DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed one of my friends acting off and not herself lately. She has lost over 15 pounds in the last two months and is always crying. My friends and I have been worried and do not know how to approach her because she is so sensitive and does not listen to anything we say. Should we say something to her parents? Or how do you suggest we approach her directly? -- Worried Friend, Phoenix

DEAR WORRIED FRIEND: You have every reason to be worried about your friend’s well-being. It is not normal for a person to lose so much weight so quickly, nor to be so consistently emotional. Before going to her parents, try talking to your friend. You can say upfront how much you care about her and want her to be happy and healthy. Tell her you have noticed that she cries a lot and you are wondering if anything happened to make her sad. Be still and listen to see if she will share what’s going on.

As far as the weight goes, tread even more carefully. Invite her out to eat with you. Notice if she eats at all. Then go for it and tell her that you have noticed that she has lost a lot of weight. Ask if she is feeling OK and if she knows why she is losing so rapidly. If your friend is unwilling to discuss any of her issues and seems to be in denial, the next step is her parents.

When you go to them, try to make the meeting face-to-face. Be upfront and tell them about your worries. Explain that you know how sensitive their daughter is so you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you would feel irresponsible if you didn’t say anything to her parents.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My senior prom is coming up in a month. Usually, the guys ask the girls to prom. At our school, it is called a “promposal,” and it is a big deal. I am not the kind of girl who likes to publicize relationships; I like to keep everything private. The guy who is asking me to prom wants to make it a big deal, but I do not know how to tell him I don’t want to be promposed to without making him upset. What should I do? -- Prom Girl, Rye, New York

DEAR PROM GIRL: This is a tough situation that likely requires compromise. Your date is proud to have you go with him and wants to brag about it, which is your school's norm. He may get teased for keeping it a secret. You must tell him that you don’t love the idea of the public promposal. Do not expect him to know this. Ask him if he can make his declaration as quiet as possible because you do not like being the center of attention. Talk together about a plan that you can feel comfortable with.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: While on a flight with my small children, the man seated directly in front of us was watching a violent and provocative film. My children were looking at his screen and becoming upset. I asked him to turn off this action flick for something more appropriate, but he didn't oblige. When I called a flight attendant, she said there was nothing she could do. Was the man being rude by not changing his movie to something appropriate for everyone who could see his screen? -- Rated G, Please, Dallas

DEAR RATED G, PLEASE: The passenger seated in front of you was being insensitive rather than rude. From his perspective, he was not even seated next to you, so he likely thought he was far enough away to be separated from you and your children. Yes, it would have been thoughtful for him to turn it off, but the flight attendant was right. He was not obligated to do so.

What you should do when you travel is to bring along books, electronic devices, arts and crafts activities and anything else that is self-contained that can engage and, when necessary, distract your children from surrounding influences. You can also tell them to look away when they see images on TV or otherwise that are distasteful or too grown up. It is never too early to teach them the art of looking away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have created new technology software that benefits existing tech companies. I have begun to attend events in my girlfriend’s circle, and I constantly get asked what I do. I explain that I work in software, but this usually leads to curious questions about specifics, usually followed by an “I don’t get it.” I honestly don't want to explain software that’s taken years to develop in five minutes, but I don’t want to leave a negative impression on people I want to impress. How do I steer the conversation away from work? -- Long-Winded, Seattle

DEAR LONG-WINDED: In most social situations, people like best to talk about themselves. In order to not get bogged down in conversation that turns out to be confusing for people, fine-tune a simple statement that explains what you do, then say it and pivot to a question asking what that person does. Normally, the shift is easy because people enjoy telling their stories. You can also pivot to talking about your girlfriend.

What you will likely find is that only people who are truly curious about technology and have some basic knowledge of it will engage you in more detail about your work. In those cases, it will probably be easier for you to engage in a meaningful way because you will have some common point of entry in the conversation. Even in this situation, remember to be a good listener as this will help you to stay in the flow of the conversation more naturally.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor "Mary" lives alone and is in her 50s. She has always kept her garden in pristine condition, but I’ve been noticing her making more comments about feeling achy and not up to the challenge anymore. My son can mow lawns, and I think my daughter would benefit from some time learning from Mary. Should I offer to pay them to help Mary, or should they be doing this out of the goodness of their hearts? -- Teen Motivation, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR TEEN MOTIVATION: You need to gauge your children’s behavior to decide which approach will be most effective. For some teens, it is understood that you help your elders with whatever you can. This could include doing a bit of yardwork. Other teens can feel resentful that they have to spend their time in this way. You can choose to teach them a lesson about offering from the heart if you believe they will be kind to Mary. But if you believe they may take their anger out on her in any way, prevent that by offering them a small stipend for doing the yardwork. It can be like an allowance based on their hard work and thoughtful effort.

Talk to your teens about how helpful they can be to Mary and how grateful both you and she will be for their help. Encourage them to learn from Mary and observe her so that they can discover how they can be of support. Over time, they may grow to enjoy working in the garden with her. The lessons that will come from simply being together will be invaluable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a preschool teacher in an inner city. My student "Jayden" told me that his daddy is in jail, so he can’t celebrate Father’s Day this year. I want to create a classroom activity that all students can appreciate, but I’m not sure if it’s possible. Should I continue having everyone make the same card or take the children who don’t have their fathers in their lives aside and have them make an appreciation card for a parental figure? -- Modern Families, Chicago

DEAR MODERN FAMILIES: It is OK to acknowledge Father’s Day in your class. For Jayden, you can tell him privately that he may want to write a card to his father to send to him in prison. Chances are, his father would greatly appreciate receiving a loving communication from his son.

For the class in general, you can suggest that they make Father’s Day cards for their father or for a father figure in their life. It could be a minister, a super, a grocer, an uncle or an older sibling. Whoever it is, suggest that the person who shows them loving kindness and guidance on a regular basis would love receiving a card from them.

Alternatively, in some single-parent households, mothers take on the role of fathers, too. If you have students who say that their mothers really are superheroes in that way, suggest that they make a card for their mother to acknowledge how she does everything.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)