DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine died recently, and I was asked to help out at her funeral by making some comments during the testimonials part. I am struggling because my friend was not always nice and could be kind of caustic with people. She had a sharp tongue and made a lot of people mad over the years. I don't think it's appropriate to tell those kinds of stories. But how do you honor someone's life and remain honest when you get up and speak about the person? I hate when I go to funerals and hear what sounds like fake stories about people. -- Honoring the Dead, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

DEAR HONORING THE DEAD: You are right to be very thoughtful about your comments before you offer your testimonial. While it would be inappropriate to say anything mean-spirited or caustic, you can craft comments that show a glimpse of the fullness of your friend's personality. Using humor helps. You could say something about how nice she was to you and how she would always tell it like it is. She had a sharp tongue, so everybody could count on her being honest. Balancing the good with the raw can keep your comments honest and uplifting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Any time I meet a stranger at a bar, nothing ever comes to fruition. It will seem to be like an excellent conversation, we exchange contact information and then everything falls flat. I am definitely to blame for some of these missed connections, but not all. Could it ever go anywhere with a stranger from a bar? I am beginning to think the lack of a buzz the next day causes cold feet. -- Single Pringle, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR SINGLE PRINGLE: There surely are romantic stories of people who met across a crowded room or even while randomly sitting next to each other at a bar and who lived the proverbial happily ever after. Does this happen often? I suspect that there are far more chance encounters, one-night stands or communication dead ends than lively romances.

If you want to keep the bar as one of your spots for meeting people, do your best to cultivate a keener eye. Who looks interesting? When you start talking, preferably pre-intoxication, get a sense of who the person is and what the person finds interesting. Check yourself. Do you really care about the things you are discussing? Is there an honest connection, or do you feel that the alcoholic haze is softening your view? Finally, how do you feel about the person the next day? If you continue to think about the person and want to learn more, that's when you pick up the phone and call (or text) to keep the conversation going. I recommend that if you think there's something there, try to organize a meeting or date somewhere other than the bar. Allow a different environment to help you see if the connection is worth cultivating.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high-maintenance person to buy gifts for. I am incredibly picky. Because of this, every year I ask for no presents for Christmas because I know I probably won't like them. Instead, I tell my family to buy another gift for their children or spouse. I am well-off and fortunate enough to buy myself the necessities. I tell the Christmas host, my sister, about my no-gift policy because she constantly goes overboard and then complains about being broke after the holidays. I never draw attention to the fact that I open one gift and always bring a gift for everyone else -- year after year. How can I finally make it clear to my sister to stop wasting her money on gifts I will never use? I'm already trying to plan for next year. -- It's Been Years, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR IT'S BEEN YEARS: One way that families can reduce going broke buying gifts at Christmas is to focus the giving on the children. While you are a self-named "high-maintenance person," many adults are a bit picky and many have what they need. Sentimental cards can take the place of gifts. Another idea that some families use is to put adults' names in a box or bag, and everybody picks a name. In that way, each adult receives one gift that has a modest price cap to keep expenses down.

If you think your family would appreciate either of those choices, make the recommendation. You can point out to your sister that it will help her to manage her budget better. Otherwise, stay quiet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently had a yoga revival. I used to be an avid yogi, and I have recently returned in order to lose weight and gain peacefulness. Recently, I saw acrobatic yoga videos on my social media pages and thought it'd be perfect to do with my boyfriend. It seems like a fun way to bond and get fit. The only problem is that he hates the idea. He apparently doesn't think yoga is manly enough. I want to do this with him and attend classes. Do I use my upcoming birthday as leverage? This is the first time he's refused to even attempt something I am passionate about. -- Future Acrobat, Denver

DEAR FUTURE ACROBAT: This might be the time that you go it alone. Since you are focused on your personal fitness and peacefulness, do not give up if he doesn't co-sign your idea. Go to a class to make sure you that you are doing the asanas properly. You do not want to hurt yourself. The next step can be following an acrobatic yoga video. If you do that at home, he will be able to see what you are doing and possibly try it out -- especially if it is in private. But even if he never catches on, you should continue your practice.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love to plan my birthday celebrations. I feel like it is the one day a year I can completely make about me. This year, my girlfriend of almost a year was shocked to learn that I have been planning my own birthdays for all my adult life. According to her, the celebration should be planned by a partner, family or friends. She claims that this is a way of pampering whoever's birthday it is. I disagree; I like to know exactly what is going on. So who traditionally plans the birthday bash? -- Am I Wrong?, Patchogue, New York

DEAR AM I WRONG?: I believe that the tradition of having someone else plan your birthday celebration dates back to parents, usually mothers, planning parties for their children. It is true that in many relationships, friends or family members do continue that tradition by planning special events for their loved ones. Out of that tradition easily comes the surprise party, which some people love, and others abhor.

This leads us to you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you planning your own birthday parties. This allows you to create and control the type of event you want -- and even manage the guest list. I have been planning my birthday parties since I was a young adult. I totally get why you would like that. I will add, though, that if your girlfriend wants to be a part of your party planning, do your best to make room for her to participate. You can acknowledge your girlfriend's desire to pamper you and invite her to be your co-pilot. Admit that this is not your practice, so you need her to be flexible. Talk about your ideas with her. Once you make a definitive plan, ask her to take on certain responsibilities. Try it out. You may enjoy her participation and support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: To your reader with a bed-wetting child: When I was a small child, I wet the bed longer than many children do. I simply did not wake up to go to the bathroom. The solution was simple: My mother would set the alarm for 2 a.m. and get me up to go to the bathroom. Eventually, I learned to wake up and go when I needed to go. You may think that this is inconvenient, but it surely beats having to deal with a wet bed every day. Please try this method and be kind and considerate of the child. After all, the problem is quite embarrassing for her. -- Past Bed-Wetter, Minden, Louisiana

DEAR PAST BED-WETTER: Thank you so much for sharing the solution that worked for you. Bed-wetting is so embarrassing for the child experiencing it that it can easily debilitate social relationships and natural social growth. Your mother's solution was brilliant in that she figured out a behavioral pattern to support you, and it worked! I hope that other children will benefit from your story.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)