DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a late-night pizza parlor that is open until 3 a.m. A few weeks ago, we had a drunk customer accidentally start a fire in the restaurant with a lighter. I saw this happening and quickly jumped into action. The owner heard about this and promoted me -- while demoting my former manager. We basically switched jobs, and I am having trouble with the power dynamic. Do I truly have the right to boss someone around who dropped the ball only once? -- Job Switcheroo, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR JOB SWITCHEROO: Stop thinking about your responsibilities as "bossing somebody around." Instead, consider your role as both a troubleshooter and peacemaker, at least for now. Talk to your former boss, and apologize to him for the turn of events, which obviously was beyond your control. Assure him that your intention is to do your best to make sure that the pizza parlor runs smoothly. Ask him for his help.

As you make decisions -- including assigning schedules, if that's in your purview -- be clear and direct. Review the responsibilities of being a manager, and state that you are following protocol when you make decisions. Ask your staff, including your former manager, to comply. Your clarity of authority and kindness will eventually smooth over the current tensions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have six adult children. As you can imagine, getting eight people's schedules to align can be a nightmare. We have all agreed to take a long weekend off from work and vacation together. However, my children can't agree on the destination. No one is willing to compromise, and instead they threaten to not take off from work. Is there any way I can wrangle everyone's opinions into one trip? I am juggling ideas of a ski vacation, the Caribbean and a city excursion. I just want my family to have a new experience together. -- Rough Travels, Cincinnati

DEAR ROUGH TRAVELS: Congratulations on rearing strong-willed children. Believe it or not, it's not a bad sign that your adult children have strong points of view. That said, you still must be the parent. Instead of having your family members fight to the death and attempt to exert their muscle, which is likely based on childhood power struggles, step up and invite them to a more creative solution.

Since the ideas are completely different from each other, consider a lottery. Tell your children that everyone gets the chance to choose once from a group of options that represent everyone's ideas. You need to be the tiebreaker, so make sure there are seven options, with all being different. Either have everyone literally pick from a hat -- if you can get them all together -- or have everyone vote and if you need to break a tie, do so.

Next year, the lottery can remove the vacation you just had and includes all of the current ideas. In order to participate in the lottery, everybody has to agree to join the vacation!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter wants to throw a house party for her birthday. She asked me for permission and outlined all the games and activities that the kids would be doing. She told me that she's comfortable with me staying in the house, but she doesn't want her dad there because he'd embarrass her.

I told my husband what our daughter said, and I suggested he take a night off with his buddies at a bar. I think this is so mature of my daughter to do, and I want her to trust her parents like this. However, my husband now insists on staying home. Where can I find a happy medium? -- Baby's First Party, New Rochelle, New York

DEAR BABY'S FIRST PARTY: I want to caution you about your decision to side with your daughter and alienate your husband as your daughter enters her teenage years. It is important for you and your husband to be a team as you parent your teenager. Your daughter should not think that she can decide that your husband should be pushed out of the house.

Even if that is your recommendation, you have to figure out how to come to decisions that keep the adults in charge with your daughter remembering her place.

Why does your daughter think that your husband would embarrass her? Is her concern valid? Is there something you can address with him that may curtail any untoward behavior on his part? Further, what can you say to your daughter to let her know that you want to keep open communication between you as you also help her to remember always to honor her mother and her father? Food for thought.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my new co-workers at the diner I work at claims to be a psychic. She can't stop talking about her gift and trying to read people. Honestly, I think it's a crock. She's been wrong about me and a few other people, and now she's making customers uncomfortable. She doesn't do this around my manager, but I think he has the right to know. Do I mention this to our manager or keep being entertained by her failed "connections"? -- Entertaining Liability, Seattle

DEAR ENTERTAINING LIABILITY: Start with your co-worker. Be kind. Tell her that you are concerned that her psychic side hustle at the job could end up causing problems. Don't question her abilities. Instead, remind her that the boss expects all of you to stay focused on serving the customers. Point out that you have noticed that sometimes her psychic act has made some customers uncomfortable. Suggest that she stop.

If she does not and you continue to notice that customers are feeling uncomfortable, point it out to your manager -- but only then. You can say that your new co-worker seems to be eager to entertain customers with her psychic abilities, but you are worried that some customers don't like it. Then let your boss do the rest.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a large family of eight. I pay for a Netflix account that only permits two people on at the same time. There are simply too many people on this account, so I can barely watch it. A few of my children are independent adults, but they still mooch off of my subscription. How do I tell them to cut it out? I pay the bill. I should be able to watch whenever I want! -- Stealing the Subscription, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR STEALING THE SUBSCRIPTION: Start by changing your password so that your independent children who are not living with you do not have access to your account. You can also tell them to stop trying to use it. They know how large your family is. You have to put your foot down about who uses the account. Next, talk to your other family members about times when they can use it or not. Because you have to manage usage on Netflix, this clearly requires that you take the reins.

If your family is unwilling to follow the rules that you put in place, you may want to cancel your subscription for a while. You could also create a rewards system where good grades or other good behavior allows extra time to watch a show. Get creative.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My kids have been making fun of my new hobbies since they've moved out. It wasn't easy transitioning from stay-at-home mom to empty nester, so now I focus on making soaps, lotions and candles. My kids think it's funny that this is how I spend my time now and give me a hard time whenever I try to gift them with my creations. I have to keep myself busy somehow, and I don't think they realize how much time I put into raising them. How do I draw the line without snapping and make them realize that now is my time to develop my hobbies? -- Too Much Free Time, Portland, Oregon

DEAR TOO MUCH FREE TIME: You might consider writing them a letter where you thoughtfully articulate how much you love them and share stories of things you did with and for them as they were growing up. In your note, you can bring to life the wonderful memories that you have and that you possibly share with them about their growing-up years. Acknowledge your gratitude for being their mother.

Spend the second half of your letter telling them how challenging the transition has been for you since they grew up and moved away. Describe to them how you have had to figure out ways to occupy your time and discover joy differently since you no longer have them as your core focus. Tell them how much delight you are gaining from the various hobbies that you have undertaken. Point out that because your children remain the center of your world, you naturally want to share some of your creations with them. Explain that you understand that they may not want every candle or lotion just as you may not have wanted to save every painting or papier-mache sculpture they made when they were growing up. Ask them to cherish your gifts anyway because you are making and offering them with love.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)