. In terms of deciding whether it will clash with your dress, go to the rental store and take a look at the color. If you can bring your dress, that’s great. If not, take a good look at it -- and a photo. Then you can compare to your dress.

Chances are, the tuxedo will look great with your dress if both are dark blue, even if the colors aren’t identical. Plus, your date will feel great because you trusted him to do his best to complement you with his attire. It can be a win-win all around!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Many of my friends are going to graduate school post-graduation, but I have not made this decision for myself yet. My career values experience more than a master’s degree, but I feel like all of my peers are continuing school and I would, quite frankly, feel stupid if I were the only one without a graduate degree. Should social pressure lead me to obtain more education, or should I try to find my way in the professional world? -- Needing More, New York City

DEAR NEEDING MORE: While peer pressure is real and can cause a tremendous amount of concern, you cannot succumb to it as you plan your life’s steps. You must look at your career path and learn everything you can about how people excel. If it is true that work experience is king in your industry, then get to work. There will always be time to go back for a graduate degree should you need to have one.

If you find yourself having to defend your decision, consider this fantastic. You should be comfortable explaining why you have made the choices that you have. You should be as at ease telling your family as sharing the news with your friends or colleagues. So practice. You will become better at it, and better at your work the more you claim it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I graduated from high school years ago, and sadly, I did not keep in touch with any of the teachers who had a big impact on my future. I have also moved out of the town I went to high school in, so I haven’t stepped foot in the school in years. Is it still appropriate to reach out to them and try to meet up with them? I will be going home for the summer, and I thought it might be nice to do. -- Years Later, Pittsburgh

DEAR YEARS LATER: I vote for reaching out to these former teachers. Chances are, they will be thrilled to hear from you and to learn what you are doing with your life these days. Typically, only a few students return to their high schools to stay in touch with their teachers. The ones who do are greatly appreciated. As you know, the job of a teacher is to prepare a student with key tools to live an effective and inspired life. If you feel that you benefited from the interactions and lessons you received from your high school teachers, by all means go back and look for them. Depending on when you left, some teachers may still be there. Others could already be retired. Go to the principal’s office to do some research. You may receive help locating retired teachers.

Even more, write a letter to the principal outlining the value of each of your cherished teachers, adding how the high school in general helped to form the adult you have become. This type of sincere endorsement is extremely helpful for schools. It is proof that the work the school is doing is effective. Go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is getting remarried in a few weeks, and she has turned into a total bridezilla! My sister has been at her wit’s end with her while I just try to maintain some peace in the family. I have been feeling myself burning out and have been constantly sick. My mother is asking way too much of us as she plans this fairy-tale wedding. I want her to be happy, but it’s wearing on me. Should I sacrifice my health right now to keep the wedding flowing smoothly? -- Health Vs. Happiness, Milwaukee

DEAR HEALTH VS. HAPPINESS: Do not compromise your health. Speak up. Schedule a meeting with your mother, and ask her to focus. Let her know how much you want her to be happy as she plans to usher in this marriage. Make it clear, though, that you are overextended. Tell her about the various illnesses that you have been battling. Explain that you no longer have time to take care of your responsibilities and, at the same time, respond to her requests. Draw the line. Give her a maximum number of hours that you can work on her wedding per week. Then actually stop working after that time is up. You can also recommend that she hire a wedding planner to help with the final details. She may get mad, but if you really do stop when you need to stop, she will have to figure out another plan.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been speaking to a man through a dating website. We have our first date scheduled, but I am nervous because I used slightly outdated photos of myself for my profile. Should I break this to him through the online messenger, or just show up and hope he accepts me for who I am? I heard that everyone lies on the dating websites, so I figured he is a tad older than his photos as well. -- Online to Real World, Chicago

DEAR ONLINE TO REAL WORLD: Here’s the question: How different are you from your photo? I ask because often people have photos that are 10 to 15 years old, when they felt at their prime. If you look significantly different, confess now.

I know someone who did not tell the truth and met a man on a cruise. She recognized him as she walked toward him. He did not recognize her. She was probably about 100 pounds bigger than the high school photo she had sent. He felt duped and didn’t talk to her for the entire cruise. She was devastated. While the man’s behavior was extreme, her omission was also dramatic.

The best thing you can do is to give this man a better idea of how you look, either verbally or by sending along a photo. You should also ask him if his photo is updated. It’s an effective way of breaking the ice and leading to a human interaction. If he shies away after seeing you, consider it your gain. You will have disconnected from him before getting too close.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)