DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate my birthday. I try to make it a fun event every year, but it ends in either tears or injury for me. This year, I've decided to not celebrate my birthday and spend it alone. I was planning on getting takeout from my favorite restaurant and spending the day with my dog.

I told my friends about how excited I am, and my friends insist on spending the day with me. I just want to be alone, and I think I will have fun this way. I don't want gifts or attention, and I want to tell my friends to leave me alone because they think how I planned my day is "sad." -- Solo Birthday, Minneapolis

DEAR SOLO BIRTHDAY: Your mistake was telling your friends your plan. Naturally, they want to do a group activity, especially since they do not understand or accept your motivation. In order to ward them off, either schedule another date to get together with them so that they are satisfied and don't stage a surprise intervention, or put your foot down, make your plans, lock your door and don't answer. I suggest you do the former. It will allow you more peace of mind to enjoy your solo celebration. Happy birthday!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with roommates in a large suburban house. I have been hearing, for lack of a better descriptor, "intimate" noises practically every day. These are always from the same room while everyone is home. I find this disrespectful and annoying. After work, I shouldn't be coming home to an uncomfortable environment. Is there anything I can say to the disrupters? This is loud enough to be heard on the entire second floor. -- Hush Up, Syracuse, New York

DEAR HUSH UP: Talk about awkward! This is one that needs to be addressed directly enough for your roommates to get the message.

One direct, yet indirect option is to slip a note under the door when you get home and hear the action, saying: PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN! ROOMMATES ARE HOME. You can also say something one-on-one. When you next see your roommate, say that it has become uncomfortable for you when you come home from work because you routinely hear sex noises. You can use a little humor and tell your roommate that you are happy that he or she is getting so much action, but switch immediately to the impact on the house. Suggest that there should be PG time in the house up until a specific hour that everyone votes on. Add that your randy roommate should consider buying a rug and other noise mufflers so that when it's time to get busy, there are some built-in sound absorbers that can help keep the intimacy private.

If your roommate says it's not a big deal or otherwise dismisses your request for lowering the volume, get serious and remind him or her that this is a shared house. If necessary, enlist your other roommates to talk to the offender about being more mindful of the other people in the house.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working as a freelance writer for most of my life. I have been able to make a decent living for myself, but I don't have much extra. I had a heart attack a few years ago and have had various other health concerns. As a result, I had to figure out how to get proper health insurance and other support.

So, now I'm looking to retire. I just can't work at the pace I once did anymore. I feel like I will be able to retire if I stay lean in my spending. I guess I'm a little nervous about how my friends will look at me. I am getting some government assistance and hopefully will soon receive Social Security. I'm 65 years old, so I qualify for everything I will be getting, but I worry that my friends will think I am trying to take from the government even though I have paid in with all my taxes and everything for my whole life. How can I reconcile these feelings? -- Ready to Retire, New York City

DEAR READY TO RETIRE: Your true friends should be happy for you that you were able to overcome your health concerns and be able to retire with enough money to take care of yourself. You should make a mental note about anybody else with sharp opinions about your circumstances. They should not be in your inner circle and have no need to know details about your retirement. Surround yourself with people who are compassionate and practical.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have found myself spending time traveling whenever I get time off instead of going home to see my family. I feel guilty about this, but I am young and won't have these funds and freedom when I have a family. I haven't seen my parents in over a year, due to jetting off whenever I can. We FaceTime, but my mom has asked me to come home for Christmas this year. Should I cancel my trip (it's been paid for) to surprise my mom? I'm on the fence because I could see her in January. -- Travel Bug, Cincinnati

DEAR TRAVEL BUG: What you need to do is strike a balance between your world exploration and your connection to family. The tricky part is that when you are ready to settle down, your parents may not be around to share that with you. Also, you may have less time to visit your parents when you have children.

For now, get a feel for how your parents are doing. If you think they are healthy, you can potentially tell them of your trip and promise to come home in January. They will surely be happy to see you whenever you can come. But make sure that your January trip is long enough to connect with them in a meaningful way. Pledge to add more trips home to your schedule for next year. That would be a perfect New Year's resolution!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a newly single father to a 4-year-old girl. I am writing to you for a slightly embarrassing but important reason to me: I can't do my daughter's hair. I know there are many more pressing issues in the world right now, but I don't want my little girl to feel she is missing out because she doesn't have a mother who can braid her hair. I have tried to learn through YouTube videos to no avail. How can I make sure my daughter can be proud of her hairstyles? -- Not a Hairdressing Daddy, Dallas

DEAR NOT A HAIRDRESSING DADDY: It takes time to become proficient at hairdressing -- well, time, skill and the right products. I recommend that you find a local hair salon that does children's hair and take your daughter there for a consultation and braiding. Ask the hairdresser to teach you how to do your daughter's hair. Offer to pay for counsel. Ask what products are best for her so that you can purchase them. Then watch closely as your daughter's hair is done. When it's time to do her hair again, practice when you have a bit of time so that you don't get frustrated being on the clock.

You may also want to ask for guidance from mothers of children in your daughter's class who have similar hair texture, or even neighbors whose children have hair like hers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After an embarrassing breakup, I completely cut my ex-boyfriend out of my life. I don't respond to any messages he sends me and have unfollowed him on all social media. I have no regrets about this and am happily finding myself after this breakup.

You can imagine my surprise when, a few months after the breakup, I began receiving messages from his mother. I respect her greatly and think it would be rude to ignore her so I responded; however, I feel as though she is being used as a pawn to keep me communicating with my ex. Is there any way to completely cease communication with my ex's family without being disrespectful? His mother was a gem to me every time I saw her. -- Moving Up and On, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MOVING UP AND ON: Out of respect for your ex-boyfriend's mother, be honest with her. The next time she calls, tell her that you feel a bit awkward speaking to her now since the two of you broke up, and it was a bad breakup. You may want to ask her if she is aware of what happened and how you feel about it. Either way, make it clear to her that you need to move away from him entirely for your own healing. While you enjoyed knowing his mother during your time together, it is too painful for you now to communicate with her.

Your honesty is important, as you have no idea what her son has told her. For all you know, she may be missing you and wanting you back in the family and thinking that there is a chance. Let her know that the door is closed, based on the circumstances of your breakup. Tell her you respect her tremendously, but you have to cut ties with his family.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)