DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to a new neighborhood. I had very close ties with my neighbors before moving, so I am a little surprised that my new neighbors are not as friendly. In this new neighborhood, the houses are farther apart, and some even have gated driveways. This is not what I was used to before relocating.

I have tried going next door and across the street, but have gotten confused and cold responses. Could it be me? Is this just where I live now? I am sad to have lost my neighborly relations. -- Cold Shoulders, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR COLD SHOULDERS: State Farm recently conducted a survey to take the temperature of neighbors across the country, essentially to learn what constitutes a good neighbor today. Interestingly, most of the participants said that they want to be personally welcomed when they move into a neighborhood, while those very same people often did not enjoy the favor of their neighbors when they moved. Expectations are high, but follow-through seems to be lacking.

My takeaway is that if you want to cultivate relationships with your neighbors, you cannot give up on your efforts. Consider hosting a holiday gathering for neighbors, inviting the families who live near you. Make a festive invitation and see what happens. The Good Neighbor survey said that most neighbors welcome a neighborhood gathering but just don't get around to organizing it. Bringing people to you may be the secret to unlocking some of those gates. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My kids have been pestering me to get another dog. Our current dog is a 5-year-old Chihuahua, and they want to get her a friend, since she has been left alone a lot this year. I think she needs a friend as well because I hate feeling guilty, but if one dog is alone too much, the other will be as well. My conscience is torn. Should I get my pooch a friend? I've been pressured for months now. -- Lonely Pup, Seattle

DEAR LONELY PUP: If possible, check with your veterinarian. I say this because he or she will have a sense of your dog's health and temperament as it relates to introducing a new dog into the family. With the blessing of the doctor, a companion dog might be perfect. If you are able to contain the dogs in a yard or indoor area, you can preserve your home and give them a safe space to romp. Just make sure that if you introduce a young dog to your 5-year-old that you provide enough toys for each of them so that you reduce the turf wars that will occur while no one is at home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter has started keeping her door closed when her friends are over. They have just started high school. They used to include me in their gossip, but now it appears that I am not welcome to join or even overhear. I want to make sure my daughter isn't growing up too quickly while letting her keep her privacy. My husband thinks nothing good can happen behind closed doors, but I argue that they're only 14 and can't be getting into too much trouble. -- Door Open or Closed, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR DOOR OPEN OR CLOSED: Stop defending your daughter and establish ground rules. If she was never allowed to close the door before, that rule should remain in effect today. If you want to split the difference, you could tell your daughter she can close the door as long as she understands that you can open it whenever you want to.

It may be true that you are no longer privy to teen gossip, but you need to be seen as the one in charge. Teenagers do push buttons. It is their nature. To ensure that they are safe in their behavior and thinking, let your daughter know that you reserve the right to come in whenever you please. You can knock briefly before entering, in an effort to show them respect, but definitely conduct regular patrolling exercises. Your husband is right.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hosted a BYOB viewing party at my apartment a few days ago. Someone brought a pricey bottle of liquor and didn't take it with them after the game was over. Is it mine now? Should I reach out to the owner of the bottle and ask if he wants it back? This is the first time something like this has happened to me. The bottle is mostly full and worth $70. -- Is This a Gift?, Detroit

DEAR IS THIS A GIFT?: It is understandable that you would question whether your friend meant to leave that expensive bottle at your house. I would not call to find out, though. The protocol when you bring a bottle to someone's house is that it stays at the house. Your guest could have taken the bottle with him, but since he did not, assume that he meant to leave it.

You should treat it as the special bottle that it is, mainly not consuming it with too much haste. You may want to keep it for special occasions when you have guests over -- especially the person who gave it to you.

I also want to caution you not to be concerned about it at all. Your friend brought the bottle. Consider it a generous gift. When you are invited to a BYOB party, you may want to up the value of the bottle, as this person did. Or just bring what you believe people will enjoy, and trust your instincts.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am taking part in my work's secret Santa gift exchange. I thought the drawings would be slightly rigged so I would at least know who I was buying a gift for, but I have never spoken to my gift recipient, "Jeff." What could I possibly get him? We were advised against getting generic gifts and really getting to know the person. -- Too Much Effort, Syracuse, New York

DEAR TOO MUCH EFFORT: It sounds like your company's management team wants the staff to get to know one another. This is a creative, if time-consuming, way. You need to become a sleuth of sorts. Figure out who Jeff is. Walk by his desk and do a cursory overview of what he has in his personal area to get ideas for his interests. Look him up in the company directory to learn about his job and any details that might be available. Research him on social media as you continue your search. You don't want to give away that you are the secret Santa, so you have to be careful how much you talk to Jeff. If you want to engage him at all, you may want to speak to several people in his area so that it will remain vague as to exactly who you are and who you are investigating.

Then, get something simple that speaks to who this man is. Like, if you see a particular candy or gum on his desk get him more of that. If you notice a book, get him a book in that genre. Kids' photos? A fun picture frame that's kid-friendly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family immigrated to the United States from Poland, and we still celebrate Christmas s we did back home, at night on the 24th. After remarriages, this year is our first celebrating American Christmas. We don't know what to expect except what we've seen in movies and holiday commercials. There is no easy way to learn the culture except for experiencing it, but I feel like a fish out of water. Does everyone really run downstairs in their pajamas and start opening presents? Do we all watch each other open gifts? -- How to Be American, Boston

DEAR HOW TO BE AMERICAN: There are some things that most families do, but honestly you should speak to the new step-families to learn about their traditions. Give them an opportunity to tell you about what they think is important in their families. Often, these things change when children grow up, so it's smart to check in.

One common activity, especially with young children, is to leave milk and cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve. Children go to bed early, then wake up very early, so parents tend to make rules about when everyone will go to see what Santa left under the tree. Opening presents is commonly a group activity, in pajamas, where family members take turns opening gifts so they can see what everyone gets. Regardless of a family's budget, the goal is to have something for everyone, especially the children.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)