DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a young guy in my 20s. This past weekend I asked a girl I met through a dating app on a date. She accepted my date offer; however, she texted through the whole dinner! I confronted her about this at the end of the date, and she actually told me that she was more interested in someone else. I haven't been in the dating world for a long time, but I thought this was so rude. She still tries to text me, and I don't know what to do. We could've had a good thing, but she was so disrespectful and may have just used me for a free meal. Do I give her a second chance? -- Want A Girlfriend, Boston

DEAR WANT A GIRLFRIEND: Don't sell yourself short! You deserve way better than that young lady. While technology can get in the way of many relationships, it surely should not be a problem on the first date. Anybody who cannot take her eyes away from texting to have a full experience with someone on a first date does not deserve a do-over.

I understand that you really want to find someone to be your girlfriend. I encourage you to slow down. Think carefully about what qualities you would like your girlfriend to have. What are your interests, and what would you like to share with a woman? Then, if you go through a dating app, be clear about your interests in your dating profile, so that you potentially weed out the women who want something else. You can go so far as to say that you would like dates to be cellphone-free zones. Why not?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband's aunt passed away about seven months ago. At the time, I was very saddened. I attended the funeral and cried along with everyone else. But now the family is still mourning the loss. This is not a sudden death. She was in her 80s and sick for years. Clearly, I can't tell the family just to get over it, but I want to figure out some ways to move along the mourning process. I was thinking of having one scrapbooking or storytelling event and then slowly cutting down on the everyday mentions of her loss. -- Mourning Period Over, Cincinnati

DEAR MOURNING PERIOD OVER: People process grief in different ways. Just because this aunt was elderly does not mean that they miss her any less than if she had died young or suddenly. What will help you during this period as your family continues to grieve daily is to practice compassion. Do your best to be understanding of their pain. Your idea is a great way to engage them to capture their reminiscences meaningfully. Having a focused activity like scrapbooking will allow everyone space to roam through their memories about your husband's aunt and record them. What you cannot do is regulate how soon they will stop speaking of her daily.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going to a class reunion soon, and it has been almost 20 years. I feel horrible about what I'm going to say because I wouldn't have thought of myself like this, but I feel really self-conscious about going. I have gained a lot of weight over the years and do not feel like I look my best. I don't have enough time to drop 40 pounds or really do anything other than maybe to buy a new dress. I don't want my college friends to give me the side eye when I see them. I was so fashionable when I was in school, but those days are long over! Am I overthinking this? How can I be more at ease for this trip? I want to see my old friends, but a big part of me wants to hide. -- To Go or Not to Go, Washington, D.C.

DEAR TO GO OR NOT TO GO: Would it help for you to know that there are a whole lot of other people from your class who are probably feeling the same way? People obsess about their appearance when it comes to reconnecting after many years. The truth is, just about everyone will look different. Some will be bigger -- honestly, most will have gained weight. Some will be smaller. Some will be bald. Some will be ill. Some will be crotchety. Some will be warm and loving. They will represent a broad swath of realities.

Your job is to give yourself a pat on the back for committing to attending the reunion. If it will make you feel better, buy a new dress. More important, though, is to bring your joyful self. Bring a big smile and genuine happiness that you are all together. Resist making a disclaimer about your weight. It is not necessary. Focus on connecting with your fellow classmates.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm getting to the age where a lot of my friends' parents are dying. It seems like every couple of months I get word that a father or mother has passed. Many of these people I have known for years. It is really affecting me, and I'm not sure what to do about it. Typically, I go to the funerals and try to be there for my friends, but it is making me really sad. I lost both of my parents years ago, so I don't have them to console me. I'm not sure how I should react when these people who have been so close to me are now dying. -- Dealing with Death, Princeton, New Jersey

DEAR DEALING WITH DEATH: Given how close you have felt to some of these elders, you should reach out to your friends, check to see how they are doing and let them know that you are deeply mourning, too. Ask if you can connect with them. Determine if it is comfortable enough for them to talk with you about their parents' death. You may be able to do some mourning together.

You may also want to talk to a grief counselor, who can listen to you and help you sort through your feelings. The death of a loved one is usually traumatic, even if it is not your parent. Allow yourself to grieve and get help with the healing process.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My entire family has lived in New Jersey and Pennsylvania for generations. We all live within two hours of each other, and we see each other all the time. I have been exploring blogs and social media more and more, and I think that Seattle may be the city for me. I love the West Coast, the lifestyle and the natural beauty found all around, but I hate how guilty I'd feel if I pursued this dream. I plan on visiting Seattle very soon. If I do end up moving, how can I cope with my fear of missing out on my family events? I've never even missed a birthday. -- Hits Close to Home, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR HITS CLOSE TO HOME: You are right to be concerned about your next steps. Longing for the West Coast is real and understandable. Seattle is a beautiful, welcoming city that offers a lifestyle and access to nature far different from your East Coast way of living. Clearly, there is value in that, which may be enough to point you in that direction.

What you have to decide is if you will be able to reduce the amount of time that you physically see your family over the course of a given year. The work that you secure and what your resources look like will determine whether you can afford to go home more than a few times a year. You will not be able to see your family as often as you do now.

But thanks to social media and the internet, you absolutely can stay in close touch with your relatives. I have a sister who lives in Los Angeles, and my mother lives in Pikesville, Maryland. They speak every single day and have for all of the years that my sister has been gone. Even though they see each other rarely, they have a very close bond. Can you manage that? Or can you handle it for a few years? It might be that you go West for a while and then head back home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is turning 13, and many of her friends are having bar and bat mitzvah parties. Suddenly, I am being asked to purchase multiple dresses and gifts for these parties. What seemed like a lot of fun and a wonderful coming-of-age experience is making me broke. How can I help my daughter feel comfortable and enjoy herself even though she isn't Jewish -- all while staying on a budget? -- Partied Out, Westchester, New York

DEAR PARTIED OUT: You have to set a realistic budget for what you can afford, and stick to it. Talk to your daughter about how pleased you are that she is being included in her friends' celebrations and that you need to develop a strategy that the family can manage.

In terms of attire, your daughter should have a couple of simple dresses that she can wear more than once with different accessories. Just make sure it is not too brightly colored or unique so that it can transition well. For gifts, go modest. Ask the parents for ideas. Some families say no gifts or offer to a charity, in which case you can make a modest donation in the child's name. Giving money (or donating to charity) in multiples of $18 is symbolic of giving "chai," which means "life" in Hebrew.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)