DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and my mother love to spend time together. They have been spending more time together as of this year and, honestly, it freaks me out. They have gone to fitness classes, lunches and festivals together. My father and I work long hours, so I am happy they have each other to spend time with, but I don't understand why they have bonded so much in this recent year.

I should not feel like a third wheel to my mother and husband. I don't want to ask them to stop spending so much time together, but I feel as though it is the only way I can remedy what I am feeling. -- Too Close, Denver

DEAR TOO CLOSE: I understand that you are feeling jealous, but I want to invite you to get over it. Think about the alternative: Your husband could be chummy with a hot new teacher at the yoga studio or someone he randomly meets at a festival. Instead, he is choosing to share these moments with your mother, who has lived much of her life filling time without your father by her side. Honestly, it sounds like your mother may be consciously helping to protect your marriage as she also gets to know her son-in-law.

Stop worrying about yourself, and turn the tables on them. What can they do during their adventures to include you and your dad? Invite them to get creative to include you and your father in their experiences. Perhaps they search for little treasures to bring you on occasion, or they agree to find a great story to share. Admit to them that their close bond makes you a little jealous, and you need them to help you feel more at ease about their time together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I volunteered for a large national charity yesterday. This was my first attempt to get into community service, and while I didn't expect this to be easy, I didn't walk out feeling my contribution was valued. I was not allowed to eat or take a break for six hours, was doing heavy lifting most of the time (I was not informed that this would be a possibility earlier) and had to stay hours past the time I was told I could leave. I am completely deterred from doing further charity or volunteer work. I have previously only worked with animals, and I thought I could make a bigger difference with humans. Boy, was I wrong. -- Chump Charity, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR CHUMP CHARITY: Before you write off all charities, take a few things into consideration. Number one: You need to know your limitations and be ready to stand up for them whenever necessary. If you know you need to eat or take a break, speak up and respectfully demand it. In the future, ask pointed questions about roles and responsibilities as well as timelines so that you are crystal clear of the expectations. This does not mean, by the way, that you are not interested in the charity. It means you stand up for all rights, including yours.

Second: Research charities to find one that has clear professional practices for staff and volunteers as well as those it serves. This will cut down on your need to fight for your rights. It will not eliminate it, however.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently reconnected with my college boyfriend because he was working on the campaign of Hillary Clinton. He was very excited about his job and eager to start building his career once the election was over. He, and many others, seemed certain that his candidate would win, and that it would be historic. We talked for months about all of the work that he felt was being done, especially by him, to try to support the candidate. It seemed great for him.

And then the results came in, and Clinton did not win. I wasn't sure what to say to him right away. We all were stunned by the election results, Democrats and Republicans alike. I called him the next day to check in, and he was kind of bewildered. I feel like I need to say or do something to console him and help him snap out of it. He said he has only a short time left to finish up his responsibilities, and then the job is finished.

How can I support him during this period of transition? He is not my boyfriend, but I care a lot about him, and I know he has to figure out how to move on. -- The Jig Is Up, New Orleans

DEAR THE JIG IS UP: Start by being a great listener. You can also remind him of the democratic process. What is beautiful about it is that no matter what the contest may have been like, we as Americans agree that we will move peacefully into the next administration and support them.

For your friend, that needs to include considering his future. He should evaluate his views on the election cycle and consider where he might be best used to further his political views and interests. In the world of politics, there are so many options, but all are based on what you believe. He must be able to articulate that clearly. From there he should start looking for a job -- with a smile on his face because he knows what he wants to do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I visited my mother recently and had a wonderful, if short, visit. I was thinking about how often I used to spend time with her and began to feel melancholy. Her life is slowing down, and mine is still very busy. We live 300 miles apart. I don't want to be the daughter who wasn't there for her mom. While that isn't true, I do know that we have fleeting moments together rather than hours of quality time. How can I strike a balance that fulfills both of us and that is realistic? -- Missing Mom, Pittsburgh

DEAR MISSING MOM: Engage modern technology to support and enhance your relationship. Get your mother a smartphone if she doesn't have one already. Teach her how to do simple things, like receive photos and texts -- and possibly send them. When you think of your mother, send her a quick message. Also, establish a weekly rhythm when you talk to each other on the phone. Visit as much as you can. Whatever your level of contact, make it count by being fully present.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: I rarely bring up political topics head-on, as I tend to wait for your questions and respond accordingly. However, I find myself in an unusual position today, in part due to the unusual nature of this moment in American history, and in part due to the timing for my family. I have a daughter in the seventh grade whose class hosts a mock election each year. This year, her class represented the Republican Party. They worked hard to represent their party's interests and perspectives.

The students were required to watch the first debate to gain insight into the presidential campaign. That's when things got complicated. The students came to class fervently ready to add commentary to their arguments, often regurgitating things they had heard the Republican candidate say about others. As they tried out their points, they were told they could bring up any policy ideas they wanted, but they could not disparage, belittle, defame or otherwise speak disrespectfully of their opponent or any segment of the American people.

This was confusing for these bright young people, who were simply trying out what they had just heard, either during the debate or in the news, on each other. And therein lies my problem: How do I guide my child through the next days, let alone years, when what she has heard from virtually every news organization is about commentary spewed through every type of "ism" that exists? How are we to interpret the mudslinging quality of this presidential race, which ended with some measure of decorum, to be sure, but also with lingering, festering open wounds thanks to hyperbole, lies, condescension, potential crimes on both sides of the aisle and a wellspring of anger?

We are all supposed to be better than this, especially our leaders. I have spent decades coaching people on how to present themselves effectively, and I am dumfounded by the recent events and engagements of our highest leaders. As I have talked to lower-level government office holders, clergy and other smart people, what I have heard the most has been a rallying cry for democracy to reign, along with a hopeful faith that we all will reach for our higher natures.

What else? We need to teach our children to speak up for what they feel is right or wrong. Their voices cannot be stifled now. If they like what they hear, they must say so. If they do not, they absolutely must use their voices to echo their heartfelt sentiment.

Just as I have taken my daughter to vote with me from the day she was born, I am beginning to teach her about writing to her members of Congress and even to the president of the United States to articulate how she feels about what is happening in our country. To hear dialogue worthy of our listening is to require it. So, parents, friends, relatives and other aware individuals, I implore you to speak up every time you think our country needs a course correction. Let us stop nodding our heads when we don't like what we hear or turning a blind eye because it takes too much effort or we don't know where to start to be heard. We must figure it out. Otherwise, our children will believe -- falsely -- that it is OK to demean their neighbor or vilify the child or adult who is somehow different from them. Let's not allow that on our watch. Let's be better than that -- starting now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)