DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a firefighter in my town, and my daughter constantly calls me when she is in the middle of an “emergency.” These so-called emergencies have consisted of setting off the fire alarm when making popcorn, hearing something when she is home alone and getting pulled over for speeding. When I am on duty, I need to remain available to anyone in danger. Is the public more important in these moments than my daughter? She is a teenager, but I don't want to abandon her when she's unsure of what to do. -- Smoke Signals, Tarrytown, New York

DEAR SMOKE SIGNALS: It is time for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about the boy who cried wolf. While she may be learning how to be alone and more independent as a teenager, she sounds like she is being a bit manipulative in pulling you away from work for minor challenges. Explain to her how to handle minor household emergencies. Remind her about the importance of driving safely, and make it clear that she can lose her license and her ability to use the car if she is not responsible. Assure her that you love her and want to support her in every way that you can, but point out that your job is to save lives, and you have to be on call. While she can be free to ask you to talk her through a seeming emergency, make it clear that you cannot drop everything and come whenever she calls. You may also want to find a neighbor or some responsible adult who can look out for her when she is at home alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In photos, I like to pose only on a certain side (the left). This is definitely my best angle, and I've struggled with figuring out how to ask people to move or switch with me so I can look my best in photos. What is the best way to phrase this? I don't want to sound overbearing, but I do want pictures I can be proud of. -- Cheese!, Milwaukee

DEAR CHEESE!: You are going to have to accept the reality that you will not be able to get your perfect photo angle in every picture without seeming arrogant and selfish. So you have to be strategic. When group photos begin to form naturally, you can scoot yourself over to the best location for you. You can even sometimes say that you want to be in a particular place because “this is my best side,” but don’t become obnoxious about it.

Instead, practice taking photos in different ways so that you find a few poses that make you feel comfortable. Usually, a slight movement of the chin or repositioning of the shoulders can help one’s overall look in a photo. You can practice by taking selfies alone or with a trusted friend.

In the end, I recommend relaxing and enjoying being with the people with whom you are being photographed, rather than obsessing about your perfect side.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As I am writing this, I have just gotten some free time from sorority recruitment events. After two full days of nearly nonstop events, I realized that I am falling behind on extracurriculars and schoolwork. All of my friends have made it through Greek life; however, I find it taking up all of my time. At this rate, I feel like I may have to leave my sorority. Is there any way I can try to find a balance? I tend to crash the second I don’t have to be at a mandatory event. -- Greek Grievances, St. Paul, Minnesota

DEAR GREEK GRIEVANCES: This could be a good thing for you, as the intense work requirements for your sorority are preparing you for what your work life may be like when you graduate. At the same time, you do need to learn to create boundaries, to be able to plan out your week or month and include everything, including your sorority. That said, it's not healthy when there is no endpoint and your studies and health are compromised. Evaluate your schedule, and carve out downtime as well as time for schoolwork and other activities. Tell your sorors that you can participate fully on some activities, but -- especially if you have to prepare for a test or do homework -- you might have to miss an event or two.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost about 50 pounds in the past three years and now look back on old photos of myself in shock. I do not know if I feel proud of how far I have come, or ashamed that I let myself be so overweight to begin with. Additionally, showing people pictures of me before I lost weight usually opens up the Pandora’s box of others not recognizing me and asking me why I decided to lose weight.

Are photos of myself from the past something I should take down in my home if I don’t want any questions about my weight loss? I used to think people would know not to ask unless I brought it up first. -- Transformer, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR TRANSFORMER: You should not take down old pictures of yourself. They are part of who you are. Be proud of your accomplishments and your journey to reach where you are today. You do not need to emphasize your weight loss or draw people over to old photos -- advice I would also give someone who had not experienced dramatic weight loss, as it’s better to steer most conversation to the present.

That said, when people transform their bodies dramatically, it is natural for others to ask what they did or how they did it. For some people, the question is personal. They want to know if they can possibly do it too. For others, it’s pure curiosity. I suggest that you stand proud of your efforts to be strong and committed to your health. You may want to add some current photos of yourself with friends enjoying your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an inability to ask for help, stemming from my childhood. It always makes me feel like I am either a burden or weak. Although I have identified this problem in myself, I do not know how to fix it. The obvious answer is to simply admit I need help, but my pride and fear of damaging my reputation always leave me silently struggling alone. How can I work toward admitting my flaws at home and in the workplace? -- Admitting Weaknesses, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR ADMITTING WEAKNESSES: I get that you are concerned about who to talk to about how to strengthen your skills and ask for help. You should be mindful about this. At the same time, it is clear that you must now look for a few allies. Who are the people in your world who would support you without questions or doubts? They definitely exist. You need to look once more to determine who they might be, and then reach out one by one to forge stronger bonds.

Please know that we all doubt ourselves at times, many times, and it is important to have someone you can trust to support you even in dark times. I also recommend that you consider therapy. A mental health professional may be able to support you the best through this period, as this person is trained to help people navigate tough emotional situations, and he or she is not part of your personal life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't like my engagement ring. I was surprised when I was proposed to, and I didn’t take much time to gaze at my ring. After nearly two years of looking at it, I have grown to like it less and less. The diamond is clearly beautiful, but the band is far too thick for my hands, and the design is much more retro than I’d like. Is there any way I could go about changing my engagement ring now? I have never heard of anyone doing this, and I wonder if my now-husband would even realize if I secretly did it. -- New Ring to It, Dover, Delaware

DEAR NEW RING TO IT: Instead of secretly changing your ring, bring it up to your husband. Tell him that as much as you love him, you actually wish that your engagement ring were more reflective of your personality and taste. Tell him that you want to either reimagine your ring and have it recast to your vision or design another ring that reflects who you are more accurately. Ask for his blessing and support.

Hopefully in your marriage you have had some moments where you have learned more details about each other’s traditions, preferences, styles and ideas. This is another of those topics, albeit a potentially important one. On one hand, there is the magic and fantasy of a surprise engagement accompanied by a ring. On the other is a person’s daily life. You have to strike a balance between the two and help your husband understand who you are and what your style is so that this will not appear as a rebuke.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)