DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very invested in skin care, and am currently curating the perfect anti-aging routine. I have noticed that my teenage niece, “Shannon,” has cystic acne. She covers it up with makeup and constantly touches her face and picks at it. I was a teenager once, and I battled acne into my 20s. Could I give her my unsolicited advice? I know simple fixes that could do wonders for her skin, but I don’t want to be seen as the nosy aunt. -- Clear Skin Awaits, Tupelo, Mississippi

DEAR CLEAR SKIN AWAITS: You may remember from your teenage days that young folks don’t tend to listen to us older folks. So you have to be inventive. Think about what may have motivated you. I bet if you told your niece a story about your own personal journey, especially if you had uncontrolled acne, and how you didn’t have the products to get your skin in check, she may listen.

Talk to her. Tell her that you have learned about a regimen that can reduce acne outbreaks dramatically. If you can offer her a free trial, go for it. Demonstrate the effectiveness of the products you use, and then encourage her to try them. If she follows directions and your advice works, you will be able to help your niece and possibly bring more needy teens into the fold!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Half a year after ending a long-term relationship, a mutual friend of ours told me I was cheated on the whole relationship. I have luckily moved on from the relationship, but this makes me question the “friend” more than my ex. I just don’t understand the motivation to tell me so long after the relationship ended. Should I question her more, or just drop this? I have no intention of bringing this up with my ex. -- Old Relationship, New News, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR OLD RELATIONSHIP, NEW NEWS: If you value your friendship with this person, you should confront her. Ask her why she would choose to tell you about your ex’s indiscretions at this time. Listen to her response. Sadly, some friends feel the need to feed a fire. If her motivation is to stir the pot, you will know that she is not the kind of friend you want to have. If she has a reason for revealing this information, hear it out and decide if it is valid.

More than anything, you must tell her where you stand. Make it clear that you do not want to hear about your ex’s life, now or when he was with you. Tell your friend that you don’t understand why she chose to share such hurtful information with you so long after your breakup. Let her know that you do not consider it helpful, and that you do not want to hear any more about it. Decide to move on and to resist listening to any more stories about this man. You deserve to live in the present moment and to enjoy what comes to you now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed dark bruising on random parts of my body recently. I have not done anything (like bumped my arm or leg) to get these bruises. Family and strangers have asked me where these bruises are coming from, but I don’t have answers to give them. This leads to them questioning my boyfriend and making wild accusations. These are truly random bruises! Do I have to get a physical examination to prove these bruises are harmless? -- Black, Blue and Accused, Seattle

DEAR BLACK, BLUE AND ACCUSED: Your next step is to go to your doctor with haste. It is not common for a person to suddenly experience bruising all over her body. The people who encounter you, family and strangers alike, are seeing that something is wrong. That’s because something is wrong. If you are telling the truth that your boyfriend has not been abusing you, and no one else has -- including yourself -- then it is time to run to the doctor to find out what is happening in your body to bring on the bruising.

Do not take this lightly. Your body is clearly screaming out to you for attention. Take heed. Find out what is going on and tend to yourself so that you can be healthy. And, yes, in case you wonder, there are serious conditions that cause bruising, as well as less serious ones. Find out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife's children call her by her old nickname, which is a play on their last name. Since marrying me, my wife has changed her name. I know my stepchildren do it to anger me and get under my skin. I have suggested calling her by a better nickname, and was met with snickers. How can I stop my wife’s old surname from being shouted throughout the house? I don’t like thinking about her ex-husband. -- “Mom” Only, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR “MOM” ONLY: Give up on this strategy. Your wife’s children will never let go of their father and his importance in their life. Likewise, they will likely hold onto this old moniker. By accepting it and potentially even embracing it as a nickname, you may be able to help all of them to hold on a little less tightly.

Do not put yourself in competition with your wife’s ex-husband. Instead, make your own mark. Be yourself. Build a unique relationship with each family member. Let the children know that you care about them, their happiness and their future. Assure your wife that you love her and want to grow your relationship with her children. Ask her to help you to build a bond with her children. Know that this will take time. The best way to forge this bond is with your wife’s help. Naturally, her children will be suspicious of you and possibly jealous. Together you must show them that you are a positive part of their lives. You can do it. But you must have patience.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I volunteer for a charity group a few hours a week. I do not get compensated for the work that I do, which is fine by me. However, there are conferences scheduled throughout the year that cost hundreds of dollars to attend. They are usually in a remote location and cost $200 a ticket. I feel like my work isn’t appreciated because I am made to feel left out when I don’t attend a conference. Could it be time for me to leave this charity? -- No Extemporaneous Spending, Boston

DEAR NO EXTEMPORANEOUS SPENDING: You must speak up. Many people who volunteer for charities can afford to offer their time and resources without compensation. You should not assume that your charity knows your financial circumstances. Instead of deciding that you have to leave the charity, be proactive. Speak to your supervisor, and share your desire to attend the various conferences and other activities that they host. Explain that you cannot afford to attend. You appreciate the organization tremendously, which is why you have volunteered for as long as you have, but you cannot afford to do the other activities. Ask if there is budget to send you to these events. The time may be right to ask if there is an actual job for you. Instead of walking away, find out if you can become an employee. If the organization values you and has the resources, you may have just found yourself a new paying job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is much older than I am (15 years) and just had a child. I have been asked to be my nephew’s godmother! Honestly, I am not quite sure what this position entails. I am honored, but I don’t know if being a teenage godmother is frowned upon, or if I could even fulfill whatever duties I am supposed to do. -- Godmother Duties, Tampa, Florida

DEAR GODMOTHER DUTIES: You are right to take this role seriously. When a person accepts the role of godparent, it means that you intend to help guide the child in his or her life. You agree to be a moral compass for that person, including being a sounding board as the child grows up. The goal is to be an extra support to a maturing child, someone who can reinforce the parents’ beliefs and help ensure that he or she stays safe and well-focused for a fulfilling, honorable life.

Can you do that? Sure. You should also know that this is probably a way that your brother is hoping you can become close to him and his family, despite the big age gap between you. Rather than considering this an awesome burden, think of it as an opportunity to get closer to your family and be an important contributor to your nephew. It does make a huge difference for family to bond together when a child comes into the family. Go for it. You can still enjoy your own growing up and the many twists and turns inherent in that. Being a godparent may help you to make smarter choices for your own life as well!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)