DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Lauren" is very outgoing and kind. I have noticed her teeth becoming more damaged and yellowed in the past few months. We regularly speak about our various health ailments, and she has not mentioned her teeth. I don’t care about the cosmetic appearance of her teeth; it's just that I would feel incredibly guilty if there was an infection of some sort lurking there. Growing up, I was always told to never comment on weight or teeth, but is this an exception? I want to make sure Lauren is healthy. -- Pearly Whites, Cincinnati

DEAR PEARLY WHITES: You may be able to begin the conversation by talking about your own teeth. Tell her that you plan on going to the dentist soon. Ask her who her dentist is. Continue by asking her if she has been to see her dentist recently. Then, go for it carefully. Tell her that you have noticed that her teeth seem to be changing, and you are concerned about her. You can tell her that you have learned that the health of your teeth is often directly connected to the health of your body, which is why you are going to get a checkup -- and why she should do the same. If she does not have dental insurance, suggest that she check with the local dental school. Often, schools offer free or low-cost dental care provided by students.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine sent out her wedding invitations, and I was not invited. I am surprised because she has consulted me about details regarding the ceremony and reception over several months. I mean, we have talked for hours about her wedding -- so much so that I sometimes canceled other activities with friends so that I could be there for her. Is it possible that I was forgotten on the invite list? I want to go to her wedding, yet don’t know if I was purposely left out. -- You (Don’t) Have Mail, Atlanta

DEAR YOU (DON’T) HAVE MAIL: This is a time when I would ask. Given that she consulted you repeatedly about her wedding, it is odd that you would not have received an invitation. Call your friend and ask her directly if she invited you to her wedding. Tell her that you did not receive an invitation. Tell her that you wonder if she somehow had the wrong address.

If it turns out that she didn’t invite you, you have every right to say that your feelings are hurt. You assumed that you were on her guest list, given that she consulted with you repeatedly about details of the wedding. In the end, you do not have control over whether you get an invitation, but in this instance, you do have the right to tell your friend how you feel.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have started thinking about my co-worker, "Oliver," as more than a friend. We have had a very flirtatious relationship filled with banter, but have never followed through on it.

Oliver mentioned going to a bar after work in passing once, and I never followed up on this offer. Could I ask him out since I flubbed our first chance? My company has no specific policy prohibiting employees from dating. -- Work Crush, Dallas

DEAR WORK CRUSH: You can definitely invite him out after work. You can even tell him that you want to take him up on his invitation from some time ago. Ask him if he would still like to go out. Keep your date to yourselves, though. Even though your company has no stated policy about employees dating, it is wise to keep your personal business to yourselves. You have no idea what may come of this budding friendship.

If Oliver agrees to go out with you, take your time. Get to know each other, and if something comes of your friendship, you should decide together when to share the news with co-workers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been receiving dinner invitations for much, much later than I would expect as someone nearly 30 years old. The people extending the invitations are nice. A couple of them are potential dates, but I just don’t want to do it.

How late is too late to be asked to dinner? I have been finding myself turning down invitations for 9 p.m. plans with no excuse other than “that’s simply too late.” I want to have a social life, but everything I have read about eating late at night says this is a bad idea. What can I do? -- Not Appropriate Time, Frederick, Maryland

DEAR NOT APPROPRIATE TIME: People eat dinner at all different times, even though, as you pointed out, it is healthier for people to eat before 7 so that they have fully digested their food before they go to sleep. Going out to dinner at 9 p.m. is very common, believe it or not. Because so many people work long hours, the dinner hour has extended this far. If you ever do go, you will see that restaurants are typically packed at 9.

If you do want to get together with the people who are extending these invitations, you can do one of several things. You could occasionally go to a late-evening dinner and be selective with your food choices. Eat light in an effort to stick to your style of eating. You can ask the person if it is possible to schedule the dinner earlier. You can say you have an early morning and don’t want to be out too late. Finally, you can come up with other activities that you can do with the people in question. Get creative with your outing ideas so that you get to see other people without compromising your eating habits.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends have been married to each other for over a decade. Their marital problems began when they had their first and only child.

I get calls from each one confiding in me, and I have been taken through the roller coaster of them nearing divorce and then switching their tune after a vacation. It sadly always loops back to divorce. I have run out of advice to give them. I want to believe in loving someone forever, but could they just be doomed? -- Roller Coaster Ride, Denver

DEAR ROLLER COASTER RIDE: Married couples go through all kinds of twists and turns in their lives together. Some couples experience many rocky periods, like your friends. While you cannot control what happens to them, you can control what you do.

It is not your responsibility be their sounding board. The emotional exhaustion that you constantly experience because they include you in their marital ups and downs must come to an end. This will require you to tell each of them that you cannot listen to their woes anymore. Make it clear that you love them both and want the best for them, but that you cannot continue being in the middle of their challenges anymore. After you tell them, you will have to reinforce your decision by changing the subject whenever they bring up their issues.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do you ask somebody for a letter of recommendation? I need letters of recommendation from professors and employers for an internship. I feel awkward asking, because I have heard of people getting rejected. -- Recommend Me, Please, Boston

DEAR RECOMMEND ME, PLEASE: Letters of recommendation are extremely important and should be considered seriously. Before you make a request, think about the internship and what the requirements are. Then consider who knows you well -- as a student, as an employee, as a person. Ideally, you should ask people who know you well and who have concrete examples of your personality and how you interact in different situations. Select people who have a good reputation and with whom you have a good reputation. Be clear and specific when you ask for a recommendation. You can do this in writing, over the phone or in person. If the person you select has not interacted with you recently, be sure to have a reminder list of the things you did together and the dates. You want to make it as easy as possible for the recommender to be accurate in his or her description of you.

Give the person as much time as possible so that you are not imposing upon them too much. Generally, people do not agree to write recommendations if they are pressed for time or if they do not believe they can wholeheartedly offer a recommendation. If this happens to you, just ask someone else.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)