DEAR HARRIETTE: I participated in an amateur filmmaking competition with a group of four, and we won it. I am very proud of myself and the hefty cash prize. The money has not been split up yet, and two of the members believe that I should get the largest sum because I did all of the shooting and editing. The third, "Steve," thinks that it should all be split evenly. Steve barely did any work on this film, but he supplied the camera. How should we end up splitting the money? -- Cut!, Denver

DEAR CUT!: Congratulations on your award! This is very exciting. Your biggest challenge is that you did not discuss the division of the prize before winning it. Now, it's a question of group consensus and morals. What I can tell you is that you will never feel good about how you divide the cash prize unless the group agrees on a plan. For what it's worth, you wouldn't have been able to make that film without Steve's camera, so do not diminish his contribution.

To keep peace, I would recommend an equal split. In the future, you can talk among yourselves about how you might handle such a windfall should it come your way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have made a huge mistake. I asked my friend to pose as my fake boyfriend for a social media post to make my ex-boyfriend jealous. She wore a sweatshirt with her hood up while I faced the camera hugging my "boyfriend." Now, my ex has been badgering me for information about my new boyfriend! This is not what I intended at all -- I just wanted him to see this and want to get back together with me. Should I come clean about my "boyfriend" or just lie? -- Rock and a Hard Place, Seattle

DEAR ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: What do you really want? And why did you feel the need to make your ex-boyfriend jealous in the first place? Is this relationship worth reigniting? If so, come clean and tell your ex what you did to capture his attention. From there, you can attempt to have a frank conversation with him about your desires and hopes for the future and how he could potentially be part of it. You should think long and hard about your future, though. Trying to attract the attention of a man who is extremely jealous could backfire in the long run.

So, again, I ask what do you really want? Make a list -- in writing -- of the attributes you would appreciate in a partner. What appeals to you? What turns you off? List what you want for your future. Children? Type of work? Neighborhood? Sort through all of these questions so that you can get some clarity on how you want to plan your steps. It can be hard to look beyond the moment when emotions are high, but this is the only way that you can gain perspective on whether this man fits into your vision for your life.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have fairly poor eyesight and find myself saying "hello" to people I thought I knew from a distance, only to realize that they are perfect strangers. Should I explain why I greeted them or simply let it be? My daughters beg me to stop halting strangers to explain my eyesight, but I think I owe them an explanation for the confusion. -- Fuzzy Friends, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FUZZY FRIENDS: Step one should be to make an appointment to have your eyes examined. Find out why you have poor eyesight and if there is a way to correct it. Very often, corrective glasses will give you the ability to see clearly, or at least clear enough for basic visual cues. If you have a degenerative eye disease that has permanently damaged your eyesight and made it impossible for you to see well, talk to your doctor about how you can take other steps to help people communicate with you better.

Practically speaking, it is perfectly fine for you to be friendly as you encounter other people. That includes saying "hello." What you should stop doing is believing that you know everyone you see. You can greet people, but keep it general. In this way, you have no need for an apology. If it turns out you know the person, he or she will help you to make that connection.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 30-year-old daughter trashes my profession, yet she asks me for financial support when her singing gigs don't provide her with enough money. I work in banking, and she has referred to this as "soulless work." I do feel bad that her dream is not working out for her, but at some point, she needs to stop feeling superior to me because her job requires artistic creativity. How can I get this message through to her? I fear it may be too late. -- Biting the Hand That Feeds You, Roxbury, Massachusetts

DEAR BITING THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU: It sounds like you are the one who needs to start valuing your work more. Creative types do tend to dismiss business types and vice versa, but that doesn't make it right.

I recommend that you have a sit-down with your daughter and let her know how you feel about her constant negative comments about your work. Tell her why you have chosen your field and what it means to you and your family. Speak about her career choice as well. Tell her that you respect her desire to pursue her singing, but that at this stage in her life, you need her to figure out how to take care of herself without relying on the paycheck from your "soulless work."

Don't be mean, but please do be clear. Your daughter is at the age -- even if she weren't being rude to you -- when she should be able to fend for herself. It's time for her to be like other hopeful artists. She may need to have several jobs to make ends meet. By doing so, she will learn just how hard it can be to pursue your dreams and make a living. Reality has a way of humbling us all.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a housekeeper on the weekends for extra cash, but I don't tell this to anyone except my boyfriend because I am embarrassed. Almost all of my mother's and father's family worked in domestic service for generations. None of them was educated, and this is how they earned a living. They worked hard and saved money so that we could have a better life. And my siblings and I do the same.

I work a full-time job, but I need extra cash. I have this "secret" extra job that takes up almost all of my free time, so my friends don't seem to understand why I am never free on the weekends. They are starting to become very suspicious of my whereabouts. Should I come clean to them about my second job or keep it my secret? -- Scrub Scrub, Philadelphia

DEAR SCRUB SCRUB: The first thing you need to do is recognize that there is no shame in your housekeeping work. I get that you can feel that way, but I encourage you to think about your family's history. You wouldn't be where you are without your family proudly doing their work. The fact that you know how to clean well enough to be hired to do it is a blessing.

My maternal grandmother was a domestic worker until she was 93 years old, when my mother forced her to retire. When I questioned her about why she was continuing to do this work, she challenged me and told me that she loved her work and the people she worked for. She added that when the day came that I would have work, it would be my job to love my work and those with whom I worked, too. She saw work as an honorable pursuit, and that work of all kinds should be respected.

I recommend that you tell your friends that you have a part-time job that takes up your weekend time. Feel free to tell them what it is if they ask. Be proud that you are making choices that will help you to meet your goals.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I have outgrown many of my friends. They constantly put me down by saying I changed. Although it is true that I have changed because of life events in the past year, I don't think this is a reason to be putting me down. I have tried to keep in contact with these friends, but I find it difficult to have anything to talk about. Is it time for me to bow out of this friend group? -- Not That Girl Anymore, Parsippany, New York

DEAR NOT THAT GIRL ANYMORE: Assess what you want and need. You say you have outgrown your friends. If they no longer treat you with love and respect, perhaps it is time to move on. Consider each one individually. If any of the relationships are worth salvaging, reach out to those people one by one to see if you mutually want to continue your friendship. Otherwise, you can naturally just move on. Not all friendships are meant to last forever.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)