DEAR HARRIETTE: I live by a big city, and I try to get my children into the city to see museums, plays and authors. Although we have an excellent experience once we are in the city, controlling my children on the train is a whole other beast. They go up to strangers, scream and are generally disruptive. I am so embarrassed yet don't know what to do. -- Wild Children, Denver

DEAR WILD CHILDREN: Change your strategy. Before you go anywhere, talk to your children about what to expect. This instruction must be extremely specific. Include not running, using inside voices and staying with their parents. When traveling on any kind of public transportation, your children need to understand what is expected of them, including how to get a ticket, the importance of being still in order to give other passengers room, and the requirement to stay with the family and to be quiet. Reiterate to them what behaviors they should exemplify when they are in public, and have them practice at home. Let them know that the reward for good behavior is to have wonderful experiences engaging others. The penalty for bad behavior is that they will not be able to enjoy any of these things. They may need a few times when they are denied the opportunity to go places so that the consequences are obvious.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker and I recently learned that we live in the same neighborhood. She suggested we begin carpooling to work, and I agreed -- only to be polite. Now, she is attempting to create a schedule with me. I know I should carpool to reduce emissions, but I value my alone time in the morning, and I don't want to chatter about work before arriving and after leaving. How do I kindly reject my co-worker's offer? -- No HOV, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR NO HOV: What about a compromise? Suggest to your co-worker that you carpool two days a week and go separately on the other days. Set it up as a trial for a month so that you can see if you are comfortable with the ride, with each other’s cars, with your individual schedules and with the conversation. It is OK for you to be honest with her. Tell her how much you enjoy your solitude and your early-morning rituals, and you aren’t sure that you want to give that up. Offer to do this trial period with her where you both assess if you are comfortable with the journey to and from work. No matter how you feel at the end of the trial period, even if you love it, be sure to check in with each other. If you want to extend the agreement, do so with timelines included. In this way, each of you has an equal stake in this drive.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: About once a week, I receive a LinkedIn notification that my ex has viewed my profile. I don't think he knows that I receive a notification whenever someone views my profile, and I am not sure if I should text him a heads-up about how transparent his snooping is. Would this be the kind thing to do, or would it simply embarrass him? -- Spying Sal, Dallas

DEAR SPYING SAL: Perhaps the good news is that you are aware of your ex’s spying. It lets you know that he has not been able to shake you from his life yet, for whatever reason. Continue to post on LinkedIn and any other social media that you use, being mindful that you are being watched. You do not need to alert him that you know he’s watching. That will only engage him in interaction when your intention must be to move on. Do not give him any reason to believe that there is a chance for you to reconnect if there is not.

Instead, continue to live your life and stay focused on what’s ahead. You may also want to be mindful of your surroundings. Be aware of who is around you, in case your ex’s spying turns into following you. If you start dating someone else, don’t post that right away. Don’t give your ex any reason to get heated about you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I dislike when parents overshare about their child’s life on social media. As somebody who researches how posts get shared and how many people end up viewing them, I become uneasy to think that a child could be viewed by hundreds or thousands of people in a single day. These posts are usually harmless, but I don't think parents understand that their posts of their toddler in the bath can reach hundreds of eyes. Could I privately message the parents out of concern, or am I sticking my nose where it doesn't belong? -- Too Much Media, Cincinnati

DEAR TOO MUCH MEDIA: This is an important point, and you are right. Many loving parents who are simply doting on their children -- and even bragging a bit -- do not realize how far their photos and videos can go. This is in part because one person can easily share with another or copy and paste images to share with different people. That parent may have a small group of friends, but someone in his or her friend group could have a huge group of friends who then could have access to the images.

Should you say something? It depends on who you are telling. If you know the person and feel genuine concern that the image just posted might fall into dangerous hands, reach out in a private message to express your thoughts. It’s trickier if you don’t know someone, but even then, a private message may have impact. Imagine if you received a note from a stranger warning that the image you just posted of your beloved son or daughter might fall into the wrong hands. That would be chilling.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My first university networking event is coming up, and I have no idea how to conduct myself. I have my business attire ironed and ready; however, my thoughts and game plan are not as set. How can I feel comfortable when meeting people so successful in my field when I've done nothing? Ice breakers seem to rarely break the ice. -- Networking, Boston

DEAR NETWORKING: Consider this an opportunity to learn. Go into the gathering with a mindset of gaining as much knowledge as you can.

When you meet people, ask specific questions that will engage them. Generally, people love to talk about themselves, so smart questions should get them going. When asked about yourself, be prepared to say why you are interested in this field and what you hope to do with your life. This can be a brief yet passionate statement, followed by more questions. Feel free to say to the people who have long been in this field that you look forward to being successful like they are as you build your career. If you find yourself in a quiet location where you have time for a more in-depth conversation, be sure to ask them about what they consider highlights of their journey, as well as challenges.

If the event is more like a traditional cocktail reception where people meet and chat momentarily before moving to the next person, be more strategic. Shake hands and make eye contact, introduce yourself with a strong voice and ask a key question. If you feel like the person might want to talk to you further, ask for a business card and then follow up right away by saying how nice it was to meet the person.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call late last night that my daughter was arrested while on spring break. I am incredibly disappointed in her, but her crime was nonviolent and will be taken off her record. She is of legal drinking age and got caught drinking on the beach. She paid her own bail. Should I punish her? I am honestly just grateful this wasn't any worse. -- Minor Offense, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR MINOR OFFENSE: Punishment for an adult is tough to enforce. What is more important is to talk to your daughter about what happened. Have her share with you the experience of what occurred, including the arrest and time spent in jail. Talk to her about it in as much detail as she is willing to share. Find out if she knew that it was illegal to drink on the beach. This may not be common knowledge.

Your daughter needs to have clarification on right and wrong, as this is one of the lessons that will come to her in one way or another throughout her life. It is imperative for your daughter to think about her actions and the potential consequences, especially as it relates to alcohol. She should learn where is it illegal to drink or even carry opened bottles of alcohol (which includes her vehicle) and be aware of who will be the designated driver if she is in the company of a party of drinkers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)