DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenager is in his "musician phase," as I call it. He has been plucking away at a guitar and singing for weeks now. He is a sweet boy, but he is an untrained musician. This has been driving the whole family nuts. I want him to keep it down, but he told me he's writing a love song for a girl. I am torn between supporting him and saving my sanity. Can I banish him to the garage without seeming too harsh? -- Serenading, Detroit

DEAR SERENADING: This is why we have garages! Seriously, you have every right to manage the noise in your home, even as you work to support your son. Give him hours when he cannot play because he will disturb the people inside the house and the neighbors. If you can offer him the garage as a respite, fantastic. Just be sure that he can play in there with the doors closed and not create too much sound that filters into the neighborhood. Some families have soundproofed their garages in order to keep the peace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter graduated from college last year. Finally, she has found a job and plans on moving out. She informed me that she is taking her bedroom furniture with her. She will be moving into her own apartment -- her first time being on her own. She has a job, which is great, but it doesn't pay that much.

Does this mean I have to buy her a whole new bedroom set to fill her room? I am OK with her taking the furniture to save costs, but I don't know what this will mean for her soon-to-be-empty room. -- Still Her Room, St. Louis

DEAR STILL HER ROOM: Congratulations on this next step in your daughter's maturity. I'm sure this is both exciting and daunting for both of you. Transitions can be tough because you don't know what will happen next. It's good that you are thinking about it all now.

It is very generous of you to allow your daughter to take her furniture. If that truly is what works best for her and for your home, continue to co-sign on that. You can also consider a couple of different alternatives. For example, you could buy her affordable bedroom furniture from IKEA or another starter furniture company. If you are fine with the furniture removal, you can also consider what you want to do with her room after she's gone. Perhaps you want to turn it into a study or den. You could add a sofa bed in case your daughter or others come to visit, so they have a place to spend the night. Consider all your options. Be clear that your daughter can take only her bedroom furniture if you allow her to do so. Establishing boundaries now will be important so you don't end up with your daughter later swiping random household items without your permission. Trust that it happens to many families. Start now to control yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone who runs in a similar social circle as me is a nuisance on social media. He is a self-proclaimed "troll," and he adds inappropriate or lewd comments on posts. I blocked and unblocked him (so it seems like he never followed me in the first place), but he has privately messaged me, asking why I won't let him follow me. How can I tell him that he makes people uncomfortable on social media? He genuinely thinks he's hilarious. -- Not My Follower, Philadelphia

DEAR NOT MY FOLLOWER: You have been given an invitation to express your feelings about this person's behavior. Give him the gift of your insight. Definitely tell him that the reason that you have blocked him is because many of his comments on social media make you uncomfortable. Point out specific examples of posts he has made that were inappropriate. Be prepared to explain what you think is inappropriate about them. Be clear that what he thinks is funny, you find offensive. Add that you do not want to be linked to someone whose commentary does not reflect your values. You can also suggest that he tone it down in general. While you cannot speak for other people, let him know you suspect that others find him offensive, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What is the etiquette for passing down jewelry? Is this just for blood-related relatives? I ask because I have three stepdaughters who have an estranged mother. Would it be uncouth to pass down some of my family jewelry? I love them and want them to have something special that belonged to me. We are close, even though I am not their real mother. -- Pass Downs, Syracuse, New York

DEAR PASS DOWNS: First thing to know is you can give your possessions -- whatever they are -- to whomever you choose. There is no rule around giving. Obviously, if you have valuables, your family will likely expect you to share them within the family unit before you give more liberally. But even under that "rule," your stepdaughters would be at the front of the line.

Some families struggle with finding comfort, finding their place when they are stepfamilies and the other parent is still alive. Claim your stepdaughters as your own, never attempting to replace their mother, but being clear that you love them fully and would do anything for them. By all means, give each of them pieces of your family jewelry. They surely will appreciate it.

Let me add that you don't have to wait until your passing for them to receive jewelry from your estate. Consider giving them an item or several from your collection now. In this way, you can share stories with them of the jewelry's origin, of your youth, of your life. Consider each gift a way for you to connect more deeply with them. Your greatest gift to them may be the interaction that occurs around the offering of the jewelry, which will make the receipt of it that much sweeter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2017! We have reached a turning point in our lives. I find it helpful to pause for a moment, take a look back and then plan for the future so that each step can really count. For many of us, 2016 was a tumultuous year. Between personal obligations, family commitments, political volatility and economic pressures, many Americans felt significant discomfort in the past year. Many of us got caught up in the news cycle of the presidential election season, which left people on all sides feeling stretched and more than a bit bruised. I have listened to hundreds of people talk about what they think Americans should be doing versus what we have been doing -- on a wide variety of fronts.

That is what I want to address now. The one thing that we can control is ourselves. The reality is that it is hard to stay in control of our thoughts, words and deeds all the time. It takes tremendous focus and commitment to stay on track. Think about how often you may have promised yourself to engage in a fitness plan only to fall off in a month. Or what about when you pledged to save money out of every paycheck only to stop that automatic deposit when you needed some extra cash? Or when you said you would write a thank-you note to your neighbor who helped you when you were in great need? Or when you didn't like something that your local or national government did and you thought to write a letter in opposition, but you didn't?

What if you actually did what you said you were going to do? What if each of us took the time to figure out exactly where we stand on the issues that matter in our lives, and then decided to take specific action that could affect outcomes? What if we accepted responsibility on a consistent basis for what we think, say and do?

I am saying this as one who has lived through all of these "what ifs" in the past, sometimes being consistent, often not. I know from personal experience that when I stay focused on a goal and complete it, I feel much better about myself, and I get things done. So, I want to recommend to all of you, to all of us, that keeping a written daily plan along with a broader monthly plan will help us to reach our goals. I write down categories: PERSONAL, FAMILY, WORK, HOME, FRIENDS. Under each category, I break it down into manageable parts. For example, when I wasn't calling my mother enough, I added "Call Mama" daily. And, voila, I started to do it. For health, I added a daily "Drink water." For work, because I have multiple projects going at a time, I make subdivisions that give each project its own space. Carving your duties and interests into manageable parts helps you to be poised for success. And then, when we get to the end of this year, we can all point to specific successes that we have achieved on multiple fronts. Want to try it?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)