DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone who runs in a similar social circle as me is a nuisance on social media. He is a self-proclaimed "troll," and he adds inappropriate or lewd comments on posts. I blocked and unblocked him (so it seems like he never followed me in the first place), but he has privately messaged me, asking why I won't let him follow me. How can I tell him that he makes people uncomfortable on social media? He genuinely thinks he's hilarious. -- Not My Follower, Philadelphia

DEAR NOT MY FOLLOWER: You have been given an invitation to express your feelings about this person's behavior. Give him the gift of your insight. Definitely tell him that the reason that you have blocked him is because many of his comments on social media make you uncomfortable. Point out specific examples of posts he has made that were inappropriate. Be prepared to explain what you think is inappropriate about them. Be clear that what he thinks is funny, you find offensive. Add that you do not want to be linked to someone whose commentary does not reflect your values. You can also suggest that he tone it down in general. While you cannot speak for other people, let him know you suspect that others find him offensive, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What is the etiquette for passing down jewelry? Is this just for blood-related relatives? I ask because I have three stepdaughters who have an estranged mother. Would it be uncouth to pass down some of my family jewelry? I love them and want them to have something special that belonged to me. We are close, even though I am not their real mother. -- Pass Downs, Syracuse, New York

DEAR PASS DOWNS: First thing to know is you can give your possessions -- whatever they are -- to whomever you choose. There is no rule around giving. Obviously, if you have valuables, your family will likely expect you to share them within the family unit before you give more liberally. But even under that "rule," your stepdaughters would be at the front of the line.

Some families struggle with finding comfort, finding their place when they are stepfamilies and the other parent is still alive. Claim your stepdaughters as your own, never attempting to replace their mother, but being clear that you love them fully and would do anything for them. By all means, give each of them pieces of your family jewelry. They surely will appreciate it.

Let me add that you don't have to wait until your passing for them to receive jewelry from your estate. Consider giving them an item or several from your collection now. In this way, you can share stories with them of the jewelry's origin, of your youth, of your life. Consider each gift a way for you to connect more deeply with them. Your greatest gift to them may be the interaction that occurs around the offering of the jewelry, which will make the receipt of it that much sweeter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2017! We have reached a turning point in our lives. I find it helpful to pause for a moment, take a look back and then plan for the future so that each step can really count. For many of us, 2016 was a tumultuous year. Between personal obligations, family commitments, political volatility and economic pressures, many Americans felt significant discomfort in the past year. Many of us got caught up in the news cycle of the presidential election season, which left people on all sides feeling stretched and more than a bit bruised. I have listened to hundreds of people talk about what they think Americans should be doing versus what we have been doing -- on a wide variety of fronts.

That is what I want to address now. The one thing that we can control is ourselves. The reality is that it is hard to stay in control of our thoughts, words and deeds all the time. It takes tremendous focus and commitment to stay on track. Think about how often you may have promised yourself to engage in a fitness plan only to fall off in a month. Or what about when you pledged to save money out of every paycheck only to stop that automatic deposit when you needed some extra cash? Or when you said you would write a thank-you note to your neighbor who helped you when you were in great need? Or when you didn't like something that your local or national government did and you thought to write a letter in opposition, but you didn't?

What if you actually did what you said you were going to do? What if each of us took the time to figure out exactly where we stand on the issues that matter in our lives, and then decided to take specific action that could affect outcomes? What if we accepted responsibility on a consistent basis for what we think, say and do?

I am saying this as one who has lived through all of these "what ifs" in the past, sometimes being consistent, often not. I know from personal experience that when I stay focused on a goal and complete it, I feel much better about myself, and I get things done. So, I want to recommend to all of you, to all of us, that keeping a written daily plan along with a broader monthly plan will help us to reach our goals. I write down categories: PERSONAL, FAMILY, WORK, HOME, FRIENDS. Under each category, I break it down into manageable parts. For example, when I wasn't calling my mother enough, I added "Call Mama" daily. And, voila, I started to do it. For health, I added a daily "Drink water." For work, because I have multiple projects going at a time, I make subdivisions that give each project its own space. Carving your duties and interests into manageable parts helps you to be poised for success. And then, when we get to the end of this year, we can all point to specific successes that we have achieved on multiple fronts. Want to try it?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine died recently, and I was asked to help out at her funeral by making some comments during the testimonials part. I am struggling because my friend was not always nice and could be kind of caustic with people. She had a sharp tongue and made a lot of people mad over the years. I don't think it's appropriate to tell those kinds of stories. But how do you honor someone's life and remain honest when you get up and speak about the person? I hate when I go to funerals and hear what sounds like fake stories about people. -- Honoring the Dead, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

DEAR HONORING THE DEAD: You are right to be very thoughtful about your comments before you offer your testimonial. While it would be inappropriate to say anything mean-spirited or caustic, you can craft comments that show a glimpse of the fullness of your friend's personality. Using humor helps. You could say something about how nice she was to you and how she would always tell it like it is. She had a sharp tongue, so everybody could count on her being honest. Balancing the good with the raw can keep your comments honest and uplifting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Any time I meet a stranger at a bar, nothing ever comes to fruition. It will seem to be like an excellent conversation, we exchange contact information and then everything falls flat. I am definitely to blame for some of these missed connections, but not all. Could it ever go anywhere with a stranger from a bar? I am beginning to think the lack of a buzz the next day causes cold feet. -- Single Pringle, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR SINGLE PRINGLE: There surely are romantic stories of people who met across a crowded room or even while randomly sitting next to each other at a bar and who lived the proverbial happily ever after. Does this happen often? I suspect that there are far more chance encounters, one-night stands or communication dead ends than lively romances.

If you want to keep the bar as one of your spots for meeting people, do your best to cultivate a keener eye. Who looks interesting? When you start talking, preferably pre-intoxication, get a sense of who the person is and what the person finds interesting. Check yourself. Do you really care about the things you are discussing? Is there an honest connection, or do you feel that the alcoholic haze is softening your view? Finally, how do you feel about the person the next day? If you continue to think about the person and want to learn more, that's when you pick up the phone and call (or text) to keep the conversation going. I recommend that if you think there's something there, try to organize a meeting or date somewhere other than the bar. Allow a different environment to help you see if the connection is worth cultivating.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)