DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Hana" is obsessed with social media validation. The second she posts on any social media platform, she automatically texts over a dozen of her closest friends to show support of her post. I didn’t see much of a problem with Hana’s texts until I was with her when she posted a photograph; she is glued to her phone for hours afterward! I know everybody wants to be “liked,” but I think she has crossed the line. Should I tell Hana that her social media obsession is unhealthy? -- Glued to Phone, Denver

DEAR GLUED TO PHONE: Good luck with this one. A strange side effect of the proliferation of social media is that it can often lead to disconnection and longing for affirmation. The drive for more likes has led people to mistakenly believe that a computer click is equal to a hug. It is not.

Can you help your friend to recognize that? It is doubtful. The way that many people engage social media today is reflective of addictive behavior. Your friend is caught up. You may be able to ask Hana to put her devices away when she is hanging out with you. Tell her that you think it is rude for her to constantly be studying her devices and engaging social media when you are together. Ask her to be fully present and enjoy your company. This is a fair request. If you can get her to stop obsessing over her gadgets and connect with you, you may be able to find the right moment to tell her that you worry about her social media engagement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After a wine-filled night with friends, I accidentally told someone I strongly disliked them. Although I was inebriated, I do truly feel this way. I don’t want this moment to cause a rift in our group of friends. Neither of us was sober, and I am not sure if the person, "Dan," even remembers this specific moment. Should I apologize to him even though I don’t know if he remembers my distaste? -- Wine Night, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR WINE NIGHT: This is tough. On one hand, it would be great to apologize for getting intoxicated and loose-lipped. It’s always a good idea to acknowledge your mistakes and accept responsibility. The problem is that you do not want to lie to Dan, nor do you want to tell him again that you don’t like him. You could call him and say that you are sorry you spoke so strongly to him at the gathering. You can admit that you know everybody was drinking a lot, including you. Apologize if you offended him in any way. Do not lie. You can honestly be sorry for hurting his feelings even if what you said is true. If, when sober, Dan chooses to ask you if you meant what you said about him, you have to be ready to respond.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have distanced myself from a friend who supported a different political party than me during the last election. She and I had gotten into some pretty brutal debates on social media, and I finally had had enough of it, so I blocked her on all social media and basically stopped talking to her. Although my side won, I have been questioning whether I should have distanced myself from her because of her political views. Is it too late to reach out to her and apologize? The last time we spoke was in October, and I miss her. -- Political Divides, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR POLITICAL DIVIDES: The great thing about living in a democracy is that our culture is designed for people to be able to fight hard for their beliefs and then regroup after an election. There is nothing easy about standing up for your party or candidate and facing off with people who do not share your views. Yes, sometimes friendships get fractured in the fray. During this past presidential election, people dug in along party lines. The levels of animosity, disdain, anger and dissension were extremely high. It can be hard to recover after such a swirl of emotion.

But you can do it. Or at least you can try. Reach out to your friend and ask if you can get together. Apologize for being so intense during the election season. Tell her that you miss her and hope you can restore your friendship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor uses my side of our shared driveway whenever she has company over. We have a mutual agreement that we can use each other’s driveways when we have company, yet I don’t recall agreeing to a weekly sleepover of her and eight friends. For the past four weeks, she has had these big groups, and there is no room for even my car sometimes. How can I rescind our agreement? I don’t want to start any neighborly conflicts, considering we will both be here for a while. -- My Driveway, Catonsville, Maryland

DEAR MY DRIVEWAY: You have to speak up. Tell your neighbor that her large group weekends are taking over your life -- well, at least your parking space. Acknowledge that you two agreed that you would be flexible with the shared driveway when you have guests, but you had no idea she would have large groups every weekend.

Suggest to her that her guests park on the street or somewhere else. Not having a place to put your car every weekend doesn’t work. If she balks, point out that the driveway is to be shared. It is unfair for you to have to give up your space on a weekly basis to accommodate her parties. Put your foot down. It could get testy at first, but if you remain clear and strong about your position, your neighbor should eventually come around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I heard somebody who I thought was my friend use a slur about immigrants specific to my country of origin. He didn’t know I was listening, but I am shocked to learn he speaks this way about any immigrants, and specifically those from my home country, behind my back.

I haven’t spoken to my friend since. When he calls me, I let it go to voicemail. I have claimed that I'm too busy to hang out with him, but I’m afraid this excuse won't work much longer. Do I owe this person an explanation as to why I refuse to speak to him anymore? In my mind this isn’t a loss of a good friend, but I know he will be confused when he realizes I have iced him out. -- Cut Off, Savannah, Georgia

DEAR CUT OFF: The only way for us to turn the tide of xenophobia is to confront it. Walking away from your friend without letting him know why creates confusion without resolution. It is critical for you to contact your friend, sit with him face-to-face and let him know what you heard and how you feel about it. Tell him how hurt you are that he would speak in such a derogatory way about any immigrant group and that it was especially hurtful knowing that he was talking about your heritage.

Ask him to explain himself. Why would he speak like that? Does he realize how inappropriate his comments were? Ask him how he would feel if he heard you talking negatively about him or his people.

Yes, this conversation will be hard, but you need to remember that you have integrity on your side. Stand up for yourself, for your immigrant community, for humanity. Let your friend know that his words cut you to the core. You know now that he is not your friend. Make it clear to him why.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother of two children and nearing 50. I feel good about myself at this stage in my life. While practicing yoga, I usually wear spandex shorts. I now am becoming self-conscious about my workout apparel, considering I don’t look like the 20-year-olds also wearing spandex. When is too old to wear spandex? I am not out of shape, just am more mature than most studio attendees. -- Yoga Pants, Cambridge, Mississippi

DEAR YOGA PANTS: Your age is less the issue here than your fitness. Many women in your age group today are fit and look fine in form-fitted clothing. When you look in the mirror, front and back, and see a healthy, fit body that is dressed for the occasion, you can breathe easy. You do not need to look like your younger classmates. And you should not feel like you are in competition with them.

Because you are feeling self-conscious, you may want to make a couple of adjustments. One way to keep the sleek look that spandex gives you is to wear tight bottoms with a looser top or a top that covers your hips. Being a bit more modest is a way for you to feel more age-appropriate while you continue your very important workouts.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)