DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the mother of a boy and a girl who are close in age. During holidays, I find that I receive pretty sexist toys for my children from my family. For example, "Josh" will receive cars and toy guns, while "Alaina" receives kitchen sets and dolls. Their Easter baskets were even gendered to make sure a girl does not receive blue candy!

How can I address this issue with my family? We are grateful, but I just don’t want my children to absorb these gender stereotypes. -- Pink Is for Everyone, Baltimore

DEAR PINK IS FOR EVERYONE: You have to speak up in order for your family members and friends to know where you stand on gifts. First, though, talk to your children to see what kinds of gifts they would appreciate most. Speak to them individually so that each child feels free to tell the truth. Then, when you communicate with loved ones, you can share your general concern about gender bias with the gifts they have been giving, and then add specifics about what your children have said they like.

You should also know that gender bias is often unconscious. Our culture has prescribed that boys and girls should be attracted to certain things and activities for generations. It may not be easy for your loved ones to change. What is most important is that you teach your children to feel comfortable expressing themselves as the unique human beings they are, even if their interests do not fall along traditional gender lines.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a restaurant with counter service only. In my short weeks working here, my manager has begun to comment on my looks and put his hands on my waist. I complain about this to my friends, who are also 18, and they tell me to quit. I need the money, but can’t stand the harassment. Also, part of me wants to make sure he won’t harass other girls who work at this restaurant. Should I go on a quest for justice, or just quit and try to find a new job? -- Paws Off, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR PAWS OFF: This is an unfortunate and common occurrence in the workforce, particularly for young people. Your boss’s behavior is inappropriate and unlawful. Sadly, there is a chance that you could lose your job if you speak up. But this is one of those times that your voice is incredibly important.

The next time your boss touches you, ask him not to do that again. Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable for him to make comments about your appearance and, more, to touch you inappropriately. Point out that you thought this would be a great job for you and you would like to stay working there, but you do not think it is fair for him to treat you in this manner.

Chances are, your boss will be surprised. He is likely banking on your youth being a deterrent to you being able to speak up for yourself. I also recommend that you look for another job. You may never feel completely comfortable there, given your boss’s proclivities. Unless you are prepared to sue and go the distance with him in court, make a plan for departing, but not without letting him know how you feel.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: After being told to start a blog by multiple friends and family members, I took the plunge. Although I felt like I had a lot of support, nobody is reading or commenting on my posts. I thought I could’ve turned myself into a brand, and now I’m flopping. Should I continue striving for this dream or cut the cord five months in? -- Blogging Is Hard, Milwaukee

DEAR BLOGGING IS HARD: It is time for you to regroup and think about what you really want. If you feel that the content of your blog is important to you and might be interesting to others, devote more time to developing it.

There are two elements needed to make your blog successful: consistently compelling content and expansive marketing. Your blog will never be successful simply because of support from your friends and family. You have to reach out to other communities of people online and push it to them. Learn about how to market to others, how to use key words effectively and how to develop an overall strategy for success. Don’t give up yet, though. You have only just begun.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Michael" plays in a band on the weekends. He plays mainly at small bars around town, and it seems to make him happy. I love that he has kept his skills and passion for music; however, he has put me in an awkward situation more than once at my home. He will bring over his guitar unannounced and insist on playing something new for everyone. I understand that this is nice around a campfire, or once in a while (when planned), but Michael needs to start leaving his guitar at home. How do I tell Michael that he is always welcome, but his instrument is not? -- DON’T Play That Funky Music, Seattle

DEAR DON’T PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC: You have to set ground rules with your friend. Invite him to come to your home, and sit down to talk with him. Tell him how proud you are that he has kept up his interest in music. Then, tell him that you need him to understand that it is not OK for him to bring his guitar every time he pops by, or to start an impromptu concert without your blessing. Be direct with him. Let him know that when he comes over unplanned and starts playing, it sometimes disrupts the flow of whatever was previously occurring in your home. Make it clear that he has to stop hijacking your living room.

Know that this may hurt his feelings. You can address that pre-emptively. Tell him your intention is not to hurt him or to shut him out. Point out that he can play for you sometimes -- when planned -- but that it has to happen on your terms, not his.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a sophomore in college, and I feel like I’m still getting tested by my peers. This past April Fools' Day, my friends dragged my mattress out onto the street, filled my blow-dryer with baby powder and put mayonnaise in my shoes. I enjoy a good prank, but I seriously believe this went too far. My shoes are ruined, my blow-dryer is not back to normal and I had to haul my mattress back upstairs all alone. Do I have the right to be upset, or should I ease up in the spirit of the holiday? -- Too Much, Atlanta

DEAR TOO MUCH: You have every right to be upset by your friends’ behavior. Indeed, these are not the kind of friends you really want -- meaning people who would go to such lengths to embarrass you and damage your property. You should absolutely speak up and let them know, in no equivocal terms, that you think they went too far and that you do not appreciate it.

Further, you have to think about how they behave normally. College is the time when you must make choices about how you spend your time, and with whom. I recommend that you reconsider these friends to determine how much positive engagement you have with them and whether you honestly think they are worth your time.

Extricating yourself from friendships isn’t easy, no matter how old you are. Evaluate your own behavior and that of your friends and peers. What do you value, and who shares your values? Based upon your answers, edit your friend group to those who would most likely choose to treat you with respect, even when they are teasing you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my biggest pet peeves is when somebody plays their music out loud instead of using headphones. When you are on the bus or subway, this is outrageous. I feel like a hostage having to listen to people blasting their music, making a tinny loud sound that nobody wants to hear, even if I happen to like the song. I believe it is rude to assume everyone around you wants to listen to your music or video selection. Is it rude to play your music out loud, or is this just my belief? I have always found it incredibly annoying. -- Bad DJ, New York City

DEAR BAD DJ: Preach! Seriously, it is invasive for someone to play music in public contained spaces without using earphones. I will take this one step further, too: Depending upon your earphones, even when you are wearing them, if they are not soundproof, people around you can still hear whatever you are playing -- and you may very well not realize it.

To all of you who are reading who listen to music in public, pay close attention to figure out if others can hear you. Obviously, you should wear headphones or ear buds, but beyond that, do a sound check to determine if your sound system is doing its job.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)