DEAR HARRIETTE: While on a flight with my small children, the man seated directly in front of us was watching a violent and provocative film. My children were looking at his screen and becoming upset. I asked him to turn off this action flick for something more appropriate, but he didn't oblige. When I called a flight attendant, she said there was nothing she could do. Was the man being rude by not changing his movie to something appropriate for everyone who could see his screen? -- Rated G, Please, Dallas

DEAR RATED G, PLEASE: The passenger seated in front of you was being insensitive rather than rude. From his perspective, he was not even seated next to you, so he likely thought he was far enough away to be separated from you and your children. Yes, it would have been thoughtful for him to turn it off, but the flight attendant was right. He was not obligated to do so.

What you should do when you travel is to bring along books, electronic devices, arts and crafts activities and anything else that is self-contained that can engage and, when necessary, distract your children from surrounding influences. You can also tell them to look away when they see images on TV or otherwise that are distasteful or too grown up. It is never too early to teach them the art of looking away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have created new technology software that benefits existing tech companies. I have begun to attend events in my girlfriend’s circle, and I constantly get asked what I do. I explain that I work in software, but this usually leads to curious questions about specifics, usually followed by an “I don’t get it.” I honestly don't want to explain software that’s taken years to develop in five minutes, but I don’t want to leave a negative impression on people I want to impress. How do I steer the conversation away from work? -- Long-Winded, Seattle

DEAR LONG-WINDED: In most social situations, people like best to talk about themselves. In order to not get bogged down in conversation that turns out to be confusing for people, fine-tune a simple statement that explains what you do, then say it and pivot to a question asking what that person does. Normally, the shift is easy because people enjoy telling their stories. You can also pivot to talking about your girlfriend.

What you will likely find is that only people who are truly curious about technology and have some basic knowledge of it will engage you in more detail about your work. In those cases, it will probably be easier for you to engage in a meaningful way because you will have some common point of entry in the conversation. Even in this situation, remember to be a good listener as this will help you to stay in the flow of the conversation more naturally.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor "Mary" lives alone and is in her 50s. She has always kept her garden in pristine condition, but I’ve been noticing her making more comments about feeling achy and not up to the challenge anymore. My son can mow lawns, and I think my daughter would benefit from some time learning from Mary. Should I offer to pay them to help Mary, or should they be doing this out of the goodness of their hearts? -- Teen Motivation, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR TEEN MOTIVATION: You need to gauge your children’s behavior to decide which approach will be most effective. For some teens, it is understood that you help your elders with whatever you can. This could include doing a bit of yardwork. Other teens can feel resentful that they have to spend their time in this way. You can choose to teach them a lesson about offering from the heart if you believe they will be kind to Mary. But if you believe they may take their anger out on her in any way, prevent that by offering them a small stipend for doing the yardwork. It can be like an allowance based on their hard work and thoughtful effort.

Talk to your teens about how helpful they can be to Mary and how grateful both you and she will be for their help. Encourage them to learn from Mary and observe her so that they can discover how they can be of support. Over time, they may grow to enjoy working in the garden with her. The lessons that will come from simply being together will be invaluable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a preschool teacher in an inner city. My student "Jayden" told me that his daddy is in jail, so he can’t celebrate Father’s Day this year. I want to create a classroom activity that all students can appreciate, but I’m not sure if it’s possible. Should I continue having everyone make the same card or take the children who don’t have their fathers in their lives aside and have them make an appreciation card for a parental figure? -- Modern Families, Chicago

DEAR MODERN FAMILIES: It is OK to acknowledge Father’s Day in your class. For Jayden, you can tell him privately that he may want to write a card to his father to send to him in prison. Chances are, his father would greatly appreciate receiving a loving communication from his son.

For the class in general, you can suggest that they make Father’s Day cards for their father or for a father figure in their life. It could be a minister, a super, a grocer, an uncle or an older sibling. Whoever it is, suggest that the person who shows them loving kindness and guidance on a regular basis would love receiving a card from them.

Alternatively, in some single-parent households, mothers take on the role of fathers, too. If you have students who say that their mothers really are superheroes in that way, suggest that they make a card for their mother to acknowledge how she does everything.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Kim" has been having a rough time recently. She is going through a lot, but she's lashing out at me due to stress. I understand she has a lot on her plate (a critically ill parent, children in trouble at school and a stressful job), but this has been months of me feeling emotionally drained every time she calls me to vent or chastise me for not doing a favor properly for her, like unloading the dishwasher. When can I reach my boiling point? I feel bad for her, but I need to preserve my sanity. -- Emotional Crutch, South Bend, Indiana

DEAR EMOTIONAL CRUTCH: You have every right to speak up for yourself right now. You are Kim’s friend. You are not her therapist. You should schedule a time to see Kim so that you can speak face-to-face. Tell her how sorry you are that she is going through so much difficulty right now. Make it clear to her how much you love her and wish that her load would not be so hard to bear. Then tell her that you also forgive her for being unkind, harsh or unreasonable in her interactions with you, but you need her to know you cannot handle her intense ways of communicating with you anymore. It is wearing you down. Suggest that she see a mental health professional who can give her strategies for handling her life’s challenges. Let her know that her difficulties right now are too much for you to manage. Be clear that you are not abandoning her; you will continue to support her as you are able, but you believe she needs professional help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to become an empty nester. I spent the past 20 years taking care of my children, and now I have only a few months left with children at home. I am completely unsure about how I am going to react. Most of my friends work at least part time, but I haven’t had a job in decades. Should I attempt to get into the workforce? Should I try to find a new passion? My husband has not been helpful during this time. -- Every Chick Gone, Mamaroneck, New York

DEAR EVERY CHICK GONE: A good friend of mine gave me a piece of advice when my daughter was born: namely to put my husband first before my child. "Why?" I exclaimed, rather shocked. “Because one day your child will leave, and all you will have is each other.” That was great advice.

Rather than bemoan what will happen when your children are gone, begin to cultivate bonding activities with your husband. Reinstate date night once a week. Plan fun activities that you both enjoy, and rekindle the bond between the two of you.

Personally, I think it might be perfect to take a class to learn something that interests you greatly but that you haven’t taken the time to consider. You can also volunteer for a charity or hospital where you give your time and resources to others in need.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)