DEAR HARRIETTE: Is a gift card an impersonal gift? Sometimes I find myself too busy or at a loss for ideas when it comes time to give presents. For example, I got my friend a gift card to a store I know she likes. I felt bad, but also knew it would be put to good use. Should I have gone to the store and picked something out that she may have returned instead? -- Gift Card, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR GIFT CARD: Some of the most popular gifts these days are gift cards. Yes, they are quick and easy for the givers, but also they're like giving somebody cash to buy what he or she likes. The fact that you thought about your friend and got her a card from one of her favorite stores shows that you were being thoughtful. You could have given a gift card from American Express, Visa or Mastercard that could be used anywhere. By the way, those are great gifts as well.

One way to further personalize a gift is to buy or make a card in which you include a special note acknowledging your friend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 60 years old and have been feeling that I am too old to go to professional workshops. I have only a few years left to go until I retire, and I hate how out of touch I feel when these young professionals are teaching me. Do you have any words of motivation so I can feel good about going to these again? -- Oldest One There, Atlanta

DEAR OLDEST ONE THERE: We reach different moments in our lives when everything comes into question. This occurs with greater frequency as we get older. It is your choice, however, as to how you will react to these moments. As it relates to work, one way you can stay young is to stay up to date on everything. You should take professional workshops so that you remain relevant at work. You should also welcome the young professionals who teach you what they know.

As difficult as it may seem at first, if you welcome the input of younger people and truly allow yourself to learn, you will be able to enjoy your remaining working years much better. Similarly, go online and look for tutorials that are available there. Thanks to the internet, there is so much educational material available that you should be able to help yourself to keep up with changes in your industry.

You may even want to bring ideas to your younger colleagues that you have read about in your research. Ask them if they know about particular things you discover. Your putting forth the effort will help to boost your self-esteem and show your company that you not only have experience in your favor, but you also have the willingness to continue to be a student of your industry and life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I often go to fast-food restaurants for lunch. It is quick, affordable and delicious, at least the place that I go to. I usually go by myself because I have only a short time for my lunch break at work.

Is it when rude to relocate yourself if a group of loud strangers seats themselves directly next to you? For example, I usually get a burrito for lunch and sit at the bar. A group of a dozen teenagers will decide to set up camp directly behind me, even though there are many open tables in this space. Could I move because I have good reason to want to enjoy my lunch in peace? -- Alone Time, Phoenix

DEAR ALONE TIME: You have every right to eat in peace, even in a fast-food restaurant. Of course you can get up and move if a group of noisy diners sits next to you. Don’t give it a second thought. Also, be mindful not to judge them. They are enjoying themselves as well. Since you are not dining in a quiet restaurant, you cannot expect silence. You can distance yourself from loud diners, but do so with a smile on your face.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a predicament where I feel inadequate as a mother. I was studying with my 12-year-old daughter, and I realized that I don't know how to help her academically anymore. I was fine through elementary school curriculum, but I can’t seem to remember the specifics.

My father helped me with schoolwork through high school, so I feel like a dud, unable to help my daughter. Should I study up or suggest she get help after school? -- Forgotten Knowledge, Gary, Indiana

DEAR FORGOTTEN KNOWLEDGE: I feel your pain, as I am in a very similar place with my 13-year-old. I know some things, but there’s a lot that makes no sense to me. I have discovered that there are a few things you can do to stay connected to your child as you ensure that she gets the support she needs.

For starters, you can continue to listen to your daughter share various homework assignments with you. Her articulating her lessons out loud is helpful to her, even if you don’t understand. Listen carefully to see what you can pick up. Do not pretend to know the answers if you don’t know them. Be honest.

Be sure to get your daughter additional help. She should know if there are study sessions or tutoring opportunities at the school. You can also contact her teacher and ask for recommendations for academic support available at school -- many offer before- or after-school study sessions. If this is not available, consider hiring a tutor to help your daughter in areas where she needs it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has confided to me about her son’s troubles in school. He is the goofball of his class and doesn’t like sitting down to do work. He is in third grade, and "Adrienne" is saddened that he is not doing well in any of his classes.

I work with children who have ADD and ADHD, but I was not sure if she was telling me about her son’s troubles because he most likely has ADHD. Should I reach out to her and give her my professional opinion? I doubt she was coming to me only as a friend, knowing my profession. -- Work and Friends, Seattle

DEAR WORK AND FRIENDS: You should not give her your professional opinion, but you can speak to her in greater depth about her situation. Start by asking her if she told you about her son’s issues because she needs help. You can remind her of what you do and tell her that if she wants to have her son evaluated, you can explain the path forward. You can recommend doctors for him to visit. Depending upon how close you are and how comfortable you feel, you may also offer to have her schedule an appointment with you to evaluate him. It is important for you to be professional in your discussions with your friend as you advise about medical professionals and if you decide to help the boy yourself. Offer no potential evaluation on the fly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: More companies are now asking for a cover letter for any position you are applying for -- even an unpaid part-time internship. I have found at every attempt to write a cover letter that I sound cheesy and desperate.

I obviously want the job I am applying for, but I don’t know how else to sell myself without basically begging. What do employers want? -- Not Covered, Cleveland

DEAR NOT COVERED: Your job in a cover letter is to bring your story and credentials to life in a way that clearly shows a potential employer that you have the ability to do the job available. Your focus should be tailored to how you can be of service to this company. To the extent that you know details about the company’s work and objectives, do your best to mention those things and point out specific ways that you can contribute to the company’s success.

If you have very little work experience in general or in the company’s area of focus, write about other attributes, like being a fast learner, being conscientious, loyal, timely, professional, even-tempered, creative, etc. Select descriptions that are unique to you, and give an example or two to illustrate your point.

Avoid being vague. You must make it clear to this potential employer that you believe this job is tailor-made for you. A mistake that many young people make is to say they will take any job that’s available just to get their foot in the door, or they are undecided but want a chance. An employer needs to believe that you want the specific job that’s available.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)