DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a baby sitter who is allergic to cats. For new families, I won't know if they have a cat until I get to the house, and sometimes I'm not prepared with non-drowsy medication. I have had problems when I have gone to baby-sit, and it has caused me difficulty breathing. Then it’s hard for me to take care of the children. Can I ask these families for Benadryl before they go out? I would feel bad rummaging through their cabinets looking for medication while having a reaction. -- Swollen Eyes, Washington, D.C.

DEAR SWOLLEN EYES: Since you know that you are allergic to cats and have already had the occasion to work with families who have cats, it is incumbent upon you to be prepared. You should travel with Benadryl. Keep it in your bag so that you are always ready to take care of yourself. As one who is troubled by many allergies, I can assure you that the best thing you can do for your health is to be proactive.

With that in mind, there are a few other things you should do when you learn that a family with whom you are working has a cat. Ask where the cat sleeps, perches, etc. Determine exactly which furniture the cat uses so that you never sit on it. (I made the mistake of not asking that question once and slept where a cat commonly naps. I could barely breathe when I woke up in the middle of the night.)

Finally, if you do find yourself in a home with cats and you do not have Benadryl, immediately ask if the homeowners have any. It should be a last resort to go through their cabinets.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends is an incredible pianist. I used to take lessons as a child and have retained barely any information. Can I ask my friend to give me music lessons? I don't want to make him uncomfortable about asking for a freebie, but I don't want to insult him if I offer to pay. -- Wannabe Mozart, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR WANNABE MOZART: How fortunate you are to have a friend who is a pianist. Does your friend teach? As you probably know, being a pianist and teaching others to play the piano are two very different things. If you already have knowledge that your friend teaches, then it could be fine to ask if you could hire him to give you lessons. It is appropriate to ask to pay for professional services. It would be inappropriate to ask a professional to give you services for free.

If you are unsure as to whether your friend teaches, you would be better off to ask for a referral. You can tell him that you studied piano as a child and he has inspired you to take lessons as an adult. Find out if he can recommend a teacher who would be a good fit for you as a beginner. If he volunteers himself, all the better.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I tell my daughter to never use her cellphone on the road, not even for a second. It is the law, and texting while driving causes countless deaths. She retorts that using it for navigation is different, but I still think it's a dangerous distraction. I'd rather have her use the car’s navigation. Is using the phone as a GPS a loophole for the law? -- No Distractions, Baltimore

DEAR NO DISTRACTIONS: The law requires that drivers never use cellphones when they are driving. There are not supposed to be exceptions to that rule. You are right to be concerned about your daughter’s cellphone use, primarily because people break that law so often. But there is a way to use the GPS navigation on the phone effectively and within the parameters of the law. By setting up the GPS before driving and then linking it through Bluetooth in your car, she will not need to use her hands to get directions or even to answer the phone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dog is a small Chihuahua mix and hates being outside in this winter weather. People think I torture her when I take her on walks because she shakes and looks petrified. I make her wear a coat, but I still get judgmental looks and comments from strangers in my dog-loving city. She can't do her business in the house. How do I defend myself when my dog looks tortured in temperatures below 40 degrees? -- Walking in the Snow, Boston

DEAR WALKING IN THE SNOW: One of the challenges that owners of exotic dogs have is getting them acclimated to the climate in which they live. This can be tricky in a case like yours. Chihuahuas are native to Mexico, a country that is typically tropical in climate, or at least very warm. Chihuahuas are typically very small dogs with little body weight, so it is unsurprising that they would be cold walking outside in inclement, cold weather. This is why many Chihuahua owners (as well as owners of other small, short-haired dogs) buy doggy gloves and coats to help protect them from the elements. You say you already do put a coat on your dog. Consider a heavier one -- for the dog’s sake, not for the onlookers. In some instances, dog owners carry the dogs to the park or wherever they take them to relieve themselves and put them on the ground to do their business.

When it’s really cold, you may want to put a pad outside your home so that the dog can relieve itself without a true walk. You can also check with your dog’s veterinarian to learn the best recommendations for protecting the dog in the winter months. After you have done what is suggested, feel confident that you can walk with conviction, knowing that you are properly caring for your dog. If others give you the side eye, ignore them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers is from the U.K. “Grant” is well-liked, but he can occasionally go too far with his jokes. Whenever others bristle at his humor, Grant huffs and claims that American humor is just not as developed as his British humor. While this may be true and open to interpretation, there is no denying he offends whoever ends up as the butt of the joke. Should there be more pressure on Grant to apologize, or does he get a pass because we apparently can't understand his sense of humor? -- Cross-Atlantic Comedy, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR CROSS-ATLANTIC COMEDY: Americans tend to be enamored with people from other countries, England specifically, as well as much of Europe. The accents along with the general differences and similarities of culture and experience can prove hypnotizing for some -- at least until the love affair takes a wrong turn. This frequently happens when nuances in humor enter the picture.

Your co-worker should not get a pass for what sounds and feels like insulting repartee. If you or your co-workers continue to be uncomfortable because of the ways in which Grant verbally jabs at you, speak up and tell him. Be specific. Let him know that you find his stories about his homeland fascinating and that you do enjoy learning about his culture, but, conversely, make it clear that you do not appreciate some of the indecorous commentary that he targets at you when he gets caught up in his jokes. Ask him to tone it down.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Of my three daughters, my two youngest are actresses. I realized I've been neglecting the oldest one, "Lacey," when we sit down to dinner, and I had no clue what was going on in her preteen world. I drive the two youngest to auditions, casting calls and the occasional modeling shoot. My husband tends to look after Lacey. I don't want this to be an irreparable rift in our mother-daughter relationship. How can I spend more time with Lacey when I'm already trying to be supermom, without boring her as a chauffeur? -- Mother-Daughter Time, Cincinnati

DEAR MOTHER-DAUGHTER TIME: Take a step back and evaluate your engagement of your children. Talk to your husband about your concerns. Discuss how the two of you can better balance the ways that you interact with all your children. It would also be wise for you to give up your “supermom” complex. No matter what you do, it is not possible to be perfect. Instead of striving for the impossible, think about each of your daughters, what you can do to make it clear that you actively care about her well-being and what you can do to demonstrate that you are paying attention.

Consider swapping days when you and your husband act as chauffeur. Carve out time once a week, at least, when you have one-on-one time with your preteen. She is at a vulnerable time in her life when close parental observation is hard but extremely important. Do not give up. Each of your children needs your loving attention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)