DEAR HARRIETTE: I am planning a wedding that will be taking place in the fall. I have gone back and forth with my husband-to-be about the prospect of an open bar. I have a few alcoholics in my family, and I feel as though this would enable them to make fools of themselves. My fiance believes that a small group should not be allowed to ruin everybody else's time. How can I balance having an open bar with keeping my addicted relatives at bay? -- Water for You, Seattle

DEAR WATER FOR YOU: Even if you had an alcohol-free bar, there would be a chance that your alcoholic family members could get drunk, because they might bring their own stash. You cannot control how much they drink. You can ask them in advance to do you a huge favor and try not to get drunk at the party. Yes, I said it. Be proactive and call them on their behavior. Your voice may ring in their ears during the night and curb someone's behavior.

More practically, you should set up safeguards for anyone who tends to drink too much. Start by informing bartenders to stop serving anyone who is drunk. This is the law, though often not enforced. Reserve a private room at your reception site where drunk guests can be taken to protect them and your other guests. Arrange for a taxi or car service to be on hand to drive any intoxicated guests home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is an immigrant from Europe. Following the election, he began thinking about opening a second business location back in Denmark. I don't hate the idea, but I'm scared that he feels the need to have a security net like this. He told me that I essentially have final say over the decision because I will have to take care of the kids when he is gone. Should I give him the green light? I have thought about this endlessly for weeks now. -- Tipping Point, Rochester, New York

DEAR TIPPING POINT: Talk to your husband in detail about his ideas, including how much support he has in Denmark in order to build a business there. On one hand, his idea could be great for your family. But know that startups take a tremendous amount of time, and typically the owner has to be in the trenches indefinitely. If you and your husband want him to return to the family at some point and live together in the U.S., he will also have to identify individuals he can trust implicitly to help grow and run the business.

Realistically, you should both know that this is rare. Most successful entrepreneurs are 100 percent committed to their businesses for the long haul. Knowing this, you and your husband need to talk seriously about what you want your future to look like. You must be frank about where you are willing to live in five to 10 years. If Denmark is not a serious contender and you want to stay married, you may want to pass on your husband going abroad to start that business.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently lost my glasses and foolishly don't have backups. My prescription isn't sold in stores, so I have to wait to have an eye exam and then for the glasses to be delivered. In the meantime, I am unable to read presentations to my students or even drive myself to campus. My wife kindly drives me, but I feel completely helpless when teaching. I can barely read my slideshows, let alone students' papers. Should I just cancel my classes until my glasses come? I'm useless without them. -- Lame Duck, Cincinnati

DEAR LAME DUCK: As one who wears glasses, I totally understand how debilitating it can be to go without them. There is good news! Many opticians have on-site optometrists who have the ability and equipment to give you an eye exam as well as produce prescription eyeglasses on the same day or within a few days. This is true for national establishments like LensCrafters and Cohen Optical as well as many smaller, locally owned stores. You do not have to go long without glasses.

What you may want to do for backup at an affordable price is to order additional glasses through one of the online sites. You send in your prescription and select frames online. They come in a few days and are often hundreds of dollars more affordable than those in stores. I have used Zenni.com with great success. There are many other options.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been banking on a scholarship to allow me to take classes that I need for my degree. I casually mentioned that I was applying for a little-known scholarship to my friend, and now I am receiving messages from her about which scholarship this is. I don't want to lessen my chances of getting this money. How can I convey to her that I need to remain competitive? I probably need this money more than she does. -- On My Toes, Denver

DEAR ON MY TOES: Rather than pointing your friend to the specific scholarship that you are seeking, tell her about your process. Let her know that you have been researching scholarship opportunities for a long time, attempting to figure out the right fit for you so that you will be able to continue your education. Suggest to her that she continue to do her own search to match her interests, skills and needs.

If she continues to press you about your scholarship of choice, just don't answer. You do not have to share this information if you do not want to. Learn the lesson, though, that it is better not to talk about what you are attempting to make happen before it happens. You leave yourself vulnerable to other people's thoughts or, in this case, possible usurpation of your dream. Do yourself a favor and claim the victory when it happens -- not before.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a few dates with someone, but he never responded to my messages. You can imagine my shock when I saw him interviewing for a position at my company. I was asked my opinion on him, and I gave him a negative review because of how he treated me. Upon reflection, I possibly sabotaged him because of a situation outside of work. Should I change my tune on him, considering he is truly qualified for the job? I wouldn’t want karma to come back around and bite me like it could him. -- Mincing Words, Boston

DEAR MINCING WORDS: Think back on what you said in your negative review of this man. Were your words honest and accurate or conflated because of your hurt feelings? If you honestly believe that you were unfair to him based on his reaction to you, it would be wise to amend your comments. But tread lightly. You should not tell HR that you were so strong in your thoughts because he hurt your feelings. You can say that upon second thought, you have additional comments to add about this man.

If he does get hired, the day may come when you two get to talk. At that point, you may be able to tell him that his dismissive behavior toward you on a personal level definitely left you with a bad taste in your mouth about how he might behave professionally.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been taking appetite suppressants that I purchased online for a bargain. They make me feel sluggish and fog my brain, but I have lost a significant amount of weight. I love being skinny from these appetite suppressants, but I hate how they make me feel.

I feel like I have an angel and a devil on each shoulder -- one telling me to gain the weight and peace of mind back, while the other tells me to keep ordering the pills to maintain my figure. Who should I listen to? I love hearing compliments from my husband about how good I look. -- Skinny Minnie, Salt Lake City

DEAR SKINNY MINNIE: Next stop: your doctor’s office for a complete physical. Be completely forthcoming in speaking to your doctor. Bring the appetite suppressants that you are taking with you so your doctor can see exactly what you have been taking. Be frank in your discussion so that your doctor can figure out how best to help you. I’m sure your doctor will not recommend continuing to take anything that makes you feel sluggish. What may happen is that you get a prescription for something that can help you to stay the course without the negative side effects.

Please do not skip this important step. The medical tests that you will be given will evaluate the overall health of your body. It is very important to know if your organs are healthy. Sometimes taking these suppressants can wreak havoc on your body.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)