DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepfather recently contacted me about an extra dresser that is in my parent's home. He told me that I could have it, seeing as no one else wants it and there is no space for it in the home. I was happy to have a project and made it clear that I planned on painting it and upcycling the piece. The day before I picked up the dresser, my stepfather called me, strongly suggesting that I stain the wood instead of my plan. I don't want furniture with strings attached. Should I just leave this dresser? -- Don't Tell Me What to Do, Detroit

DEAR DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO: Take a deep breath and relax. Absolutely do accept the dresser, and thank your stepfather for thinking of you. Also thank him for sharing his advice for how to upcycle the dresser. Tell him you will take his ideas into consideration as you make your plan.

Your stepfather likely was thinking about how best to support you and came up with a plan that he thought would make the dresser more appealing and potentially more valuable. Men are solution-oriented, and often the way that they show their love is to give advice. Yes, it can often come across as critical and bossy. If you are able to look beyond what feels like controlling behavior and remember that your stepfather is trying to help you, it will be easier to experience gratitude, and you will be more comfortable deciding what to do with the furniture and letting him know your decision. He is not the enemy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Throughout the holiday season, I have witnessed guests asking for a tour of the home they are in. I find this to be completely rude, although some hosts graciously lead guests around their homes. I fear this will happen to me, and I definitely do not want to show people my bedroom if not necessary. My home is clean. I am just private and host on one floor only. If faced with the demand for a tour, how can I deter the guest from checking out my home? -- Private Floor, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

DEAR PRIVATE FLOOR: Relax. You get to show people what you want in your home. And you can comfortably stand your ground. Indeed, try being proactive. When folks come to visit, invite them to come into the rooms where they are welcome. You can point out highlights in those rooms, such as family photos, a stereo system, dining table, etc. If someone asks you about seeing the rest of your home, simply tell them that you entertain on this floor only. If they persist, you can say, "Sorry, but this is the only floor where I invite my guests. Please enjoy yourselves." And let that be that. You can even put up a little fence at the doorway or stair entry -- the kind used to prevent children or pets from entering a space. That sends a clear, unspoken message.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in high school, and I don't want to become like my big sister. She is my only sibling, and she turned into a party girl in high school. She now goes to a nearby college and commutes. It was her only option after getting dismissed from her first university. I want to continue my athletic career and hope that, in a few years' time, I will be good enough to receive a scholarship for a private university that my family can afford. My sister loves to chime in with advice, but I honestly use her as the poster child of what I DON'T want to be. What do I say when she asks me how my applications to community college are going? -- Not Like You, Denver

DEAR NOT LIKE YOU: Start by talking to your guidance counselor at your high school to get a sense of what your options are for college. Tell him or her your intentions, and learn which schools typically offer scholarships for athletics and academics at your grade point level. Ask for specific guidance on how to search for scholarships that match your profile.

Talk to your parents about what they can afford. Ask them to be forthcoming so that you are clear about what you will have at your disposal. Also find out if they would be willing to co-sign student loans for you if you need additional support.

With all of that information, you can speak confidently to your sister. Without being dismissive of your sister's behavior and subsequent academic limitations, outline your plan when you answer her. Explain the research you have done and the subsequent path you are following. If she continues to ask about community college, tell her that you will apply there if you find you need to do so.

FYI: Many students -- including academically solid ones -- choose community college as a first step because it provides an affordable leg up on the path to higher education.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't like to tell people how I get my weekend gigs. I originally got started through a job website, but now I travel through recommendations. I typically work with setting up and serving through parties, and make a few hundred bucks for the day. I have stayed mum about these jobs except to a few friends who evidently told the world. Now, I have acquaintances who are strapped for cash contacting me. This is my own hustle. I don't have to tell them where I started, right? -- My Niche, Atlanta

DEAR MY NICHE: Rather than sharing your specific resources, why not tell them your general process? There should be enough work around that you don't have to hide your good fortune. Recommend, too, that they think of what they can do well and then search around on the internet for a match.

In the future, don't talk about your creative work options if you don't want others to know. As you see, telling one person can easily mean telling all. One other note: If you have an individual friend who you think you can safely recommend to your personal network of employment, do so. But be mindful that your reputation is at stake each time you give a person your seal of approval.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suffer from very sweaty palms. Regardless of the temperature or environment I am in, this embarrassing condition follows me. As you can understand, I hate introducing myself to people because of the expected handshake. Is there any way to keep etiquette standards while not wiping my sweat on the other person's palm? -- Soaked, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR SOAKED: For health reasons, I want to encourage you to get a physical. On occasion, sweaty palms could point to health concerns that you should have checked out. Beyond that, get practical. Keep a handkerchief in your pocket, and wipe your hand briefly before offering it to shake -- even at impromptu moments. Before going into the public, wipe your hands, then use a bit of talcum powder on them. Powder can help to absorb some of the excess moisture on your hands.

If you cannot figure out how to get them dry, resort to alternative handshakes. Depending upon the circumstances, you might use the now-popular fist bump, which keeps your palm covered. You could nod and do a slight bow. Yes, these things could feel awkward, but people often figure out alternative ways to engage people in social rituals that can work for them. You can get creative and find your own greeting that keeps everybody dry!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be very chubby. My family and friends teased me incessantly. I think my family made their comments to try to get me to eat better and be healthier. My friends? Forget about it. They were just mean. Anyhow, now I exercise for at least an hour every day. I'm just 17, but it's already paying off. I see real results, even though I have a long way to go.

My sister thinks it is funny to videotape me while I work out to scare me. She posts these videos so her friends can see, and they embarrass me. Sometimes I am not wearing a shirt! I am a boy, so the standards are different, but I still don't know how to get her to stop doing this. The madder I get, the funnier she thinks it is. -- Losing Patience, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR LOSING PATIENCE: It's time to engage a parent. Yes, I said it! If your sister is unwilling to draw the line between public and private even after you have made it clear that you do not want to be filmed or shared on social media and she does it anyway -- in your home -- you have to exercise your privacy rights with the leading authorities -- your parents.

Whoever you engage for help, go for it now. You should be able to exercise in the privacy of your home wearing whatever you choose without fear of being publicly humiliated. If your adults don't help you, start locking your door or finding other places to work out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)