DEAR HARRIETTE: My 13-year-old daughter wants to throw a house party for her birthday. She asked me for permission and outlined all the games and activities that the kids would be doing. She told me that she's comfortable with me staying in the house, but she doesn't want her dad there because he'd embarrass her.
I told my husband what our daughter said, and I suggested he take a night off with his buddies at a bar. I think this is so mature of my daughter to do, and I want her to trust her parents like this. However, my husband now insists on staying home. Where can I find a happy medium? -- Baby's First Party, New Rochelle, New York
DEAR BABY'S FIRST PARTY: I want to caution you about your decision to side with your daughter and alienate your husband as your daughter enters her teenage years. It is important for you and your husband to be a team as you parent your teenager. Your daughter should not think that she can decide that your husband should be pushed out of the house.
Even if that is your recommendation, you have to figure out how to come to decisions that keep the adults in charge with your daughter remembering her place.
Why does your daughter think that your husband would embarrass her? Is her concern valid? Is there something you can address with him that may curtail any untoward behavior on his part? Further, what can you say to your daughter to let her know that you want to keep open communication between you as you also help her to remember always to honor her mother and her father? Food for thought.