DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently reconnected with my college boyfriend because he was working on the campaign of Hillary Clinton. He was very excited about his job and eager to start building his career once the election was over. He, and many others, seemed certain that his candidate would win, and that it would be historic. We talked for months about all of the work that he felt was being done, especially by him, to try to support the candidate. It seemed great for him.

And then the results came in, and Clinton did not win. I wasn't sure what to say to him right away. We all were stunned by the election results, Democrats and Republicans alike. I called him the next day to check in, and he was kind of bewildered. I feel like I need to say or do something to console him and help him snap out of it. He said he has only a short time left to finish up his responsibilities, and then the job is finished.

How can I support him during this period of transition? He is not my boyfriend, but I care a lot about him, and I know he has to figure out how to move on. -- The Jig Is Up, New Orleans

DEAR THE JIG IS UP: Start by being a great listener. You can also remind him of the democratic process. What is beautiful about it is that no matter what the contest may have been like, we as Americans agree that we will move peacefully into the next administration and support them.

For your friend, that needs to include considering his future. He should evaluate his views on the election cycle and consider where he might be best used to further his political views and interests. In the world of politics, there are so many options, but all are based on what you believe. He must be able to articulate that clearly. From there he should start looking for a job -- with a smile on his face because he knows what he wants to do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I visited my mother recently and had a wonderful, if short, visit. I was thinking about how often I used to spend time with her and began to feel melancholy. Her life is slowing down, and mine is still very busy. We live 300 miles apart. I don't want to be the daughter who wasn't there for her mom. While that isn't true, I do know that we have fleeting moments together rather than hours of quality time. How can I strike a balance that fulfills both of us and that is realistic? -- Missing Mom, Pittsburgh

DEAR MISSING MOM: Engage modern technology to support and enhance your relationship. Get your mother a smartphone if she doesn't have one already. Teach her how to do simple things, like receive photos and texts -- and possibly send them. When you think of your mother, send her a quick message. Also, establish a weekly rhythm when you talk to each other on the phone. Visit as much as you can. Whatever your level of contact, make it count by being fully present.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: I rarely bring up political topics head-on, as I tend to wait for your questions and respond accordingly. However, I find myself in an unusual position today, in part due to the unusual nature of this moment in American history, and in part due to the timing for my family. I have a daughter in the seventh grade whose class hosts a mock election each year. This year, her class represented the Republican Party. They worked hard to represent their party's interests and perspectives.

The students were required to watch the first debate to gain insight into the presidential campaign. That's when things got complicated. The students came to class fervently ready to add commentary to their arguments, often regurgitating things they had heard the Republican candidate say about others. As they tried out their points, they were told they could bring up any policy ideas they wanted, but they could not disparage, belittle, defame or otherwise speak disrespectfully of their opponent or any segment of the American people.

This was confusing for these bright young people, who were simply trying out what they had just heard, either during the debate or in the news, on each other. And therein lies my problem: How do I guide my child through the next days, let alone years, when what she has heard from virtually every news organization is about commentary spewed through every type of "ism" that exists? How are we to interpret the mudslinging quality of this presidential race, which ended with some measure of decorum, to be sure, but also with lingering, festering open wounds thanks to hyperbole, lies, condescension, potential crimes on both sides of the aisle and a wellspring of anger?

We are all supposed to be better than this, especially our leaders. I have spent decades coaching people on how to present themselves effectively, and I am dumfounded by the recent events and engagements of our highest leaders. As I have talked to lower-level government office holders, clergy and other smart people, what I have heard the most has been a rallying cry for democracy to reign, along with a hopeful faith that we all will reach for our higher natures.

What else? We need to teach our children to speak up for what they feel is right or wrong. Their voices cannot be stifled now. If they like what they hear, they must say so. If they do not, they absolutely must use their voices to echo their heartfelt sentiment.

Just as I have taken my daughter to vote with me from the day she was born, I am beginning to teach her about writing to her members of Congress and even to the president of the United States to articulate how she feels about what is happening in our country. To hear dialogue worthy of our listening is to require it. So, parents, friends, relatives and other aware individuals, I implore you to speak up every time you think our country needs a course correction. Let us stop nodding our heads when we don't like what we hear or turning a blind eye because it takes too much effort or we don't know where to start to be heard. We must figure it out. Otherwise, our children will believe -- falsely -- that it is OK to demean their neighbor or vilify the child or adult who is somehow different from them. Let's not allow that on our watch. Let's be better than that -- starting now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: On Halloween, I was shocked to see one of my friends wearing an offensive Native American costume. She was wearing a short beige dress and covered herself with blood. She claims that she was Pocahontas and a vampire just happened to put blood on her. The historical implications made my stomach churn. I am not a Native American, but I believe it is important to always wear appropriate costumes. Now that the holiday is over, I have been debating bringing up her offensive costume or letting it go in the hope she doesn't do this again. -- Totally Wrong, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR TOTALLY WRONG: Halloween is a strange holiday that brings out the extremes in people. Obviously, this includes your friend. If you feel so strongly that you want to point out your friend's stereotypical choice, go for it. I want you to be clear, though, that the nature of Halloween costumes is extremity. When people creatively amplify their costumes, it is often to further extremity. If you believe that your friend crossed a line, approach her about it. But make the moment a conversation about values more than one about Halloween costumes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a rural town and get my groceries from a farm about 30 minutes away. The farm pickup truck sets up in a parking lot, and you must get your box from them and pay. I think the prices I am paying for my produce should include delivery to my home. I pay a lot for organic and local food, and I don't understand why this can't be a delivery service. I want to ask the farmer to start doing this, but I want to deliver my idea in the best way so it's likely to come true. -- Come to Me, Denver

DEAR COME TO ME: I totally understand your agitation AND I know about the farmer's reality. The cost of bringing high-quality produce to market is more than you might imagine. To add gas and travel time to delivering the produce to you adds a significant surcharge onto what is likely a high price. Why? Because it is expensive to raise crops without pesticide, to harvest on a small farm and to bring that harvest to market.

Your choice really is what you want to do based on your wallet and your intentions. The farmer who is providing fresh produce will never be able to compete with your local grocer, even when you pay more for the privilege of their cleaner product. This means you have to come to terms with what you choose to buy, what it costs and if and when you make the choice to spend more or less for the same item.

Do not pressure the farmer to bring the food to your door. It is likely that the farmer can barely afford to show up to market.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)