DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an inability to ask for help, stemming from my childhood. It always makes me feel like I am either a burden or weak. Although I have identified this problem in myself, I do not know how to fix it. The obvious answer is to simply admit I need help, but my pride and fear of damaging my reputation always leave me silently struggling alone. How can I work toward admitting my flaws at home and in the workplace? -- Admitting Weaknesses, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR ADMITTING WEAKNESSES: I get that you are concerned about who to talk to about how to strengthen your skills and ask for help. You should be mindful about this. At the same time, it is clear that you must now look for a few allies. Who are the people in your world who would support you without questions or doubts? They definitely exist. You need to look once more to determine who they might be, and then reach out one by one to forge stronger bonds.

Please know that we all doubt ourselves at times, many times, and it is important to have someone you can trust to support you even in dark times. I also recommend that you consider therapy. A mental health professional may be able to support you the best through this period, as this person is trained to help people navigate tough emotional situations, and he or she is not part of your personal life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't like my engagement ring. I was surprised when I was proposed to, and I didn’t take much time to gaze at my ring. After nearly two years of looking at it, I have grown to like it less and less. The diamond is clearly beautiful, but the band is far too thick for my hands, and the design is much more retro than I’d like. Is there any way I could go about changing my engagement ring now? I have never heard of anyone doing this, and I wonder if my now-husband would even realize if I secretly did it. -- New Ring to It, Dover, Delaware

DEAR NEW RING TO IT: Instead of secretly changing your ring, bring it up to your husband. Tell him that as much as you love him, you actually wish that your engagement ring were more reflective of your personality and taste. Tell him that you want to either reimagine your ring and have it recast to your vision or design another ring that reflects who you are more accurately. Ask for his blessing and support.

Hopefully in your marriage you have had some moments where you have learned more details about each other’s traditions, preferences, styles and ideas. This is another of those topics, albeit a potentially important one. On one hand, there is the magic and fantasy of a surprise engagement accompanied by a ring. On the other is a person’s daily life. You have to strike a balance between the two and help your husband understand who you are and what your style is so that this will not appear as a rebuke.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My twin teenage daughters won't go to school without wearing a full face of makeup. They have woken up more than two hours before school to do their hair and makeup and to coordinate their outfits. I feel like I have no control over what they do. I was never this concerned with my image in high school. Is it too late to try to take back the reins? Smokey eyes have no place in the a.m. -- Makeup Free, Dallas

DEAR MAKEUP FREE: Before you try to turn their lives around, do an assessment of where they are in the areas that really matter. Are they doing well in school? Verify how they are managing homework, quizzes, book reports and anything else that they have to do for school. What are their extracurricular activities? Are they managing those well? Be sure to check in on each of them individually so that you have a clear understanding of where they are. If you cannot figure it out by asking them, check in with their school to find out their statuses.

If they are doing well in their studies, leave them alone. They are experimenting -- as thousands of other young teenage girls are doing. There are so many videos on YouTube with makeup application directions because teenage girls are interested. You can curb what they are doing if you feel that it’s inappropriate. Otherwise, let them experiment.

If they are slacking off in their studies, you can punish them by not allowing them to apply makeup but instead having them wake up early to study. Since this is so important to them, they will feel the blow. In order to enforce the rule, you will have to be up with them during the early study hours, checking to see that they are doing their work efficiently and with focus.

Just know that they will probably do a simple makeup application once they get to school, even if you confiscate every makeup product they have. Don’t get caught up in that. Stay in sight of the big picture.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I sustained an injury a few weeks ago, and it has been getting the best of me. I find it hard to keep my home clean, work, and still find time to rest and put ice on it. With limited mobility, I have been trying to focus on keeping myself healthy, but being surrounded by a mess only sinks my mood lower. The worst part is that I injured my right leg, which is used for driving. I have weeks to months left like this, and I feel my crabbiness rubbing off on everyone around me. How can I be upbeat when I feel like my life is on hold? -- Slowing Me Down, Tucson, Arizona

DEAR SLOWING ME DOWN: Can you ask anyone to help you out for a short period of time? That could mean anyone from a friend or a family member to a paid service. The key here is that this is temporary. You need help to stay sane and organized during your recuperation. So get it. This will help your mood and your focus on healing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I frequently hear my friend who lives in the apartment next door fighting with her boyfriend. I have seen them physically fight in the hallway through my peephole, and it is typically her who instigates this. Do I intervene in these fights? I don’t want to get them both in trouble with the law, but I am concerned for their joint safety. This relationship is dangerous for the two of them. -- Neighborly Aggression, Philadelphia

DEAR NEIGHBORLY AGGRESSION: You do not have the ability to break up a fight between your neighbors, so you should not put yourself in the middle of it. This will only make you unsafe, too. As tough as this may seem, you should call the police if you believe they are about to hurt themselves, or if they are in the midst of hurting each other.

Yes, this could lead to an awkward moment between you and your neighbor, but it is likely that you can report their behavior anonymously. You may even want to go out for a while when you report the behavior so that you are not there when the police arrive. It surely may be worth it to them for you to speak up. You would feel horrible if one of them were seriously injured or killed when you may have been able to prevent it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a home that is over 100 years old. We are undergoing a renovation project to fix the heating in the house. The workers have been leaving the door to my home open because they claim it helps save them time walking in and out of the home. The heat barely works as it is, and having doors open makes the temperature way too chilly.

These are the only professionals in my area, but I need to be firm and draw the line with them to make this project go smoothly. How do I enforce a new set of rules even though they have been working on the house for several days? -- Already Asking Nicely, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR ALREADY ASKING NICELY: If you are able to be in the house during the renovation, post yourself at the door for a bit. Whenever they go out, open the door for them. Whenever they come in, open the door for them. Whenever you aren’t right there, frequently go check the door and close it whenever it is open.

Also, remind the workers that you need their support in closing the door every time they go through it. Acknowledge that you know it may be easier for them to have an open-door policy, but remind them that leaving the door open is burning money, and you really want to have enough money to pay them and to stay warm in your house. Ask for their partnership in ensuring that they get paid and you stay healthy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)