DEAR HARRIETTE: My first university networking event is coming up, and I have no idea how to conduct myself. I have my business attire ironed and ready; however, my thoughts and game plan are not as set. How can I feel comfortable when meeting people so successful in my field when I've done nothing? Ice breakers seem to rarely break the ice. -- Networking, Boston

DEAR NETWORKING: Consider this an opportunity to learn. Go into the gathering with a mindset of gaining as much knowledge as you can.

When you meet people, ask specific questions that will engage them. Generally, people love to talk about themselves, so smart questions should get them going. When asked about yourself, be prepared to say why you are interested in this field and what you hope to do with your life. This can be a brief yet passionate statement, followed by more questions. Feel free to say to the people who have long been in this field that you look forward to being successful like they are as you build your career. If you find yourself in a quiet location where you have time for a more in-depth conversation, be sure to ask them about what they consider highlights of their journey, as well as challenges.

If the event is more like a traditional cocktail reception where people meet and chat momentarily before moving to the next person, be more strategic. Shake hands and make eye contact, introduce yourself with a strong voice and ask a key question. If you feel like the person might want to talk to you further, ask for a business card and then follow up right away by saying how nice it was to meet the person.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call late last night that my daughter was arrested while on spring break. I am incredibly disappointed in her, but her crime was nonviolent and will be taken off her record. She is of legal drinking age and got caught drinking on the beach. She paid her own bail. Should I punish her? I am honestly just grateful this wasn't any worse. -- Minor Offense, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR MINOR OFFENSE: Punishment for an adult is tough to enforce. What is more important is to talk to your daughter about what happened. Have her share with you the experience of what occurred, including the arrest and time spent in jail. Talk to her about it in as much detail as she is willing to share. Find out if she knew that it was illegal to drink on the beach. This may not be common knowledge.

Your daughter needs to have clarification on right and wrong, as this is one of the lessons that will come to her in one way or another throughout her life. It is imperative for your daughter to think about her actions and the potential consequences, especially as it relates to alcohol. She should learn where is it illegal to drink or even carry opened bottles of alcohol (which includes her vehicle) and be aware of who will be the designated driver if she is in the company of a party of drinkers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Lauren" is very outgoing and kind. I have noticed her teeth becoming more damaged and yellowed in the past few months. We regularly speak about our various health ailments, and she has not mentioned her teeth. I don’t care about the cosmetic appearance of her teeth; it's just that I would feel incredibly guilty if there was an infection of some sort lurking there. Growing up, I was always told to never comment on weight or teeth, but is this an exception? I want to make sure Lauren is healthy. -- Pearly Whites, Cincinnati

DEAR PEARLY WHITES: You may be able to begin the conversation by talking about your own teeth. Tell her that you plan on going to the dentist soon. Ask her who her dentist is. Continue by asking her if she has been to see her dentist recently. Then, go for it carefully. Tell her that you have noticed that her teeth seem to be changing, and you are concerned about her. You can tell her that you have learned that the health of your teeth is often directly connected to the health of your body, which is why you are going to get a checkup -- and why she should do the same. If she does not have dental insurance, suggest that she check with the local dental school. Often, schools offer free or low-cost dental care provided by students.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine sent out her wedding invitations, and I was not invited. I am surprised because she has consulted me about details regarding the ceremony and reception over several months. I mean, we have talked for hours about her wedding -- so much so that I sometimes canceled other activities with friends so that I could be there for her. Is it possible that I was forgotten on the invite list? I want to go to her wedding, yet don’t know if I was purposely left out. -- You (Don’t) Have Mail, Atlanta

DEAR YOU (DON’T) HAVE MAIL: This is a time when I would ask. Given that she consulted you repeatedly about her wedding, it is odd that you would not have received an invitation. Call your friend and ask her directly if she invited you to her wedding. Tell her that you did not receive an invitation. Tell her that you wonder if she somehow had the wrong address.

If it turns out that she didn’t invite you, you have every right to say that your feelings are hurt. You assumed that you were on her guest list, given that she consulted with you repeatedly about details of the wedding. In the end, you do not have control over whether you get an invitation, but in this instance, you do have the right to tell your friend how you feel.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have started thinking about my co-worker, "Oliver," as more than a friend. We have had a very flirtatious relationship filled with banter, but have never followed through on it.

Oliver mentioned going to a bar after work in passing once, and I never followed up on this offer. Could I ask him out since I flubbed our first chance? My company has no specific policy prohibiting employees from dating. -- Work Crush, Dallas

DEAR WORK CRUSH: You can definitely invite him out after work. You can even tell him that you want to take him up on his invitation from some time ago. Ask him if he would still like to go out. Keep your date to yourselves, though. Even though your company has no stated policy about employees dating, it is wise to keep your personal business to yourselves. You have no idea what may come of this budding friendship.

If Oliver agrees to go out with you, take your time. Get to know each other, and if something comes of your friendship, you should decide together when to share the news with co-workers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been receiving dinner invitations for much, much later than I would expect as someone nearly 30 years old. The people extending the invitations are nice. A couple of them are potential dates, but I just don’t want to do it.

How late is too late to be asked to dinner? I have been finding myself turning down invitations for 9 p.m. plans with no excuse other than “that’s simply too late.” I want to have a social life, but everything I have read about eating late at night says this is a bad idea. What can I do? -- Not Appropriate Time, Frederick, Maryland

DEAR NOT APPROPRIATE TIME: People eat dinner at all different times, even though, as you pointed out, it is healthier for people to eat before 7 so that they have fully digested their food before they go to sleep. Going out to dinner at 9 p.m. is very common, believe it or not. Because so many people work long hours, the dinner hour has extended this far. If you ever do go, you will see that restaurants are typically packed at 9.

If you do want to get together with the people who are extending these invitations, you can do one of several things. You could occasionally go to a late-evening dinner and be selective with your food choices. Eat light in an effort to stick to your style of eating. You can ask the person if it is possible to schedule the dinner earlier. You can say you have an early morning and don’t want to be out too late. Finally, you can come up with other activities that you can do with the people in question. Get creative with your outing ideas so that you get to see other people without compromising your eating habits.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)