DEAR HARRIETTE: I have lived with my parents while pursuing my college education. Now that I am about to graduate in May, I want to become independent as soon as possible. I have worked and paid for my share of the house during this time. My parents don’t know how to manage money and would certainly come knocking if they saw my meager savings account. How much should I have saved up to move out on my own? I have never lived alone before. -- Spread My Wings, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR SPREAD MY WINGS: You can keep your savings information to yourself. That is your business. It is good that you contribute to your family household, as you should, until you move out. Financial experts recommend that people have at least six months’ salary saved so that they are prepared for job loss for any reason. You haven’t started your career yet, so you will have to use different criteria. Look for an apartment in the area where you want to live. How much is the rent? Electricity? Your cellphone? Wardrobe needs? Food? Itemize whatever you imagine you have to spend monthly in order to live independently. If possible, save up six months’ worth of that before you leave home. Obviously, you want to have a job, too. When you do leave, thank your parents for their generosity and loving support. If you ever are able to help them financially, by all means do so. Remember how much they have done for you, and be generous.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This inauguration had my students very upset. I teach in an area with many immigrants, due to the abundance of dairy farms. While I keep my political views outside of the classroom, I want to somehow comfort them about the next four years. How can I boost morale during this divisive time? I hate seeing so many children influenced by their parents' political views. -- Sad Class, Dallas

DEAR SAD CLASS: Your students may be facing more than just their parents’ political views. If they are Dreamers -- children of people who came to this company illegally who are themselves not American -- they run the risk of being deported, should the clemency that was being developed to protect Dreamers be eradicated. This is a tricky issue that is extremely volatile on all sides. Your students should be worried, even though their angst surely doesn’t help you to train their minds and inspire them to dream about their futures.

What can you do? Tell them that you will do whatever you can to build their minds so that they are prepared to face the world with knowledge and confidence. You can also pledge to pay attention to what happens with government rulings so that their parents are informed. What you cannot do is make any promises about what the future holds for them. This is true for all of your students. All you can do is prepare them the best you can in the present moment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that high school never ends. Years after graduating, one of the “mean girls” in my grade reached out to me. She was asking about my experience volunteering at an organization and wondered if I could recommend her. I haven’t responded yet, and I am unsure if I should even bother. Do I give this mean girl the benefit of the doubt? I haven’t even seen her in years. -- New Leaf, Towson, Maryland

DEAR NEW LEAF: This simple call has clearly unnerved you. Before you do anything, take a moment to observe how you feel after having been reached by a “mean girl” from your past. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable recommending her for anything. This would require you being able to speak to the woman’s character, given that you wouldn’t know about her work ethics.

Finally, do you feel capable of confronting her about her behavior toward you when you were younger? If you do not feel strong enough, interested enough or prepared to stand up to this woman, you should leave it alone. I can tell you, though, that if you are able to have an honest conversation where you claim your power as an adult and do not let her get under your skin, you will have the opportunity to tell her how rude and mean she was during your youth, how you didn’t appreciate her behavior toward you and that you need to know more about who she has become before you would ever consider recommending her for anything. Just be sure to listen after you state your case.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I baby-sit for a child who is afraid of the dark -- so much so that he prolongs bedtime for hours. There have been times his parents have come home, and he is still awake. They are unhappy, and I am unsure of what to do. Their son isn’t well behaved, and has threatened to tell his parents I beat him if I try to keep him in his room. The cash I make from this gig is great, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around if his parents come home to him running around at 11 p.m. Should I explain to them why he isn’t sleeping and why I am not more forceful with him? -- Lights Off, Denver

DEAR LIGHTS OFF: Try helping this child get to sleep with the lights on. Stop fighting him. Whatever his psychological issue is, you are not equipped to handle that, but you can attempt to allow for what he says is an impediment. Sit with him in a dimly lit room that is still illuminated. Read a book with him. Sing songs with him. Figure out fun, quiet things you can do together that will occupy his mind without stimulating him.

If he continues to misbehave, figure out a way to record his behavior without his knowledge. Use your cellphone or another small recorder that is out of his line of sight. Then present the footage to his parents so they can see for themselves how uncontrollable he is. Ask the parents for guidance on how to manage their child better.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: When someone passes away in this day and age, it is a little unnerving that all of their social media gets left behind.

There was a younger student who passed in my community whose family uses his social media accounts to post sad messages such as “Bobby would've loved this weather!” on warm days. Is it immoral to delete this account from my friends list? I don't want to dishonor the dead, but I feel as though they are misusing the account. -- Sad Status, Milwaukee

DEAR SAD STATUS: You have touched upon a new dilemma that many are facing. For one, the fact that a friend or family member had one or more social media outlets that remain open and potentially active can be both unnerving and oddly comforting for loved ones who are left behind. In the early days of a person’s death, these points of contact can be useful as they may be the way that loved ones learn about a person’s passing, details of the memorial service and other immediate considerations. Beyond that, it is true that sometimes family and friends keep the pages going. This has a lot to do with not being able to let go.

For each grieving person, the process is different as to how long you hold on to these connections that no longer are directly between you and the person who is now gone. You must gauge for yourself when you no longer want to hear from others who loved the person. Know that you have no reason to feel bad when you do let go. Ultimately, you have to live your life and be present for yourself and the people who are alive with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After unsuccessful freelancing attempts, I have begun working for the family business. I started off with an hourly wage, but now I am in talks of receiving a salary. I don't know how to charge my own family. I also don't know how to even begin calculating how much I am “worth.” -- Business Meets Family, Little Rock, Arkansas

DEAR BUSINESS MEETS FAMILY: Especially when you begin to work in a family business, is it incumbent upon you to do your research in every way. Learn everything you can about the industry that your family is in. Discover how your family’s business compares to similar businesses in your town, state and in the country. Figure out what the average salaries are for employees in a range of jobs that your company offers, particularly the one that you will be filling.

Be clear about what you have to offer to the family business so that you are properly matched in the company to support a successful engagement. When you present the salary that you believe best represents your value and contribution along with what the market considers fair, you will be better able to support your argument for this amount and inspire your family to view the company through this professional lens as well. Good luck!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)