DEAR HARRIETTE: At work, we were completing a group exercise on how to respond to negative customer emails. I was working with "Matt," who read our sample email and immediately began talking about how our client was a man. I asked him why he made this quick judgment, and he said that the email was "far too assertive and reasonable" to have been from a woman. I just stared at him in shock. Is it worth my time to explain to Matt that those are sexist stereotypes, or should I just wait for karma to hopefully come around? -- Mars and Venus, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR MARS AND VENUS: You should have said something in the moment, but it is true that many people go dumbfounded when they hear rude comments. It is not too late to speak up, and you absolutely should say something. Tell your colleague how disturbing you thought his comments were. Be sure to point out why. Do not assume that he understands. There's a good chance he thought he was being perceptive.

Go one step further as well. Tell the organizer of the sensitivity session about how Matt reacted to the email that you reviewed. Make it clear that you felt Matt's words were stereotypical and that another layer of sensitivity training seems to be necessary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a nurse at a hospital in a nearby city. I typically work 12-hour shifts for four days and then have four days off. My children are about to be in school, meaning I will have to work around their schedule as well as my own to spend quality time with them. I have been considering changing my job to a doctor's office or someplace similar where the hours are much more regular.

How can I bring this up to my husband? He has altered his entire work schedule around mine, and I don't want to start a war because of a changing job. -- Daytime Hours, Dayton, Ohio

DEAR DAYTIME HOURS: Think positively and present your idea as a solution to a potentially challenging situation. Point out that it's near time for the children to be in school, which will change the family dynamic considerably. Tell your husband you have been thinking about a solution to ensure that they are well tended and that both of you are able to manage your work and family time. With this in mind, you think it's a good idea to look for a job with a more regimented schedule. Ask him his thoughts about it. What may be helpful is if you do not act like it's a done deal; instead, you create space for the two of you to talk about it.

Learn your husband's opinion about this next phase of your lives. Do your best to keep a calm head and to give space for him to participate. It's so easy to make a unilateral decision with the intention of making things easier, but collaborative decisions go a long way toward keeping the peace and invoking the joy!

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been faced with the harrowing decision of taking my great-uncle off of life support. He has no other living and willing relatives to take care of him, so I am essentially making this decision on my own. Nobody has taken any interest in either direction, but there is a slim chance of him making it out of his coma. He is 92 already, and I have no idea what I want to do.

I do not want to kill him, but I would feel incredibly guilty keeping him alive if all he wants to do is die. Should I force family to get involved so I don't bear the brunt of this decision alone? -- All Alone, Dallas

DEAR ALL ALONE: First, be clear about what your great-uncle's desires are. Did he tell you he is ready to die? If you know this for a fact, then you already know what you should do because he has asked you to take care of him.

You also need to be clear that you will not be killing your uncle if you take him off life support. Artificially keeping someone alive via a machine is an amazing option in the world of modern medicine, but it is an unnatural reality. Also, sometimes people do regain consciousness when they are in a coma and life support is removed.

Talk to your great-uncle's doctors to learn what they believe his prognosis will be. Then definitely speak to your family members to let them know what the doctors have said. While they may not be willing to make a decision, they should be willing to listen to whatever decision you have made.

Do yourself a favor and find out if your great-uncle has a will and whether his papers are in order. It appears your next steps will be handling his affairs upon his eventual passing. That takes a lot of effort and can be emotionally draining. Good luck.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 77-year-old woman who is losing her mobility. I walk with a cane now, and I feel terrible for whoever has to walk alongside me because I remember how frustrated I would get with slow walkers when I was younger.

I want to keep up with my grandchildren and still be seen as the fun grandma. My son tells me if I get a mobility scooter it will be the death of my ability to walk since I won't be doing much of it. Should I take this next step, or will I be losing too much independence by not exercising my legs anymore? -- Hot Wheels, Atlanta

DEAR HOT WHEELS: Talk to your doctor about recommendations for mobility. You may want to get physical therapy to strengthen your body. The reality, though, is that many older people move more slowly than their grandchildren. You must figure out a pace with your family that works for everyone. Choose activities that are fun but not super active. You may also want to use a wheelchair or scooter only for particular activities, like visiting a museum, walking in the park or other things that require prolonged walking. Limited use shouldn't weaken your body.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has been growing out his hair recently. I don't mind long hair as long as it is well-kept, but his high school has contacted me saying he is breaching the rules of the dress code by having hair longer than shoulder-length. My son is not confrontational, but he wants to keep his hair. Should I fight the school or have "Kyle" succumb to the rules? -- Long Hair Don't Care, Bedford, Mississippi

DEAR LONG HAIR DON’T CARE: It is unlikely that you can get your son’s school to change the rules around hair. This does not necessarily mean that your son has to cut his hair, though. Get creative. Many men wear their hair in buns these days. This is a perfect solution for him when he is at school. The so-called “man bun” is so popular it just got added to the dictionary.

Have your son agree that he will always wear his hair in a bun that does not fall out when he is at school. In the evenings, on weekends and whenever he is not at school, let him know he should feel free to wear it however he likes. If the school balks at the bun, you and your son should point out that you are following the rules. Ask them to respect that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex and I co-parent our children, and we constantly get questioned by our family about the nature of our relationship. We have not been together for over two years, but our friendly discourse always causes my siblings to ask me if "Dale" and I are back together. I could see us reuniting one day, but for now I know we do better apart.

Does everyone deserve to know the details of our relationship? We are rocky enough as it is without family getting involved. -- Tired of Rumors, Cincinnati

DEAR TIRED OF RUMORS: Talk to Dale about how you want to handle the questions from family and friends. Agree on a strategy that protects your children and each other, and stick to that. I would recommend that you agree not to talk about your personal relationship with them at all. When they ask if you are getting back together, push back and tell them that what you are doing is parenting your children. You both are mature adults who love your children unconditionally, and you have committed to figuring out how to care for them so that they will be happy and healthy.

When people make comments about how well you two look together or how they can envision you being a couple again, you can thank them for their positive comments and leave it at that. Do not feel the need to explain yourself or your rapport with your ex. Should the day come that the two of you decide to test the waters again, do so discreetly until you are sure of what you want to do. Keeping folks out of your business may create space to rekindle something very special.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)