DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a large house and clean it all myself. After the holidays, I walked into my stepdaughter’s bathroom and saw that she had left towels on the floor like you would in a hotel to let housekeeping know they are dirty. I could not believe my eyes. She is nearly 30 years old, and she does not know how to clean up after herself. Should I tell my husband about his daughter’s horrible manners? -- Not Your Maid, Atlanta

DEAR NOT YOUR MAID: Rather than telling your husband about his daughter, start one-on-one with her. Engage your stepdaughter in a positive manner, and ask her if you two can have a chat. When you have her undivided attention, tell her that you need her to support your household by keeping things tidy. Point out that you clean your home without the aid of any hired help, so you need everyone who lives there or who spends time there to pull their own weight. Let her know that you noticed towels on the floor in her bathroom. Ask her to take a different approach in the future: Either hang them up, or put them in the dirty clothes hamper. Better still, invite her to wash them.

Next, go through a list of chores that you want her to be responsible for fulfilling while she is in your home. Be kind and positive, but also very clear. Follow up with your husband by telling him what occurred and how you chose to handle it. Ask him to support you in your efforts to keep the house clean.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has gotten into the habit of blasting workout music even though he has perfectly good headphones. We have a few pieces of exercise equipment in the basement, and I got him headphones so he can lift weights while keeping the noise limited to the basement. The last thing I want to hear in the morning is heavy bass and rap music. My son refuses to budge and says this is how he motivates himself to get fit. What can I do to restore my sanity while keeping my son happy? -- 7 a.m. DJ, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR 7 A.M. DJ: Set ground rules at home. Celebrate your son for his commitment to fitness as you let him know that he cannot play music audibly until after an allotted time that works for you, whatever that is. If he suggests that you are impeding his fitness progress, give him the option of working out at a gym or at home wearing earphones. Until he owns his own home, he must abide by your rules, including respecting your desire for peace and quiet in the early morning.

Your job is to teach and remind your son about respect and boundaries. His job, in his mind, is to push the boundaries. Push back, and do not budge. Define consequences if he ignores you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate being surprised with presents. This Christmas, I received a pair of goggles (I ski) that I hate. They are bright pink and offer no UV protection. The gift didn't come with a gift receipt, just the spoken wish that I would wear them. What do I do with these goggles now? I would feel so wasteful throwing them out, but I do not need another pair, especially ones that don't protect my eyes and skin. -- Unhappy Skier, Westchester, New York

DEAR UNHAPPY SKIER: You can soften your thoughts about this gift knowing that the person who gave it to you did attempt to think about what you might like. Clearly, the person knows that you ski. It is also clear that this person does not ski, thus no UV protection, and also doesn't know your style, thus the color pink.

No, you don't need to wear the goggles. What you can do is give them to the ski lodge where you commonly ski. Perhaps they have spares for people who forget theirs. Or give them to the local Goodwill in your favorite ski town.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Like most Americans, I am suffering from holiday weight gain. From Thanksgiving through Christmas, I probably ate my weight in food a few times over. I want to make a weight loss resolution I can actually stick to. I don't want to be in the hordes of people pledging to go to the gym; instead, I want a buddy to do this with me. How can I ask a friend to join my weight-loss journey without implying that they should lose weight? -- Holiday Miss Piggy, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR HOLIDAY MISS PIGGY: Congratulations on wanting to make healthier choices in the new year. You are like many people who ate too much over the last couple of months. Doing something about it takes dedication and commitment. Sure, you could ask a friend to work out with you. And you can do that without offending your friend by saying that you need moral support. Explain that if your friend would be willing to walk, run, go to the gym or do some other physical activity with you, you think you would have a better chance of succeeding at your goal of losing weight.

But don't stop there. While a friend's support can help, most of all you need to make up your mind that you will do this for yourself. Next, schedule your workout routines. If you literally put down dates and times each week when you intend to work out, you will make it easier for you to stick to a schedule.

If you need to get more support, consider recording your fitness activities daily on social media. Like a diary, you could record your progress and also your shortcomings -- in whatever detail feels comfortable. Chances are that you will have people cheering you on and consoling you on the tough days. Bottom line: Do you! Get fit. You can do it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my work holiday party, I ended up taking shots with my co-workers and other employees from different departments. We all had a great time, and my boss even ordered us a hearty lunch for our hangovers. I've never had a holiday party like this one. For future celebrations, am I expected to let as loose as I did at the holiday party? Everyone at this company loves to party! -- Fashion District, Manhattan, New York

DEAR FASHION DISTRICT: You should do what you can handle, and nothing more. The good news about your job is that your boss seemed to take care of the staff even after seemingly encouraging everyone to drink up. This does not mean that you should let your guard down and decide to be overly indulgent in the future, though. If you have the wherewithal to keep your wits about you at any office function, use that to your advantage. You can become the one who helps to ensure that nobody gets hurt. You can be the team protector. You don't need to make a fuss of this. Just keep your eyes open so that you are always alert and prepared to take care of yourself and support your team.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am lucky enough to be taking a tropical vacation this winter. After some research, I learned that there are topless beaches on the island I will be visiting. Although I will not be taking advantage of that, I assumed that this meant I could wear a G-string on the beach to not have unfavorable tan lines. My fiance said that the topless opportunity only extended to the top half of the body. Are there any rules or common etiquette for a situation like this? -- Top On, Rochester, New York

DEAR TOP ON: The rules around topless and nude beaches vary a bit from place to place, although the idea is that there is a level of freedom for women to be without a top on a topless beach. On a nude beach, women and men are welcome to go completely without clothing.

As far as a G-string goes, wearing scanty bikini bottoms is not the same thing as being naked. You can wear a G-string at a topless beach. What is also often true at many topless and nude beaches is that some people come to these beaches without disrobing. First-timers can often wear some kind of covering. At a topless beach, this could also mean wearing a bathing suit until you reach your spot on the beach and then removing your top when you lie down.

On a broader note, you and your fiance should talk about your values and beliefs about dress and states of undress in public. Since you don't want to make the choice to go topless and your boyfriend isn't into a G-string, you may want to rethink going to the topless beach. I'll bet there are plenty of regular beaches where you are headed. That is, unless you two decide to explore together without reservation and see what you experience!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)