DEAR HARRIETTE: I volunteer for a charity group a few hours a week. I do not get compensated for the work that I do, which is fine by me. However, there are conferences scheduled throughout the year that cost hundreds of dollars to attend. They are usually in a remote location and cost $200 a ticket. I feel like my work isn’t appreciated because I am made to feel left out when I don’t attend a conference. Could it be time for me to leave this charity? -- No Extemporaneous Spending, Boston

DEAR NO EXTEMPORANEOUS SPENDING: You must speak up. Many people who volunteer for charities can afford to offer their time and resources without compensation. You should not assume that your charity knows your financial circumstances. Instead of deciding that you have to leave the charity, be proactive. Speak to your supervisor, and share your desire to attend the various conferences and other activities that they host. Explain that you cannot afford to attend. You appreciate the organization tremendously, which is why you have volunteered for as long as you have, but you cannot afford to do the other activities. Ask if there is budget to send you to these events. The time may be right to ask if there is an actual job for you. Instead of walking away, find out if you can become an employee. If the organization values you and has the resources, you may have just found yourself a new paying job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is much older than I am (15 years) and just had a child. I have been asked to be my nephew’s godmother! Honestly, I am not quite sure what this position entails. I am honored, but I don’t know if being a teenage godmother is frowned upon, or if I could even fulfill whatever duties I am supposed to do. -- Godmother Duties, Tampa, Florida

DEAR GODMOTHER DUTIES: You are right to take this role seriously. When a person accepts the role of godparent, it means that you intend to help guide the child in his or her life. You agree to be a moral compass for that person, including being a sounding board as the child grows up. The goal is to be an extra support to a maturing child, someone who can reinforce the parents’ beliefs and help ensure that he or she stays safe and well-focused for a fulfilling, honorable life.

Can you do that? Sure. You should also know that this is probably a way that your brother is hoping you can become close to him and his family, despite the big age gap between you. Rather than considering this an awesome burden, think of it as an opportunity to get closer to your family and be an important contributor to your nephew. It does make a huge difference for family to bond together when a child comes into the family. Go for it. You can still enjoy your own growing up and the many twists and turns inherent in that. Being a godparent may help you to make smarter choices for your own life as well!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in the fashion industry and have been seeing my clothing budget quadruple just to try to stay fashionable. Everyone in the office wears trendy new clothing, so I would feel like a bum if I were to wear the same outfit more than four or five times. I have tried reinventing outfits, but I have gotten asked if I wore that same dress yesterday. Is there any way I can save my clothing budget while remaining trendy? I hate seeing money hanging in my closet and not in my savings. -- Fashion Week Every Week, Manhattan, New York

DEAR FASHION WEEK EVERY WEEK: Follow your heart, and do not spend all your money on clothing. Instead, build a wardrobe with key basic separates while adding a few signature accessories to spice up your look. It could be a necklace, earrings, a scarf or belt. Develop a narrative to go along with your wardrobe. Tell your co-workers you are following the French style of dressing, which means you may have one or two key wardrobe items upon which you build. In Europe, it is common for people to wear the same look twice in a week! Talk about quality versus quantity. Tell your friends, only when asked, that you seek out great pieces rather than constantly seeking out new pieces. Wear your wardrobe proudly. Do not flaunt your savings, but keep putting money in savings and investments. In the end, because you will have held the long view, you will have created space for your future to be solid. Rest well knowing you are being smart, even if your co-workers tease you sometimes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I caught my daughter smoking marijuana outside my home while she thought I was walking the dog. This wasn’t just a regular cigarette filled with marijuana; she had a complete glass contraption. I have never smoked in my life, and I thought my daughter was following in my footsteps. She has graduated from college, has a full-time job and is saving up to move from home. I would’ve never thought she could be so successful while being a “stoner.” What is an appropriate punishment for this situation? She is 22 years old. -- Under My Roof, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR UNDER MY ROOF: Now is the time to tread lightly. It is hard to punish an adult. Heck, it’s hard to punish a teenager effectively. What you want to do is talk to your daughter and find out what’s going on with her. You should know that many young (and older) people smoke from a bong, which is what that glass contraption is. This doesn’t mean it’s good -- or legal, in your state.

You certainly have the right to require that she not smoke at your house. But I suggest that you go deeper. Try to find out why she’s smoking. For some, it is pure recreation. For many young adults who have moved back home, the time can be extremely difficult. They want to be independent but are not. Smoking weed can be an escape. Tell your daughter you want her to succeed, you don’t want her to smoke weed at all and definitely not at your house, and you want to support her transition to her independent life as a responsible adult. Make a plan together that you both work to enforce.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that I am isolating myself more and more. I prefer spending hours on social media and watching videos on the internet to reaching out to friends and meeting up in person. I have also stopped seeing my therapist, who was a primary source of my human interaction. I live far from family and I don’t have a girlfriend. How can I stop this loneliness before it takes a huge toll on my social health? -- Couch Potato, Denver

DEAR COUCH POTATO: You already know what you need to do first: Schedule an appointment with your therapist. You have cut off the lifeline that helps you to find balance in your life. Whatever your reason for ending that, figure out how to re-engage. If it’s the cost, ask your therapist to work with you on a fee reduction or to refer you to someone else who may be able to charge less.

Next, think about what you have enjoyed doing in your spare time. Even if it feels like your feet are stuck in quicksand, promise yourself that you will do one thing outside of your home per week that involves other people. That could be taking a walk in the local park, taking a class, going to the movies -- anything. Force yourself to go out. While you are out, look around and notice friendly faces. Choose someone who looks approachable, and strike up a conversation. But first, call your therapist! Oh, yes, you can also schedule weekly calls with family members to keep in close touch with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have been divorced for nearly two decades. Recently, each has separately told me that they refuse to be in the same room together. I tried to investigate what led to this declaration, but I have gotten no answers. I think they are being ridiculous and dramatic, as does my sister. Can I not invite either parent to family gatherings? I don’t want to have to pick a favorite and give into their immature bickering. -- Grow Up, Cincinnati

DEAR GROW UP: Join forces with your sister and invite your parents to a family meeting. Tell them that you need to talk to them. Even if you have to invite them separately for a surprise private meeting with the two of you, do it.

When your parents arrive, ask them to listen to you before reacting. Present to them some facts: They created the family that produced the two of you. You do not want to choose between them in order to have a family experience. You want to include them in your family life as long as they are alive. You need them to behave as civil adults. You do not want to navigate the land mines of their energy in trying to create a wholesome family experience. Beg them to figure out how to be able to put aside their personal differences so that they can support their children in their current lives.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)