DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriends and I are admittedly a catty group. We have frequent drama but always end up growing closer when all is said and done. Recently, a friend's husband, "Al," has been getting involved in our arguments. Having a friend's husband call me to discuss something I said about his wife is ludicrous to me. We are all grown women who don't need husbands meddling in our drama. How can I tell Al that his two cents are not (and will never be) welcome? -- Not Your Battle, Boston
DEAR NOT YOUR BATTLE: Consider a different thought here. If Al is contacting you about your argument with his wife, there's a chance that his wife is still upset about whatever you discussed with her. It may easily be that she leaves your argument and either goes home still angry or, worse, her husband overhears her on the phone -- or in person -- arguing with you and has to pick up the pieces when she pivots to him.
My point? Take heed. Perhaps you are being a bit too catty, and this is why Al is speaking up in defense of his wife for the sake of peace in his household. Rather than rebuffing him, let his call to you be your wake-up call to tone down the drama.