DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a few dates with someone, but he never responded to my messages. You can imagine my shock when I saw him interviewing for a position at my company. I was asked my opinion on him, and I gave him a negative review because of how he treated me. Upon reflection, I possibly sabotaged him because of a situation outside of work. Should I change my tune on him, considering he is truly qualified for the job? I wouldn’t want karma to come back around and bite me like it could him. -- Mincing Words, Boston
DEAR MINCING WORDS: Think back on what you said in your negative review of this man. Were your words honest and accurate or conflated because of your hurt feelings? If you honestly believe that you were unfair to him based on his reaction to you, it would be wise to amend your comments. But tread lightly. You should not tell HR that you were so strong in your thoughts because he hurt your feelings. You can say that upon second thought, you have additional comments to add about this man.
If he does get hired, the day may come when you two get to talk. At that point, you may be able to tell him that his dismissive behavior toward you on a personal level definitely left you with a bad taste in your mouth about how he might behave professionally.