DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers is from the U.K. “Grant” is well-liked, but he can occasionally go too far with his jokes. Whenever others bristle at his humor, Grant huffs and claims that American humor is just not as developed as his British humor. While this may be true and open to interpretation, there is no denying he offends whoever ends up as the butt of the joke. Should there be more pressure on Grant to apologize, or does he get a pass because we apparently can't understand his sense of humor? -- Cross-Atlantic Comedy, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR CROSS-ATLANTIC COMEDY: Americans tend to be enamored with people from other countries, England specifically, as well as much of Europe. The accents along with the general differences and similarities of culture and experience can prove hypnotizing for some -- at least until the love affair takes a wrong turn. This frequently happens when nuances in humor enter the picture.

Your co-worker should not get a pass for what sounds and feels like insulting repartee. If you or your co-workers continue to be uncomfortable because of the ways in which Grant verbally jabs at you, speak up and tell him. Be specific. Let him know that you find his stories about his homeland fascinating and that you do enjoy learning about his culture, but, conversely, make it clear that you do not appreciate some of the indecorous commentary that he targets at you when he gets caught up in his jokes. Ask him to tone it down.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Of my three daughters, my two youngest are actresses. I realized I've been neglecting the oldest one, "Lacey," when we sit down to dinner, and I had no clue what was going on in her preteen world. I drive the two youngest to auditions, casting calls and the occasional modeling shoot. My husband tends to look after Lacey. I don't want this to be an irreparable rift in our mother-daughter relationship. How can I spend more time with Lacey when I'm already trying to be supermom, without boring her as a chauffeur? -- Mother-Daughter Time, Cincinnati

DEAR MOTHER-DAUGHTER TIME: Take a step back and evaluate your engagement of your children. Talk to your husband about your concerns. Discuss how the two of you can better balance the ways that you interact with all your children. It would also be wise for you to give up your “supermom” complex. No matter what you do, it is not possible to be perfect. Instead of striving for the impossible, think about each of your daughters, what you can do to make it clear that you actively care about her well-being and what you can do to demonstrate that you are paying attention.

Consider swapping days when you and your husband act as chauffeur. Carve out time once a week, at least, when you have one-on-one time with your preteen. She is at a vulnerable time in her life when close parental observation is hard but extremely important. Do not give up. Each of your children needs your loving attention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman was introduced to my circle at our club. She seemed great and spoke about how her worldview had changed since marrying a Spaniard. I asked where she was from, and she told me she was born and raised in Connecticut. I nearly laughed out loud -- she speaks with a fake Spanish accent!

This woman claims she picked up the accent from her husband, but they have been together for only five years. Can I call her out on this bizarre behavior, or is it easier to label her a loony? -- Not Your Accent, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR NOT YOUR ACCENT: Leave the woman alone. Don’t call her out on anything. Resist the temptation to tease her about her accent, too. Maybe her worldview really has changed, and she is trying her best to assimilate to her husband’s way of living, being and speaking.

I totally get that her fake accent could rub you the wrong way, but remember this is her life. You are peripheral to it. Instead of judging her, listen to her stories. If you choose to get to know her, listen to learn what her experiences were as a child growing up in Connecticut. What did she like? What does she wish to forget? Even more, how did she meet her husband? What drew them to each other? Clearly, she is immersed in him. His way of living is deeply informing who she wants to be. Be kind to her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have terrible difficulty sleeping. I have stared at my ceiling for hours without feeling tired at all. Melatonin no longer works for me, and my husband thinks I should go to a sleep clinic. I don't think this restlessness is worth spending thousands on to diagnose. I suspect he is getting frustrated by me keeping him up. Would it be terrible to sleep in different rooms until I figure out my sleeplessness? -- Solo Mission, Gainesville, Florida

DEAR SOLO MISSION: Guess what? There could be at least two rights in your story! You should heed your husband’s advice and see a doctor. Not being able to sleep is not a small thing. Every human being needs adequate sleep in order to stay healthy. Do not take your sleeplessness lightly. Investigate to discover what is at the root of your insomnia.

On your own, you can eliminate or greatly reduce caffeine and sugar, especially in the evening. Turn off all electronics hours before you go to bed. Quiet yourself to the best of your ability long before you turn off the light.

While you are figuring out how to stabilize your sleep, a thoughtful alternative to your current sleeping arrangements could be to sleep in another room. You can suggest this option to your husband as a way to protect him from your restlessness. Many couples, even in these modern times, live in separate rooms for this very reason. But do your marriage a favor and don’t stay in that other room indefinitely without agreeing on a mutually acceptable plan.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has three adult sons. They grew up without a mother and were all athletes, so this leads to some ... odor issues. They walk into the home when they visit and kick off their shoes, and it makes the whole foyer smell like an '80s gym. Where could we move the shoes as to not offend everyone's nose without offending the brothers? -- Whiff of Fresh Air, Rockland County, New York

DEAR WHIFF OF FRESH AIR: Do you have a mud room? You could ask your stepsons to deposit their shoes there. But honestly, you are probably going to have to say something. It’s kind of like that Febreze commercial: They are probably nose-blind to their foot funk. If you don’t tell them why you are banishing their shoes to another area, you will not likely meet with success.

You can consider using humor, saying, “Boys, you are killing me with those feet. Give me your socks so I can wash them while you’re here.” Or some such. It’s likely that their socks and shoes are dirty. For their shoes, you could sprinkle baking powder or a foot powder to help neutralize the odor. Bottom line: you have to address this head on, or it probably won’t work. When you bring up the awkward conversation, tell them you mean no offense but you need to help them out on this one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter cannot pick a direction in college. She is nearly halfway through school. "Jenna" says she is still “finding herself” and has switched majors more times than I can count. Back in my day, there was none of this waiting around. I fear since she has been taking random classes, she will have to stay in college longer. I am paying the tuition! How can I force my daughter to become set on a goal and not let it go? -- Choose Your Path Wisely, Syracuse, New York

DEAR CHOOSE YOUR PATH WISELY: It is not unusual for a college student to flounder before settling on a direction. Your job as a parent is to help nudge her along. Being practical can help a lot. Tell your daughter that you cannot afford for her to go to college beyond the traditional four years, so she must choose a path so that she will be able to graduate on time. Talk her through what it costs to go to college in case she ends up needing to be there for more time, so that she can determine how to get financial aid and what her overall strategy will be to succeed.

This is a water-in-your-face kind of experience for your daughter. For her to come to terms with what it takes to go to college and for her to have skin in the game may wake her up to greater focus. Be sure to let her know that she can choose an area of interest and pursue it, and after she has given it a try, if she wants to do something else she can change. For now, though, she must decide.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)