DEAR HARRIETTE: I am caught in a love triangle. I'm 22 and feel completely unsure of what to do. "Luke" is a sweet guy, and we've been friends for years, while "Chris" is a jock who has just started showing me attention. I feel horrible for juggling two guys, but only because it would hurt Luke if he found out. I know I will eventually have to choose one, but am completely torn on where to focus my energy. Should I pick the reliable choice or the daring bad boy? -- Too Much Love, Cincinnati

DEAR TOO MUCH LOVE: The person bound to be hurt the most in this situation is you. That is because you are unclear about what you want and what is important to you. It is time for you to take stock of that. What are you looking for right now? Do you want to date around, or do you want to find a committed relationship? Are you interested in Luke as a love partner or more as a platonic friend?

Start with Luke. Be ready to claim what you want to have with him. If you feel that, for now, anyway, it really is purely friendship, drum up the courage to tell him that you value his friendship the most. Be honest and say that you want to explore dating a bit and are not ready to commit. If he asks you if you have met someone else, tell him the truth. Yes, this will be hard, but if he is your longtime friend, he deserves your honesty. As far as Chris is concerned, you should also seriously think about whether dating him is worth potentially losing Luke as a friend. Sort it all out before you do anything.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently made the switch to wearing only cruelty-free makeup. Very few brands do not test on animals or use animal products in their makeup, so I have been going through trial and error. I met up with my sister at a bar recently, and she immediately began judging my makeup. I felt so embarrassed, and she now texts me to make sure I'm looking my best. Is my appearance more valuable than the lives of animals that have to be tested on? I don't want to waver in my beliefs, but I apparently need more coverage. -- Skin Deep, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR SKIN DEEP: While there is not a lot of cruelty-free makeup, it does exist. You may need to get the support of a makeup artist to show you how to use the new makeup. There's a great chance that someone representing one of these companies is at the ready to support you for free.

More, though, I want to suggest that you go natural, like Alicia Keys, and then slowly figure out what works for you. You might be surprised to learn that many women wear minimal makeup. It may include just a dusting of powder to even out your skin tone, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss or lipstick.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife has recently purchased a car for herself. I had no idea she even had the funds to do something like this. She gave her old car to our daughter to take to college and refuses to answer any of my questions about her personal finances.

I have a separate account from our joint account, but I would tell her anything she wanted to know about my finances. Doesn't my wife owe it to me to disclose her financial statements? I could never imagine hiding thousands of dollars from her. -- No Secrets, Baltimore

DEAR NO SECRETS: Your wife is likely following old-school wisdom that tells women they should always have a private stash of money. Years ago, this was particularly popular for women who did not work or who earned a much smaller income than their husbands, just to ensure that they would have a cushion in case their husbands did not share resources.

Is this the best practice? No. In a healthy marriage, it is much better for both partners to be open and honest about everything, especially finances. Rather than pressing her at this moment, take a step back and ask yourself why she may be doing this. Did you two talk about buying a car for your daughter, and you were against it? Has anything occurred between you and your wife that would make her feel that she needed to have a personal stash and spend it now?

When you do broach the subject again, take the approach of wanting to learn. Ask her if you have done anything that encouraged her to feel she had to hide money from you. Make it clear to her that you want to understand where the two of you are. You want to be in alignment, but right now you aren't.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently hosted a dinner at my home and didn't ask the guests to bring anything. Much to my surprise, a friend of a friend showed up to my home, gifting me a box of wine. I have never had wine from a box and do not intend on starting now. Could I give this wine back to her? She told me it comes from a company that is trying to be sustainable, but I cannot imagine myself ever drinking wine from a cardboard box. -- Bottles Only, Westchester, New York

DEAR BOTTLES ONLY: I feel like I have to remind people to breathe a lot these days. Please take a deep breath and step back for a moment. Your guest surely did not mean to offend you with her gift. Believe it or not, many people are choosing wine in a box as an eco-friendly delivery of the libation. And some wine lovers are actually enjoying this new option.

This may never be your choice, but there's no need to insult your guest by giving it back. Feel free to give it away. You can also toss it if you just want it out of your house.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am extremely lactose intolerant, and my workplace thankfully recognizes this. On Pizza Fridays, there is always a cheeseless pie ordered for me. Recently, I have been coming to lunch realizing that my pie is gone.

My co-workers have gushed over how all of the vegetables without cheese taste great. I am happy for them, but they are indulging in the only food that I can eat -- whereas they can sample any pie they want. Is there any way to ask my co-workers to stop eating restricted food? -- Lunchless, Los Angeles

DEAR LUNCHLESS: You started a trend! Rather than pressuring your co-workers into keeping their paws off of your pizza, ask the lunch organizer to add a second cheese-free pie to the order. Point out that the group has taken a fancy to your yummy veggies to the extent that they have eaten it all before you got even a slice. Obviously, this means that the cheeseless pizza is a big hit. Urge your employer to replace one of the cheesy pizzas with another one like yours!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a landlord in a suburb. As a thank-you for extending the rent due date, one of my tenants gave me a gift of homemade sausage. I was so stunned that I accepted it without asking any questions. It now just sits in my freezer, untouched. Am I allowed to prod my tenant about the contents of this present? I normally wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth; however, I think this situation would allow me to bend the etiquette rules. -- Lonely Links, Near Pittsburgh

DEAR LONELY LINKS: One way to ask about the sausage without seeming rude is to express your true curiosity. Strike up a conversation with your tenant and ask about the whole process. Making sausage at home is not something that is commonly done these days. Ask about the process and the selection of ingredients. Certainly you can ask what type of sausage you were given. This shouldn't be so unusual a question, given that today there are so many variations on sausages in the regular grocery store that who knows what a creative cook might make?

Your attitude going into this conversation is what will make all the difference as it relates to the way your tenant reacts. Be open and interested rather than skeptical and worried. This is an opportunity for the two of you to get to know each other better -- bonding around food.

Know that you will be asked if you have consumed the sausage yet. Be honest and say that you haven't. Admit that you wanted to learn about the sausage before cooking it because you wanted to savor the sausage with the full story of how it was made in mind. If, after you learn about the way it was made, you decide you don't want to eat it, do not say that to your tenant. This is where a little white lie might be better. Or perhaps you can share it with a friend who would enjoy it. Then you can say you did that, and it was a big hit!

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)