DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going home more and more to see my ailing grandfather. He remains very upbeat and asks me why I have traveled so far every time I visit. He doesn't have much time left and has been told this; however, it doesn't seem to be sticking. Driving 300 miles isn't the hardest part about going home. It's not knowing what to tell him when he questions me. What can I say to my grandfather? His mind is still there, but his body is betraying him. -- Last Weeks, Detroit

DEAR LAST WEEKS: Tell your grandfather stories about your life. Tell him about your journey to visit him. Did you see anything interesting on your drive? Describe the sunrise and sunset. Tell him about your friends, your home, your job. Be selective with your stories. To the best of your ability, tell positive stories that show glimpses into how you live your daily life.

You should also ask him about his life. Invite him to tell you about his childhood, family and friends. Ask him what he liked to do when he was a child. Ask him to tell you about when he met your grandmother. Learn from him any and everything he remembers and is willing to share. Once you get him going with stories, it may be easier the next time you visit. You can ask him to pick up where he left off. With prompting, he may be able to share many gems about his life before he passes on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A running joke within my circle is that I run on "Tatiana time." I am late to everything and can't seem to quit this horrible habit. Friends lie to me about flight times, showtimes and reservations so that I will arrive closer to the actual time.

I need to stop being late, but nobody believes in my ability to do this. Setting alarms earlier doesn't do much to rouse me because I know I am tricking myself. How do I finally scrap "Tatiana time" for good? -- Own Clock, Portland, Oregon

DEAR OWN CLOCK: Step back for a moment and take a hard look at what you are doing. You are being disrespectful to your friends, your family and ultimately to yourself. Being late is rude and irresponsible. I hate to be so harsh about it, but clearly this is what you need. Think about how you are treating the people you say you love. It is not fair.

That so many have attempted to figure out creative ways to get you to be on time, only for that to fail, says that you are not taking this seriously enough. Indeed, even your own alarm-setting isn't working. I believe this is because you have not accepted the depth of the negative repercussions that you are causing. So please consider that if you do not improve, you could lose your job, your friends and even the support of your family. Is this what you want? If not, tell yourself that being timely is important, and just do it.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Spanish speaker and find it infuriating when my co-worker "Connie" pretends to speak Spanish by affecting a horrible accent and adding an "o" to words. I don't think she understands all of the implications that come from her actions. Should I tell Connie that the office is branding her as a racist and not a comedian? -- Learn It or Lose It, Bangor, Maine

DEAR LEARN IT OR LOSE IT: Rather than making a comment to Connie about the office branding her as racist, be specific about how you feel. Educate her. There is a good chance that Connie's actions are pure ignorance, potentially without malice. This does not make her behavior any less offensive, by the way, but it may allow you to have more compassion for her.

Tell Connie that when she attempts to speak Spanish extremely poorly that you find it offensive, not funny. Point out that what she is doing seems racist to you whether that is her intention or not. Let her know that you suspect that you are not the only person who looks down on what seems like mockery of Spanish speakers. Suggest that she stop.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I found out some information about what a "friend" was saying about me behind my back. I chose to ignore this but distance myself from her. "Blaise" has just noticed that I haven't spoken to her much in the past months and has been bombarding me, expressing her love for me and trying to get together. I never confronted her when I first found out that she'd been a bad friend, and now don't know how to react to her. Beating a dead horse is pointless, but she also might deserve an explanation of why I essentially cut her out of my life. Which option should I choose? -- Too Long Ago, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR TOO LONG AGO: Walking away from a deceitful friendship can sometimes work. When you know with certainty that someone has spoken badly about you, it is OK to step back rather than confront the person. But when that person reaches out, bewildered, trying to reconnect, it can absolutely be worth it for you to respond. She deserves to know why you disconnected from her.

What's more, if you let her know that you are aware of her behavior -- specifically telling her what you learned that she said about you -- you will be able to clear the air. This doesn't mean that she will admit to having made the comments. Often people lie. Ultimately, you will have to decide whether you will let this woman back into your life.

I do recommend that you forgive her. This is because holding on to this grudge will hurt you far more than it will hurt her. Be willing to hear her out, draw your own conclusions about how much you can trust her now that time has passed, forgive her and continue to live your life. Do not let her sidetrack you.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am planning a wedding that will be taking place in the fall. I have gone back and forth with my husband-to-be about the prospect of an open bar. I have a few alcoholics in my family, and I feel as though this would enable them to make fools of themselves. My fiance believes that a small group should not be allowed to ruin everybody else's time. How can I balance having an open bar with keeping my addicted relatives at bay? -- Water for You, Seattle

DEAR WATER FOR YOU: Even if you had an alcohol-free bar, there would be a chance that your alcoholic family members could get drunk, because they might bring their own stash. You cannot control how much they drink. You can ask them in advance to do you a huge favor and try not to get drunk at the party. Yes, I said it. Be proactive and call them on their behavior. Your voice may ring in their ears during the night and curb someone's behavior.

More practically, you should set up safeguards for anyone who tends to drink too much. Start by informing bartenders to stop serving anyone who is drunk. This is the law, though often not enforced. Reserve a private room at your reception site where drunk guests can be taken to protect them and your other guests. Arrange for a taxi or car service to be on hand to drive any intoxicated guests home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is an immigrant from Europe. Following the election, he began thinking about opening a second business location back in Denmark. I don't hate the idea, but I'm scared that he feels the need to have a security net like this. He told me that I essentially have final say over the decision because I will have to take care of the kids when he is gone. Should I give him the green light? I have thought about this endlessly for weeks now. -- Tipping Point, Rochester, New York

DEAR TIPPING POINT: Talk to your husband in detail about his ideas, including how much support he has in Denmark in order to build a business there. On one hand, his idea could be great for your family. But know that startups take a tremendous amount of time, and typically the owner has to be in the trenches indefinitely. If you and your husband want him to return to the family at some point and live together in the U.S., he will also have to identify individuals he can trust implicitly to help grow and run the business.

Realistically, you should both know that this is rare. Most successful entrepreneurs are 100 percent committed to their businesses for the long haul. Knowing this, you and your husband need to talk seriously about what you want your future to look like. You must be frank about where you are willing to live in five to 10 years. If Denmark is not a serious contender and you want to stay married, you may want to pass on your husband going abroad to start that business.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)