DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends, "Emily," used to be an alcoholic and a drug addict. Now, she is completely sober. I am very happy for her, but she insists on going to bars with everybody and doesn’t like it when people call attention to her sobriety. Should I tell others to stop buying shots for Emily or offering her sips of their drinks? I think spreading the word to our immediate friends might help Emily feel more comfortable. -- Sober in a Bar, Newark, New Jersey
DEAR SOBER IN A BAR: One of the things that is taught in programs like Alcoholics Anonymous is to be wary of people, places and things that could serve as a trigger to a relapse. Your friend Emily is playing with fire by hanging out in bars with people who are actively drinking. It is not up to you to share her personal business, though. It is her responsibility to tell others of her sobriety.
Speak to Emily privately and express your sincere concern that her decision to hang out at bars with friends seems reckless and unsafe. You can also stop inviting her to go with you when you join others in bars. What you cannot do is control her actions.