DEAR HARRIETTE: I have just purchased my first car ever. Although it is a used car, it is in immaculate condition, and I hope to keep it this way for a long time. Many of my friends have had their cars purchased for them by their parents, and they don't respect their vehicles -- or mine. I am sick of dirty shoes being put up on my dash and food being dropped onto the seats. How can I make rules that will be enforced? I feel like a parent in my own car. -- Clean Car, Detroit

DEAR CLEAN CAR: Teaching others to respect your property is not always an easy job. Beware that it may cost you some friends, and it might even earn you an unfavorable nickname. As you put it, having to be a parent in your own car may not be the most fun, but it is the only way to lay down the law and have your friends honor it.

So what should you do? Let your friends know they can ride in your car only if they abide by your rules. Outline the rules -- from no food to no feet on the dash. Include no alcohol and anything else you have seen them do that may bother you. If they balk or do not honor your wishes, simply do not offer them a ride anymore.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am beginning to worry about my husband's mental health. He has a very stressful job and is now logging more and more hours to save for retirement. We have more than enough to live on comfortably, so I am not sure where this panic is coming from. Every time I try to bring up his 15-hour workdays, he begins to repeat how he's only trying to help the family. I know he is actually spending this time working because he is being paid overtime. How do I get to the root of this busy-bee syndrome? -- Ready for Retirement, Atlanta

DEAR READY FOR RETIREMENT: When was the last time your husband had a physical examination? It might be time for a complete checkup to allay any hidden fears he or you may have. It may also help to identify any issues he may have around anxiety. Sometimes a person’s physical state can affect his actions.

Beyond that, try to schedule a week off with your husband where you do something quiet together. It could be a staycation -- a week you spend at home relaxing with each other, talking about life, enjoying your city and not thinking about work. It could also be a trip to a place you both have always wanted to visit. Consider it a trip where you are trying out what retirement might look and feel like. Begin to talk about what you would like to do in retirement and how you might execute your plans. Making the transition to retirement a concrete idea may take away some of the angst regarding whether you will have enough money to enjoy this upcoming time in your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a larger woman who typically wears an XL to XXL. Sometimes friends will express that they enjoy my outfit and want to borrow a top or skirt. Although I am flattered, these girls are twigs! There is no way my clothing could look like anything but a potato sack on them.

How can I react when my friends ask to borrow my clothes? I don't want to seem upset about my size, but there is no way I can share clothes with these size 2 ladies. -- XS to XL, Cincinnati

DEAR XS TO XL: Consider it a positive that your friends appreciate your style and want to borrow your clothes! That means you clearly have a look that they admire.

You have a couple of options on how to react when your thinner friends want to borrow your clothes. You can thank them for the compliment and lightheartedly point out that the garment in question would not fit them. You can also let them try on the garment. Occasionally, loose-fitting tops on lean bodies do look good, either when they are just flowing or belted. You may be surprised to learn that one or more of your clothing items could look great on one of your size 2 friends. As long as you are comfortable letting your friends play dress-up in your clothes, it can’t hurt to let them try on their favorite items.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After applying to over a dozen jobs for this summer, I have heard nothing -- not even a rejection. I have started calling places where I've applied to ask them if they've received my application. While I'm usually met with a startled employee, I believe that I am owed at least a rejection from a company. Is this not the case anymore? It's been a while since I've been on the job hunt. -- New Playing Field, Boston

DEAR NEW PLAYING FIELD: A form letter -- at the very least -- remains the protocol that a job applicant should be able to hope to receive. The reality is that there are so many applicants these days for virtually every available position that employers often do become overwhelmed and, in turn, less gracious.

Sorting through job applications to find the right fit for the position in question and discarding the rest has become the norm for many companies. Cold, but true in many cases.

What you did, calling to check on the status of your application, is a great idea. I recommend that you continue to place calls to the businesses where you applied. With an upbeat attitude, call and state that you are following up and are hopeful that the job for which you applied is still available. Launch into clear reasons why you believe you would be perfect for the job. Point out that you can imagine that they have been inundated with applications, and you want to make sure that they got a chance to see yours. Ask if you can resend it directly to whomever you reach on the phone. Your proactive approach may help to land you a job after all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a part of a chat group for a year or so. We originally bonded from our love of playing video games, but we have now turned into a global support system for each other. We have spoken through video chats, and I have found all of these people on social media, so I know I am not being "catfished." I want to organize our first meetup in person. Would it be crazy to invite them to stay at my place? I don't have the funds for an international flight, so I figured I'd be doing my part by allowing them to stay in my house. -- Online Family, West Palm Beach, Florida

DEAR ONLINE FAMILY: Given that this is a group of people -- and not just one -- chances are that you will be safe if they all descend upon your home. What could easily be awkward, though, is managing expectations and expenses. Should you decide to suggest this idea, why not float it first to see who is interested?

If there is substantial interest, lay the ground rules in writing to the group. Without changing the energy of your communications, let them know that you are happy to have everybody stay at your house if everyone agrees to pitch in with particular responsibilities, including chipping in for food (and cooking) and keeping things tidy. Make your list as thorough as you deem important, and only move forward if several people agree to come. A one-on-one meetup could be awkward and unsafe.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife has gone completely bananas baby-proofing our home. She is 8 months pregnant and snaps at me if I don't replace the plastic outlet cover the second I am done using power. Also, I don't always close the gate on the stairs since we do not yet have a child. She thinks these habits of mine will carry over when we have a child, but I think she is overreacting. How can I get her to realize we have months before we seriously have to worry about a mobile baby? There's Time, Pittsburgh

DEAR THERE'S TIME: Beware the intensity of a pregnant woman's demands. I say that having been pregnant myself. The mothering instinct kicks in, and for some women it becomes all about safety. And dare I say, for some of us, a certain skepticism arises as to whether anyone, including Daddy, can possibly keep the child safe enough.

You are dealing with a woman who sounds like she is living somewhere in that state of mind, so tread lightly. Do your best to try to remember to close the gate and cover the outlet. These are simple yet important requests. When, in your estimation, your wife goes too far, ask her to reel it in a bit. Point out that the baby will not crawl, or even sit up for that matter, for a long while after it is born.

Promise to work together with your wife to protect your child. And then, remember to do it. Don't slack. Do pay attention -- all the time. It is actually extremely hard to do, by the way, which is why your wife wants you to practice now.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)