DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year, I felt my friend "Marlo" distancing herself from me. I would constantly try to reach out to her, but we would spend time together infrequently. I stopped reaching out, and have heard radio silence.

Another friend stopped reaching out to Marlo at the same time, and confronted her about not wanting to be friends with us. Marlo was shocked and claims she had no idea she was acting this way. Is it possible to forget about your friends for months? -- Two-Way Street, Seattle

DEAR TWO-WAY STREET: I wonder if something is going on with Marlo that she is hiding. Before you give up on her entirely, reach out one more time, and attempt to get her to meet you face-to-face. Be a good listener and gentle questioner. Do your best to find out what’s going on in her life. On a good news track, it could be that she has a new suitor and is preoccupied. It could also be that she is overwhelmed at work, recently unemployed or facing a health scare.

One of my closest friends became reclusive for several years. While I talked to her regularly on the phone, she always seemed to bow out of face-to-face encounters, even though we were very close. I got really mad at her a couple of times when she stood me up for activities. When I finally got to see her, I discovered that she was very ill. She had kept this from everyone, including her family and closest friends. Sometimes people hide from the ones they love when they need their friends the most. Don’t give up on Marlo yet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been sick for the past week, and I haven't been able to come into work to complete projects. My days off were spent sleeping for about 18 hours and relaxing as best as I could.

Now that I am healthier, I realize I neglected a group project I had been working on. My boss knew I was out sick, but I did not make an effort to communicate to the group. How do I reach out to my group and apologize? Is an apology even necessary considering I have a valid excuse? -- “I” in Team, Boston

DEAR “I” IN TEAM: Being legitimately ill is real. Of course, you should apologize for not being there when your team needed you. Let them know that you are sorry you were unable to do your part in the group project. Without belaboring your illness, let them know that you were so sick that you did not even have the presence of mind to contact them. Thank them for pulling up the slack, and jump back in. Find out what work is left to do as well as what they are working on now. Do your best to focus your energy so that you can do your best as you transition back into the office.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a firefighter in my town, and my daughter constantly calls me when she is in the middle of an “emergency.” These so-called emergencies have consisted of setting off the fire alarm when making popcorn, hearing something when she is home alone and getting pulled over for speeding. When I am on duty, I need to remain available to anyone in danger. Is the public more important in these moments than my daughter? She is a teenager, but I don't want to abandon her when she's unsure of what to do. -- Smoke Signals, Tarrytown, New York

DEAR SMOKE SIGNALS: It is time for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about the boy who cried wolf. While she may be learning how to be alone and more independent as a teenager, she sounds like she is being a bit manipulative in pulling you away from work for minor challenges. Explain to her how to handle minor household emergencies. Remind her about the importance of driving safely, and make it clear that she can lose her license and her ability to use the car if she is not responsible. Assure her that you love her and want to support her in every way that you can, but point out that your job is to save lives, and you have to be on call. While she can be free to ask you to talk her through a seeming emergency, make it clear that you cannot drop everything and come whenever she calls. You may also want to find a neighbor or some responsible adult who can look out for her when she is at home alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In photos, I like to pose only on a certain side (the left). This is definitely my best angle, and I've struggled with figuring out how to ask people to move or switch with me so I can look my best in photos. What is the best way to phrase this? I don't want to sound overbearing, but I do want pictures I can be proud of. -- Cheese!, Milwaukee

DEAR CHEESE!: You are going to have to accept the reality that you will not be able to get your perfect photo angle in every picture without seeming arrogant and selfish. So you have to be strategic. When group photos begin to form naturally, you can scoot yourself over to the best location for you. You can even sometimes say that you want to be in a particular place because “this is my best side,” but don’t become obnoxious about it.

Instead, practice taking photos in different ways so that you find a few poses that make you feel comfortable. Usually, a slight movement of the chin or repositioning of the shoulders can help one’s overall look in a photo. You can practice by taking selfies alone or with a trusted friend.

In the end, I recommend relaxing and enjoying being with the people with whom you are being photographed, rather than obsessing about your perfect side.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As I am writing this, I have just gotten some free time from sorority recruitment events. After two full days of nearly nonstop events, I realized that I am falling behind on extracurriculars and schoolwork. All of my friends have made it through Greek life; however, I find it taking up all of my time. At this rate, I feel like I may have to leave my sorority. Is there any way I can try to find a balance? I tend to crash the second I don’t have to be at a mandatory event. -- Greek Grievances, St. Paul, Minnesota

DEAR GREEK GRIEVANCES: This could be a good thing for you, as the intense work requirements for your sorority are preparing you for what your work life may be like when you graduate. At the same time, you do need to learn to create boundaries, to be able to plan out your week or month and include everything, including your sorority. That said, it's not healthy when there is no endpoint and your studies and health are compromised. Evaluate your schedule, and carve out downtime as well as time for schoolwork and other activities. Tell your sorors that you can participate fully on some activities, but -- especially if you have to prepare for a test or do homework -- you might have to miss an event or two.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost about 50 pounds in the past three years and now look back on old photos of myself in shock. I do not know if I feel proud of how far I have come, or ashamed that I let myself be so overweight to begin with. Additionally, showing people pictures of me before I lost weight usually opens up the Pandora’s box of others not recognizing me and asking me why I decided to lose weight.

Are photos of myself from the past something I should take down in my home if I don’t want any questions about my weight loss? I used to think people would know not to ask unless I brought it up first. -- Transformer, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR TRANSFORMER: You should not take down old pictures of yourself. They are part of who you are. Be proud of your accomplishments and your journey to reach where you are today. You do not need to emphasize your weight loss or draw people over to old photos -- advice I would also give someone who had not experienced dramatic weight loss, as it’s better to steer most conversation to the present.

That said, when people transform their bodies dramatically, it is natural for others to ask what they did or how they did it. For some people, the question is personal. They want to know if they can possibly do it too. For others, it’s pure curiosity. I suggest that you stand proud of your efforts to be strong and committed to your health. You may want to add some current photos of yourself with friends enjoying your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)