DEAR HARRIETTE: On Halloween, I was shocked to see one of my friends wearing an offensive Native American costume. She was wearing a short beige dress and covered herself with blood. She claims that she was Pocahontas and a vampire just happened to put blood on her. The historical implications made my stomach churn. I am not a Native American, but I believe it is important to always wear appropriate costumes. Now that the holiday is over, I have been debating bringing up her offensive costume or letting it go in the hope she doesn't do this again. -- Totally Wrong, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR TOTALLY WRONG: Halloween is a strange holiday that brings out the extremes in people. Obviously, this includes your friend. If you feel so strongly that you want to point out your friend's stereotypical choice, go for it. I want you to be clear, though, that the nature of Halloween costumes is extremity. When people creatively amplify their costumes, it is often to further extremity. If you believe that your friend crossed a line, approach her about it. But make the moment a conversation about values more than one about Halloween costumes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a rural town and get my groceries from a farm about 30 minutes away. The farm pickup truck sets up in a parking lot, and you must get your box from them and pay. I think the prices I am paying for my produce should include delivery to my home. I pay a lot for organic and local food, and I don't understand why this can't be a delivery service. I want to ask the farmer to start doing this, but I want to deliver my idea in the best way so it's likely to come true. -- Come to Me, Denver

DEAR COME TO ME: I totally understand your agitation AND I know about the farmer's reality. The cost of bringing high-quality produce to market is more than you might imagine. To add gas and travel time to delivering the produce to you adds a significant surcharge onto what is likely a high price. Why? Because it is expensive to raise crops without pesticide, to harvest on a small farm and to bring that harvest to market.

Your choice really is what you want to do based on your wallet and your intentions. The farmer who is providing fresh produce will never be able to compete with your local grocer, even when you pay more for the privilege of their cleaner product. This means you have to come to terms with what you choose to buy, what it costs and if and when you make the choice to spend more or less for the same item.

Do not pressure the farmer to bring the food to your door. It is likely that the farmer can barely afford to show up to market.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is pregnant with our first child, and she is truly reveling in being pregnant. She loves the changes her body is going through, and now that she's toward the end of her pregnancy, she wants a nude maternity shoot. This makes me uncomfortable because I wouldn't have someone else see my naked body, and I don't want some random photographer looking at hers. She says this is just about documenting pregnancy and the life she is creating, but I'm still unnerved. Could I take these photos for her as a compromise? She wants a professional photographer. -- Photo Shoots, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR PHOTO SHOOTS: I want to share with you that some women feel beautiful during pregnancy and want to capture the image of that beauty as it may be a unique experience for them. In fact, it can be the only time that some women feel to the very core of their being that they are beautiful -- it is attached to a hormonal reality, that a child is growing within them. You have no need to feel jealous.

As one who has worked in the world of image for a long time, I recommend that you agree to having a professional photographer take her picture so that it will actually be a great photo. You can be there, if you are both comfortable with that. I promise you that this is not about her wanting to have someone else see her nude. It is about her celebrating the miracle of bringing a child into the world. Help her to celebrate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I know many high-profile investors. My brother-in-law "Dave" wanted to have a meeting with two investors I know to pitch them a restaurant idea. Dave bailed on me a few days before the meeting. I was embarrassed that my name was attached to someone so unprofessional. This meeting wasn't something easy to schedule, and I didn't want to waste the investors' time. My sister doesn't like family working together, yet her husband thinks it's all right to try to reschedule the investor meeting he bailed on. Do I give Dave another chance? -- Dud Dave, New Orleans

DEAR DUD DAVE: Your wake-up call equals listening to your sister about her own husband. She told you not to work with him, in one way or another. You ignored her. And your decision backfired in your face. Why do you need more in order to stand down?

Your brother-in-law blew his chance to meet your investors. If he is now ready to make a presentation to investors, let him find them. You can tell him that you gave him a chance, which you did, and he walked away. The truth is that anyone who is trying to access funding for a project has to be willing to work hard and always be ready to present if money could be on the table. He was not ready. He is no longer your responsibility, and you have absolutely no reason to feel bad about that. Simply say no. You never know when you will need to reach out to them again. If you damage your reputation twice, they will say no the next time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was a baker for a number of years. I now work in construction, but I still have my skills. My friends love to ask me to bake them cakes for birthdays when they didn't think to order a cake (or want a freebie). This bothers me because although I like to bake for others, this is just exploiting my abilities. I've tried saying no to the requests, but I get guilted into it or iced out. How do I stop being the bakery for my friends? -- Betty Crocker, Los Angeles

DEAR BETTY CROCKER: Over the years, I have learned an important lesson: It is essential for people to stand in their own power in order to have ease in their life. This means having the courage and presence of mind to understand what your responsibilities are and what your value is, and that it is imperative for you to let others know that. This includes your friends. It is time for you to stop feeling guilty for having talent. It is up to you to stop them from taking you for granted.

To do so, you should make a menu of bakery options that you are willing and happy to make. Figure out how much each item should cost -- including raw materials, time and creativity. List the prices next to the item, and then distribute the list to your family and friends. Let them know that while your primary job is in construction, you have decided to continue to freelance as a baker since so many people are interested. If you receive a request, verify that the person is willing to pay the price. Have a formal order placed and paid for before you start mixing. If they balk, invite them to go to the local bakery. The end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel super insecure about my yellow teeth. Everyone else walks around with straight white teeth. Well, I never had braces and can't spend hundreds of dollars at the dentist whitening my teeth. I've tried the at-home fixes (banana peels, strawberries, coconut oil, etc.), but still find myself trying not to smile so I don't showcase my crooked yellow teeth. How else can I get dazzling teeth? -- Yellow Chompers, Washington, D.C.

DEAR YELLOW CHOMPERS: Look around. Most people with their natural teeth have some version of yellow teeth. Why? Teeth yellow with age. That said, you can avoid certain foods that accelerate discoloration. This includes coffee, red wine, beets and other deeply staining foods. Smoking is a disaster for teeth and overall health.

Beyond altering your diet, you can try a tooth whitener again. Guess what? Baking soda is a natural tooth whitener. Also, some of the over-the-counter dental whiteners can work quickly. But I want to say to you that we all have challenges with personal self-confidence. If you are able to see past your teeth, you will create the opportunity to cherish each moment of your life. Trust me, there are people with no teeth who find a way to savor what's before them. You can, too!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)