DEAR HARRIETTE: I frequently hear my friend who lives in the apartment next door fighting with her boyfriend. I have seen them physically fight in the hallway through my peephole, and it is typically her who instigates this. Do I intervene in these fights? I don’t want to get them both in trouble with the law, but I am concerned for their joint safety. This relationship is dangerous for the two of them. -- Neighborly Aggression, Philadelphia

DEAR NEIGHBORLY AGGRESSION: You do not have the ability to break up a fight between your neighbors, so you should not put yourself in the middle of it. This will only make you unsafe, too. As tough as this may seem, you should call the police if you believe they are about to hurt themselves, or if they are in the midst of hurting each other.

Yes, this could lead to an awkward moment between you and your neighbor, but it is likely that you can report their behavior anonymously. You may even want to go out for a while when you report the behavior so that you are not there when the police arrive. It surely may be worth it to them for you to speak up. You would feel horrible if one of them were seriously injured or killed when you may have been able to prevent it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a home that is over 100 years old. We are undergoing a renovation project to fix the heating in the house. The workers have been leaving the door to my home open because they claim it helps save them time walking in and out of the home. The heat barely works as it is, and having doors open makes the temperature way too chilly.

These are the only professionals in my area, but I need to be firm and draw the line with them to make this project go smoothly. How do I enforce a new set of rules even though they have been working on the house for several days? -- Already Asking Nicely, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR ALREADY ASKING NICELY: If you are able to be in the house during the renovation, post yourself at the door for a bit. Whenever they go out, open the door for them. Whenever they come in, open the door for them. Whenever you aren’t right there, frequently go check the door and close it whenever it is open.

Also, remind the workers that you need their support in closing the door every time they go through it. Acknowledge that you know it may be easier for them to have an open-door policy, but remind them that leaving the door open is burning money, and you really want to have enough money to pay them and to stay warm in your house. Ask for their partnership in ensuring that they get paid and you stay healthy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever my boyfriend and I fight, he usually ends up throwing something and breaking it. I understand that he feels frustrated by a difficult conversation, but I end up replacing the item or making do without. I can’t exactly give my boyfriend an invoice for everything he’s ever broken! He usually breaks smaller things, like jars or television remotes. His lack of respect for my belongings in the heat of the moment just makes me angrier and escalates the fight. How can I get him to stop doing this? I know I shouldn’t try fighting fire with fire. -- Pitcher’s Arm, Cleveland

DEAR PITCHER’S ARM: Step back a moment and think about what is happening. Your boyfriend is violent. It is not normal for someone to throw and break things in the heat of an argument. It shows clear lack of control over his emotions. Someone who throws and breaks things on a regular basis is likely to hurt you in some way one day, even if it’s unintentional. You need to evaluate whether you are safe in this relationship. As confident as you may feel, I want to challenge you to look ahead to the future. What if you decide to stay with this man? What if you choose to have children with him? Will you be comfortable with him throwing things at you in the company of your children?

I know these are intense questions, but they are real. Think about your future, and then take action. You can attempt to talk to your boyfriend and make it clear that you can’t stay with him if he doesn’t stop the violence. Do yourself a favor: When you say that to him, be in a public place. You do not want him to hurt you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Do you think couples in relationships should be allowed to search through each other’s phones? I know of some couples who swear by it and do it randomly by looking through messages, calls, photos and social media on the significant other’s phone. Other couples have deemed it rude and invasive. Who is right here? Is it modern-day protocol to share phone passcodes just because you are in a relationship? -- Where’s the Line, Tupelo, Mississippi

DEAR WHERE’S THE LINE: What you are essentially asking about is trust and how you maintain it in a relationship. Sneaking and checking your partner’s emails does not seem like a trusting action. If you feel uncertain about your relationship and, therefore, feel the need to check to see what your partner is doing, that is a good sign that something is terribly wrong.

I recommend speaking to your partner first before starting your sleuthing. Be courageous and ask if there’s something you should be worried about. Directly ask if your partner wants to be involved still or if things are uncertain between you.

I will add that looking at your partner’s social media posts is certainly OK. These are public postings that anyone with permission can view. If you are blocked from your partner’s social media, that in and of itself should be a sign that something is wrong in your relationship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very invested in skin care, and am currently curating the perfect anti-aging routine. I have noticed that my teenage niece, “Shannon,” has cystic acne. She covers it up with makeup and constantly touches her face and picks at it. I was a teenager once, and I battled acne into my 20s. Could I give her my unsolicited advice? I know simple fixes that could do wonders for her skin, but I don’t want to be seen as the nosy aunt. -- Clear Skin Awaits, Tupelo, Mississippi

DEAR CLEAR SKIN AWAITS: You may remember from your teenage days that young folks don’t tend to listen to us older folks. So you have to be inventive. Think about what may have motivated you. I bet if you told your niece a story about your own personal journey, especially if you had uncontrolled acne, and how you didn’t have the products to get your skin in check, she may listen.

Talk to her. Tell her that you have learned about a regimen that can reduce acne outbreaks dramatically. If you can offer her a free trial, go for it. Demonstrate the effectiveness of the products you use, and then encourage her to try them. If she follows directions and your advice works, you will be able to help your niece and possibly bring more needy teens into the fold!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Half a year after ending a long-term relationship, a mutual friend of ours told me I was cheated on the whole relationship. I have luckily moved on from the relationship, but this makes me question the “friend” more than my ex. I just don’t understand the motivation to tell me so long after the relationship ended. Should I question her more, or just drop this? I have no intention of bringing this up with my ex. -- Old Relationship, New News, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR OLD RELATIONSHIP, NEW NEWS: If you value your friendship with this person, you should confront her. Ask her why she would choose to tell you about your ex’s indiscretions at this time. Listen to her response. Sadly, some friends feel the need to feed a fire. If her motivation is to stir the pot, you will know that she is not the kind of friend you want to have. If she has a reason for revealing this information, hear it out and decide if it is valid.

More than anything, you must tell her where you stand. Make it clear that you do not want to hear about your ex’s life, now or when he was with you. Tell your friend that you don’t understand why she chose to share such hurtful information with you so long after your breakup. Let her know that you do not consider it helpful, and that you do not want to hear any more about it. Decide to move on and to resist listening to any more stories about this man. You deserve to live in the present moment and to enjoy what comes to you now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)