DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a small town and have noticed my ex-girlfriend's car driving around outside my house more than usual. When we broke up, she slashed my tires and keyed my car, so I don't want to put myself at risk of an outburst from her, but I want to stop feeling so uneasy knowing she is rolling my home. I don't think the police should get involved, but I don't know how she'd react if I confronted her about her behavior. How do I get her to stop looping around my home? -- Repeat Sightings, Near Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR REPEAT SIGHTINGS: Unfortunately, the only real measure you have is to report your ex-girlfriend's behavior to the police. It is unlikely that she will be arrested since she isn't doing anything illegal right now, but it will set a precedent. You can tell the police about what your ex did upon your breakup. Be specific and unemotional. Ask the authorities for advice on what to do to protect yourself from your ex now. Meanwhile, keep your distance.

If you have occasion to communicate with her, apologize for whatever you did to hurt her. Invite her to agree to move on, just as you are doing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My young adult children have been slyly drinking at family events recently. They are 20-year-old twins, so they have not reached the legal drinking age. I caught my son holding a beer in the kitchen and immediately made him pour it down the drain. He does not even know his own limits!

Is my son being disrespectful by drinking in my home? I think so; however, my wife thinks it is safer that he drinks with us to figure out how he handles his liquor. -- Family Not Booze, Dallas

DEAR FAMILY NOT BOOZE: You probably already know that it is common for teenagers to drink without their parents' permission. Your children are almost of-age. While I do not condone underage drinking, I will say that it is likely that if they were drinking in your home, there's a good chance they have been drinking in other places, too.

Do your best to have a nonjudgmental conversation with your kids about their choices. Remind them of the reasons you do not recommend that they drink. At the same time, acknowledge how common it is for people their age. Ask them how often they drink. Go slowly with this conversation, as it is usually difficult for young people to admit their illicit behavior, especially to their parents.

I cannot recommend that you let your children drink at home. I can tell you that many families do make that choice so that they can watch their children, know that they are not driving and help them to learn to make smart decisions. If you do allow them to drink at home, do not let them have parties with their friends with alcohol. You will be liable if anything happens to them, from alcohol poisoning to drunk driving.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I participated in an amateur filmmaking competition with a group of four, and we won it. I am very proud of myself and the hefty cash prize. The money has not been split up yet, and two of the members believe that I should get the largest sum because I did all of the shooting and editing. The third, "Steve," thinks that it should all be split evenly. Steve barely did any work on this film, but he supplied the camera. How should we end up splitting the money? -- Cut!, Denver

DEAR CUT!: Congratulations on your award! This is very exciting. Your biggest challenge is that you did not discuss the division of the prize before winning it. Now, it's a question of group consensus and morals. What I can tell you is that you will never feel good about how you divide the cash prize unless the group agrees on a plan. For what it's worth, you wouldn't have been able to make that film without Steve's camera, so do not diminish his contribution.

To keep peace, I would recommend an equal split. In the future, you can talk among yourselves about how you might handle such a windfall should it come your way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have made a huge mistake. I asked my friend to pose as my fake boyfriend for a social media post to make my ex-boyfriend jealous. She wore a sweatshirt with her hood up while I faced the camera hugging my "boyfriend." Now, my ex has been badgering me for information about my new boyfriend! This is not what I intended at all -- I just wanted him to see this and want to get back together with me. Should I come clean about my "boyfriend" or just lie? -- Rock and a Hard Place, Seattle

DEAR ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: What do you really want? And why did you feel the need to make your ex-boyfriend jealous in the first place? Is this relationship worth reigniting? If so, come clean and tell your ex what you did to capture his attention. From there, you can attempt to have a frank conversation with him about your desires and hopes for the future and how he could potentially be part of it. You should think long and hard about your future, though. Trying to attract the attention of a man who is extremely jealous could backfire in the long run.

So, again, I ask what do you really want? Make a list -- in writing -- of the attributes you would appreciate in a partner. What appeals to you? What turns you off? List what you want for your future. Children? Type of work? Neighborhood? Sort through all of these questions so that you can get some clarity on how you want to plan your steps. It can be hard to look beyond the moment when emotions are high, but this is the only way that you can gain perspective on whether this man fits into your vision for your life.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have fairly poor eyesight and find myself saying "hello" to people I thought I knew from a distance, only to realize that they are perfect strangers. Should I explain why I greeted them or simply let it be? My daughters beg me to stop halting strangers to explain my eyesight, but I think I owe them an explanation for the confusion. -- Fuzzy Friends, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FUZZY FRIENDS: Step one should be to make an appointment to have your eyes examined. Find out why you have poor eyesight and if there is a way to correct it. Very often, corrective glasses will give you the ability to see clearly, or at least clear enough for basic visual cues. If you have a degenerative eye disease that has permanently damaged your eyesight and made it impossible for you to see well, talk to your doctor about how you can take other steps to help people communicate with you better.

Practically speaking, it is perfectly fine for you to be friendly as you encounter other people. That includes saying "hello." What you should stop doing is believing that you know everyone you see. You can greet people, but keep it general. In this way, you have no need for an apology. If it turns out you know the person, he or she will help you to make that connection.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 30-year-old daughter trashes my profession, yet she asks me for financial support when her singing gigs don't provide her with enough money. I work in banking, and she has referred to this as "soulless work." I do feel bad that her dream is not working out for her, but at some point, she needs to stop feeling superior to me because her job requires artistic creativity. How can I get this message through to her? I fear it may be too late. -- Biting the Hand That Feeds You, Roxbury, Massachusetts

DEAR BITING THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU: It sounds like you are the one who needs to start valuing your work more. Creative types do tend to dismiss business types and vice versa, but that doesn't make it right.

I recommend that you have a sit-down with your daughter and let her know how you feel about her constant negative comments about your work. Tell her why you have chosen your field and what it means to you and your family. Speak about her career choice as well. Tell her that you respect her desire to pursue her singing, but that at this stage in her life, you need her to figure out how to take care of herself without relying on the paycheck from your "soulless work."

Don't be mean, but please do be clear. Your daughter is at the age -- even if she weren't being rude to you -- when she should be able to fend for herself. It's time for her to be like other hopeful artists. She may need to have several jobs to make ends meet. By doing so, she will learn just how hard it can be to pursue your dreams and make a living. Reality has a way of humbling us all.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)