DEAR HARRIETTE: While driving my mother’s car to pick up my sister from the train station, I slid on black ice and hit the car in front of me. There was no way to avoid the incident, and I was shaken up. The other car was not damaged. When I came home, my mother did not ask if I was OK. She just cried about how she's going to get to work while the bumper gets repaired. This bothered me because she could've gone to pick up my sister and experienced the same situation. Insurance is covering the cost of repair. Should I offer to pay the deductible? -- Crashing, Roanoke, Virginia
DEAR CRASHING: It would be kind of you to offer to pay the deductible for the insurance. But your issue is something quite different. Your feelings are hurt because your mother did not seem to care about your well-being when you came home from the accident. She seemed to overstep you and immediately worried about her car and her livelihood. It may be that she unconsciously did that after she could see that you were OK. But you may want to tell her how you feel so that she can slow down for a moment and let the whole situation register. Ask her if you can tell her about the accident and how terrifying it was. Be sure to tell her that it hurt your feelings that she did not ask about how you were.