DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday just passed, and my husband got me a “pricey” perfume that I wanted. I use quotations because upon opening it, I saw that it was a knockoff brand. I don’t think he knows this perfume is not the one I wanted at all because the outside packaging was nearly identical. Should I tell him or just throw the fake perfume out, hoping he won’t notice? -- Fake Gift, Real Sentiment, Detroit

DEAR FAKE GIFT, REAL SENTIMENT: Happy belated birthday! Thank goodness you asked before acting! In this case, it really is the thought that counts. Your husband went out of his way to buy you want you wanted. He may have gone to a place where many fragrances are sold -- at a discount. It is unlikely that he knew he was buying a phony fragrance. I suggest that you suck it up and just keep the fragrance without pointing out the mistake.

If, however, he pays attention to see if you use the fragrance -- and you don’t like its aroma -- you will have to come clean and let him know how much you appreciate his intention, but he got duped. If he buys you fragrance again and it’s a knockoff, you definitely have to tell him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I accidentally emailed a client from my personal email, which sports a pretty embarrassing nickname as the username. I know this was a rookie mistake, and I plan to screen all of my emails before doing that again; however, I don’t know if I should apologize for how unprofessional it was for me to email the client from this email.

Should I apologize or ignore this mistake? I thought I should just move on, but my wife thinks I should apologize. -- You’ve Got Mail, Portland, Oregon

DEAR YOU’VE GOT MAIL: I’m with your wife on this one. If your client received the email, he definitely saw the email address. If he kept the email, that address will show up time and again whenever he goes back to see that communication.

Get in front of this by telling him that you are terribly sorry that you sent a communication to him via this email. Admit that you pushed “send” too quickly, and it attached to an old personal email account. You should be the first one to laugh at yourself and your silly nickname. Drawing your client on board in a way that bonds the two of you is a good idea. Just do not belabor the point. Address it and move on.

By the way, say this to your client in person or via phone call. Do not create an email trail by writing it down. Just tell him that you are sorry for the misfire, and it won’t happen again. The end.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate’s boyfriend spends more time at our home than at his own. He sleeps over, cooks, showers and does laundry here. Since he uses our resources, I proposed asking “Jake” to contribute to bills, which we split evenly. My roommate freaked out and refused to even acknowledge that I had the right to ask. How else could I have started the conversation? -- Up Front, Miami

DEAR UP FRONT: Generally, no good comes out of these situations, I’m sorry to say. Of course the boyfriend should share the costs, but getting your roommate to put her foot down on that is usually a losing battle. The one time that you can get traction on such a situation is if the landlord steps in and says that anyone living in the apartment for an extended period of time must pay. But that works only if you have something written into your contract to that point, or if your landlord and you have enough muscle to guilt the boyfriend out. Otherwise, what often happens is that hurt feelings come to a boiling point and somebody moves. So, get ready.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My landlord has been walking into my house unannounced. Being a 20-year-old woman, this unnerves me, and I don't know how to approach my landlord about this behavior. He is also a police officer, so I feel stuck on how to react to him. These visits are to remind us of bills and to not have parties in the home, but a text would suffice. How do I get my landlord to respect my rights as a renter? -- Closed Door, Rochester, New York

DEAR CLOSED DOOR: You have the right to be in your apartment by yourself without your landlord coming in. Period. It will take a bit of courage for you to address your landlord, but you must do it. For starters, speak to him and let him know that it makes you uncomfortable that he comes into your space unannounced. Ask him to stop.

Secondly, hire a locksmith. Yes, you should spend $100 or so to get an additional lock put on your door. Your landlord may not appreciate this, so don’t tell him. Unless there is a clear stipulation in your contract about locks, you absolutely can do this. Do your best to organize the locksmith at an hour when your landlord is not likely to be home, to cut down on any friction that may come. Get a top lock added to your door. When he questions you about it, remind him that you felt uneasy with him entering your apartment without permission. Tell him that it works much better for you to communicate with him by phone, text or email. Ask him to respect your privacy by engaging you in one of these ways. It will be very important for you to follow his house rules after this, because he will likely feel embarrassed and angry about your assertive stance. Go for it, and document his behavior, too!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have picked up the hobby of stand-up paddle boarding. I love waking up to watch the sunrise and get out on the water. My stepfather, in an attempt to bond with me, surprised me by saying he has purchased a paddleboard for himself. This is a big investment, and the worst part is that I use paddle boarding as my alone time -- not a time to talk about how useful accounting is in life.

How can I politely tell my stepfather that I can give him a lesson, but from then on, he’s on his own? -- Paddling Away, Ocean City, Maryland

DEAR PADDLING AWAY: You need to be honest and gentle with your stepfather. You must have been talking about your new hobby to the point that he considered it could be a way to connect with you. Now you have to manage that sharing of information.

It would be very kind of you to teach your stepfather how to paddle board. During your lessons, you can slip in comments about the serenity of the experience, what you like to do most when you are balancing on the water and how important it is to you to experience silence during this time of peace and quiet. Then watch to see how well your stepfather can fall into your pacing. If it works comfortably, you might tell him that you would like to share the experience with him on occasion, but mainly this is your meditation time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend, who is an artist, gifted me a very large painting. This painting is of an ugly fish, and it's 6 feet across. I like to keep my walls bare, so she knows I have the space to hang it. Honestly, I think this could traumatize guests and does not suit me at all.

Do I have to hang this painting? Do I have the obligation to tell her why I won’t display it? -- From the HeART, San Diego

DEAR FROM THE HEART: Ah, you are entering tough territory. If your friend visits your home, which it sounds like she does, you should come clean. Thank her for her generosity, and then admit that you do not hang art on your walls. You like a clean palate; therefore, you really cannot accept her gift. Point out that you would feel terrible storing it away when, clearly, it is something that she spent time and creativity making. If she suggests leaning it against the wall or otherwise presses for you to try it out -- “Hey, you might like art on your walls after all!” -- you will have to confess that while you see her creativity, you are a little frightened by the fish and do not feel comfortable living with it in your space. Your friend is an artist. While her feelings may be hurt, she will have to understand that not everybody is going to fall in love with her work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)